OK, so the UK voted to leave the EUâ€¦ what now my awakened friend?
I see a lot of anger, sadness, outrage and, frankly, pain and suffering on social media todayâ€¦ based on what?
Well, itâ€™s obvious isnâ€™t it? Everything’s going to sh%t!
Well, itâ€™s obvious isnâ€™t it? We should hang our heads in shame!
Well, itâ€™s obvious isnâ€™t it? We should attack those that voted to leave!
The reality is, we just donâ€™t know ‘what now’ in practical, legal and economic terms. Thereâ€™s good evidence for various scenarios, but even the genuine â€˜expertsâ€™ (you know, the people that actually know what theyâ€™re talking about) state very clearly that the only thing we know for sure is that we donâ€™t know how a decision to leave the EU will play outâ€¦
Projections and assumptions is all we have to go onâ€¦
So I wanted to invite you to look a little deeperâ€¦
Let me ask you this:
Have you ever been surprised by your own decisions? Done something you thought youâ€™d never do? Something that, at the time, you thought was bad?
I know I have, and on each occasion, though it may have precipitated surprise, change, massive disruption and often painâ€¦ at some level there was healing and growth underneath it.
My Soul, as I see it, had decided it was time to bring light to some aspect of my shadowâ€¦ to set it freeâ€¦ enlighten itâ€¦ In accordance with my prayers and intentions…
What you may not have thought about, or realised is:
The UK has a Soul.
All countries do, as part of their collective consciousness and identity. Nations (and anything with a defined boundary) are Beings in their own right. And if you are a UK citizen, then you are part of it. Like organs and cells are individually themselves, but also part of you.
So let me speak to something bigger than your personal, localised selfâ€¦ your personalised local Soul evenâ€¦
And let me ask you this:
Are you willing to stay with your â€˜selfâ€™ in the face of the healing thatâ€™s being asked for from your Soul? Or will you shy away, splinter off in anger and self recrimination? For as you rage and persecute those that voted to leave for â€˜their ignoranceâ€™ you split the very thing you say you love, and prolong the pain.
The personal responses to the national decision very much reflect our responses to ourselves when we believe we have f*%ked things up.
I believe you are interested in a conscious, healing response to the reality of the situation…
So, letâ€™s break it down:
Iâ€™ve stated these reactions in a pretty bold way, and you might say â€œI donâ€™t think thatâ€â€¦ just be aware that Iâ€™ve used these terms to highlight the essence of the reaction in a very obvious way, however they can show up in more subtle and â€˜civilised/rationalâ€™ ways. And in anywise, itâ€™s an invitation to ask yourself if these are happening within you…
Our minds are natural â€œDisaster Movie Making Machinesâ€. You know this! So I invite you to examine your assumptions with some genuine self inquiry if youâ€™re generating suffering in yourself by believing your minds scary story.
You can ask Byron Katieâ€™s amazing questions, starting with â€œIs it true?”
REACTION 2: We should hang our heads in shame!
At the heart of this is an identity issue. Youâ€™ve taken the decision personally and attached a meaning to our national identity (including you) based on the decision weâ€™ve made that is causing you pain. Shame and self condemnation my friend is pain.
Freeing up painful attachment to your sense of identity isnâ€™t about denying your actions or their consequences. Itâ€™s about dropping the paralysing, disabling disempowerment, bringing clarity and freedom of movement to respond wholesomely in presence.
The NPA Process works directly with identity issues and is great for helping you step out of blocks which come from identity shifts. It empowers you to stop beating yourself up and start taking clear positive action at times like these. It also frees you up to allow IN the new sense of self that your Soul is calling for.
REACTION 3: We should attack those that voted to leave!
So you feel angry. I get it.
Things didnâ€™t go as you wanted or expectedâ€¦ An idea about the future has been shattered. And youâ€™re scared.
Anger can be a tough emotion to sit with. I get that too.
Thatâ€™s why we tend to avoid it.
Thatâ€™s why we project it out. Look for someone to blame.
â€œThose ignorant idiots! How could they do it?â€
This doesnâ€™t address the emotion directly. It doesnâ€™t take the healing opportunity thatâ€™s being offered and it puts YOU firmly in the victim rollâ€¦ which. Iâ€™m guessing, ISNâ€™T where your heart laysâ€¦
You might expect me to say â€œDonâ€™t be angry, itâ€™s all as itâ€™s meant to beâ€ yada yadaâ€¦
But that isnâ€™t real is it? If youâ€™re feeling angerâ€¦ FEEL it. And I mean really feel it. Sit your ass down and let the pure anger come. Itâ€™s a wave, and like all emotions it comes to pass. The avenue of passage is direct and full experienceâ€¦ projecting it out is just playing tennis with it.
Letting it truly come to pass, again, will free you from unconscious pain inducing responses AND most likely bring you the gift of awareness about where this national decision hooks you at a personal level. All good!
You can certainly use NPA to help you fully experience this, and there are lots of modalities which encourage you to do this, including Transformational Breathing, Vipassana style meditation and more.
A great method for directly sitting in emotions, which I have practiced and taught all over the world, is The Journeyâ€¦ So I have included a link to that in a list of resources below.
Iâ€™ve called this tough love, because I believe weâ€™re in a time where we are being called to USE the knowledge we have as awakened, conscious folk. Iâ€™ve seen a lot of these reactions from a lot of conscious people this morningâ€¦ Including myself!
I felt, literally, moved to write this and I hope it serves you to bring greater peace, grounded-ness, consciousness and freedom when the energy in the air is a little bit crazy.
Time to dive a little into the human and energetic mechanics behind The NPA Process… This little post isÂ for the tech heads, psychology nerds, ever-curious ‘how-do-dat’ folk and NPA skill seekers everywhere. I’m going to pull back the veil a bit on the art and nature of how we spotÂ those cookie cutters.
Now, just in case you turned up here cold and oblivious to NPA, boy you lucked out! 😉 The NPA Process is a beautifully simple way, that anyone can use, to stop taking things personally. And the best place to start is here: A perfect NPA starter exercise
OK… let’s dive in…
Picking Up Animation In A Spew (And how it relates to Identity)
When youâ€™re in a crowded room and someone on the other side of it mentions your name, your awareness heightens â€“ you pick it up, you are tuned to it. You don’t have to think about it, you are already pre-set to notice what you recognise as ‘You’ above all else.
In the same way, when you are (to use the NPA vernacular) spewing, you are listening for that which you recognise as â€˜your selfâ€™ (in other words, for the expressions of self identity).
These cookie cutters naturally pop out to you a little more than the rest of the spew. What we are really doing then, as we listen for the animation, is mapping our self-identifications. And it bares repeating that we are already pre-set to do this. We are already unconsciously competent.
This recognition of Self is like an energetic signal that broadcasts “that’s me that is” – like an energetic hashtag. A cookie cutter is ‘tagged’ when it is actively connected to our self-identity – cool huh?
The natural question then is “So how come we can spot other peoples cookie cutters?”
Well, just as in your fave social media feed, whether you have written #ThatsMeThatIs or they have… it’s still easy to spot when you’re looking for it right? As an observer of another’s spew, it is the noticing of that signal, that ‘tag’ which creates the popping out effect and indicates the cookie cutters as they arise.
GET THEÂ NPA KEY WORD CHEAT SHEET
The link below is a â€˜back doorâ€™ to a special 75% off offer on my essential guide to finding NPA cookie cutters
I was working with a client last week and got into some interesting territory around cravings she was experiencing. Inevitably, we looked at it through the lens of non-personal awareness. One of the hall marks of the non-personal perspective is to switch from a personalised view point to a relational one.
It was very powerful for her to take the following steps when the cravings came calling.
But, first off, it bears saying that some cravings are just natural hunger, and some are telling you that you’re deficient in some nutrient, so not all of them are ‘unhealthy’. This approach is for those cravings you know to be unhealthy…
THE 5 STEPS
1) Align with the personalised truth of the moment…
When a craving hits you, it’s been embodied, so you have personalised the energy. To put that another way, you have claimed the craving as yours and made it part of yourself. I often espouse the value of ‘Starting where you are’, it ground you into the current reality and means your movement from there is more connected and so, more impactful. You can do this with a simple statement: “I have a craving”
2) Step into the non-personal, relational perspective…
You are not, in fact, the craving. That might seem like an obvious statement but it’s so automatic to personalise these independent energies, that we often miss the blindingly obvious. A simple statement will help you move from the personalised, to the non-personalised perspective: “There is a craving”
3) Understand that an unhealthy craving is driven by pain…
This is true of any imbalanced behaviour – underlying it is some form of pain, driving a misdirected behavioural response, which is what marks it as ‘unhealthy’. So now you have untangled yourself from the energy of the craving in step two, you can begin to see this more clearly. A statement will help you align with this perspective: “The craving is in pain”
4) Align yourself with compassion for the craving…
This is not about figuring out what the pain is, analysing it or fixing it. Simply allowing yourself to acknowledge that the craving is a distinct energy and it is in pain generally elicits your natural human response of compassion, and compassion is an empowering perspective for you personally. There’s no statement as such here, but if compassion isn’t coming naturally, try imagining the craving as a little puppy in pain… that usually does the trick 😉
5) Open the possibility of another action or behavioural response…
An unhealthy craving is fixated on a particular behaviour or action as the antidote to it’s pain – be that eating, smoking or whatever. When you ‘give in to’ or are ‘taken over by’ it, when you personally identify with it, you are subject to that belief and behaviour. Now that you have untangled from it and are in a space of compassion, you’re in a much stronger place to open the doors of possibility. Again this is not about figuring out what that is – in the non-personal the ‘mechanisms’ are given space to find you. The point is to align you, and the relational space between you and the craving, with the energy of option rather than a singular and unhealthy route. In other words, it puts possibility in the pot. A simple statement will do this: “There is another way”
As I said, my client found this incredibly helpful, so I thought I would share it with you and hope that it makes a difference to your life experience. I’d love to hear what you experience, so please share in the comments below… and share it on social media if you feel your friends and those in your network could benefit from it.
In this short audio with Joel Young, The Creator of The NPA Process, you will discover how the requirement for personal involvement in your healing journey has dramatically changed since the background shift in consciousness has matured over the past few years…
The historic culture of personal involvement
How things are different since the recent shift
Why purpose is context specific on the healing path
Discernment betweenÂ option and need
How one lady went from flustered stuttering to clear expression in 30 seconds
How shifting consciousness automatically shifts emotional states, limiting beliefs and unhealthy behaviours
When conscious participation IS necessary
What love’s got to do with it
Time investment: 6.5 minutes
Why Conscious Participation Is Not Always Necessary For Healing
Criticism is a part of life, and yet so many people have a hard time receiving it and they often experience a lot of hurt in the process. Even if the critics intention is to be constructive, it can be experienced as painful.
I often say that awareness is a powerful thing, so I thought I’d bring some awareness to the topic, laying out why the sensitivity is there, and howÂ NPAÂ can change the experience completely in a healthy way.
Why Are People So Sensitive When It Comes To Criticism From Others?
You might be surprised to learn that the sensitivity actually comes from defence. Criticism threatens an identity, or sense of self and as we become more attached to an identity, it becomes rigid and brittle. If you imagine your skin became rigid and brittle and then someone came up and poked it – it might well split, and then OUCH!
Taking things personally is literally attaching to an identity – you say â€˜thatâ€™s me that isâ€™, or, equally as confining, â€˜thatâ€™s NOT meâ€™. For example, a 5 year old whoâ€™s told by his Dad: â€˜Youâ€™re funny!â€™ may take that on as a fundamental character trait. Literally taking it as â€˜Funny: thatâ€™s who I amâ€™. Perhaps he grows up and builds an identity all around that idea, maybe even makes it a career! Then someone sayâ€™s â€˜youâ€™re not that funnyâ€™ and his brittle skin gets poked! Of course, different people respond differently in different situations, but he may lash out, or withdraw – either way he feels pain.
A WayÂ To Stop Taking Things Personally
Essentially, The NPA Process allows people to stop taking things personally. Now, most of us realise that taking things personally is a painful thing but few have any idea HOW to NOT take things personally – so thatâ€™s pretty awesome by itself!
But what I have come to realise is that â€˜taking things personallyâ€™ is threaded much more deeply and subtly through our human psyche and is the fundamental mechanism for creating our experiences – both wonderful and painful.
NPA has now had a huge impact on the lives of people from all over the world, from all walks of life and in a huge variety of situations. So, it turns out, that the NPA Process is an amazing tool for clearing painful experiences quickly AND allowing more expansive and joyful experiences into our lives.
Running with the brittle skin metaphor for a bit, you could say that NPA gives you healthy skin – supple yet strong, sensitive and able to feel a vast range of sensations, yet in no way tender and raw. Someone can â€˜have a pokeâ€™, but it doesnâ€™t hurt, thereâ€™s nothing to defend and it can be seen for what it is; just a perspective.
So, Should We Take NOTHINGÂ Personally?
People are often surprised when I tell them that NPA does not subscribe to the idea that taking things personally is always bad. In fact it acknowledges that fundamentally itâ€™s how we experience anything at all!
What causes us pain and suffering is that brittle-ness I spoke of earlier – that attachment to, and defence of, a transitory idea of who we are. NPA offers a â€˜multiple perspectiveâ€™ approach which I teach on the Saturday ofÂ The NPA Expansive WeekendÂ and inÂ NPA: The BridgeÂ and this can bring a great deal of fluidity and relief to peoples sense of identity.
NPA is interested in helping people notice and shift those places where brittleness and therefore pain and suffering has come about from taking things personally, where either they are clinging to something that wants to pass, or resisting something that wants to come into their life.
A Note On Clarity & Action
People sometimes misinterpret this perspective and think that I am suggesting a path of passivity that a) never acknowledges that sometimes the critic is just being an arse, and b) doesn’t allowÂ space for the criticised person to have a powerful response.
So here’s what I’ve noticed…
There isn’t one formula for a response that is appropriate in all situations. The reports I get, and my own experience tells me that NPA (and not taking things personally generally) brings a tremendous clarity and presence to the situation. From that clarity and presence strong affirmative action seems to arise naturally.
This is not the powerless, angry action of someone who is in defence and feels like ‘the victim’, it’s the actionÂ of someone who knows who they are, supports their values and yet is open to self-evaluation. It’s the action of someone humble enough to know that they are not perfect and others may have a point, yet knows their boundaries and are willing to assert them. Walking away is definitely an option. Passionate discussion of different perspectives is definitely an option. This is a HEALTHY place to come from and time again I see NPA bringing clear and healthy action into peoples lives.
If you’re someone who feels sensitive to criticism, then thank God you’re here. If EVER there was a tool for the job, NPA is it for you!
So here’s what I recommend. Get REALLY into NPA. Practice, Practice, Practice The NPA Process! Master it, play with it, just do it! BuyÂ NPA: The BridgeÂ and listen to it over and over. And/or come to a seminar, join the NPA Community!
Each time you do a process youâ€™ll be loosening up your stuck identifications, letting go of some yukky stuff, or letting in some yummy stuff, but also training in the non-personal perspective â€“ this is one of the fundamentals of letting the Non-Personal perspective come alive in you.
Having the non-personal perspective â€˜aliveâ€™ in you brings an aikido like emotional and mental agility in difficult situations – like when criticism comes your way! Your brittle skin will be nourished, hydrated and re-conditioned with healthy, wholesome non-personal goodness. It’s a wonderful thing 🙂
Have you ever been in a situation where the people around you are in an absolute stink? A prolonged state of â€˜negativityâ€™ where it seems like nothing you say or do, no matter how well intentioned, can encouraged them to come back into their heart?
My name is Joel Young and I’m the creator
of The NPA Process, a beautifully simple way to stop taking things personally.
This video addresses the issue of dealing with intense negativity in terms of basic human interaction. It comes in the understanding that human relations are often where our deepest crap hits the proverbial fan, rarely stopping to consider the sanitised suggestions proffered by our more enlightened aspects.
Iâ€™ve experienced this many many times in my life and Iâ€™ve learned some valuable lessons along the way.
Iâ€™m not generally big on formulas, but it IS nice to have some options.
So hereâ€™s a list of 10 things Iâ€™d like to share with you, that Iâ€™ve found helpful when Iâ€™m dealing with intense negativity. If you can assimilate even one of them in the heat of the moment, youâ€™ll be doing yourself (and the other person) a big favour.
So let’s get started…
1. Re-Think The Label ‘Negativity’
When you label someones expressions as â€˜negativeâ€™ you enter dangerous territory.
Now, Itâ€™s not that Iâ€™m saying thereâ€™s anything intrinsically bad or wrong with the term negativity, Iâ€™m simply suggesting you examine what you are really saying when you use it, and how that impacts your experience: your thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
I could say a LOT about this, but the main point I want to highlight is that in the context of heated interactions: Watch out for the tendency to fall into the trap of using the term ‘negativity’ as one of the following: a judgement, a defence, an attack from a position of superior enlightenment, to assert yourself as a victim, to negate their perspective or deny their experience.
All of those will cause YOU pain and Iâ€™m encouraging you to be as aware as possible about how YOUR label for THEIR experience impacts YOUR experience.
When we’re uncomfortable with someone elseâ€™s expression, itâ€™s very easy to believe the notion that they ought to be different than they are â€“ after all, YOU can see that they would be much happier if they only followed your helpful advice and, of course, it would certainly be easier for you!
Again, Iâ€™m not saying that your helpful insights arenâ€™t awesome, and if they did do whatâ€™s bleedinâ€™ obvious to you, perhaps they would feel a whole lot better!
The slippery slope here is when you become attached to your way and then suddenly you have an agenda.
Agendaâ€™s limit possibilities. They can make you go deaf & blind to the other person, to yourself and tend to create strong undercurrents of pressure to have themselves fulfilled.
Pressure and heat is exactly what you need for an explosion â€“ just sayinâ€™
The truth is that they need to be where they are right now â€“ at least for now. And as humans we tend to resist when our natural pace is forced.
There’ll be time for suggestions or for offering a perspective or for finding a way through that works for them (whether you agree with it or not) â€“ and that time might not be now.
When you drop your agenda, youâ€™ll be more available to notice that moment when it arises.
3. Don’t Take It Personally
Well, of course, this list would not be complete without a reference to NPA would it?
So… Lots of wise sages have advised people not to take these things personally â€“ and trust me itâ€™s good advice!
I have dedicated nearly a decade of my life to sharing the multifaceted and fundamentally non-personal nature of reality… And sometimes, especially in these situations, it comes down to this: Itâ€™s just not about you!
Of course, when someoneâ€™s deepest doo doo is being flung in your face, it can be easier said than done to not take it personally, but fortunately the human race now has The NPA Process which gives us a simple and effective way to cut through the sh*t (pun intended) and come up smelling of roses (I may have overdone and/or mixed my metaphors â€“ but you get the point!).
Iâ€™ve experienced it myself AND had amazing feedback from so many other people who have stepped out of a heated situation, taken themselves through an NPA Process and found they really CAN stop taking it personally and become freer to act from a wholesome place.
On my website (see below) you’ll find a free and simple exercise called ‘Don’t Take Them Personally’. It will show you exactly how to use The NPA Process in these situations and I highly recommend you get it.
GET THE â€œDONâ€™T TAKE THEM PERSONALLYâ€ EXERCISE
Learn how you can feel clear and centred around the people in your life who say or do things that cause you stress
This suggestion may seem hard to swallow, and it often requires us to be able to genuinely get the hang of suggestions 1, 2 & 3 – so: drop the label of negativity, drop the agenda and not take it personally – before weâ€™re able to really listen. But when you DO really listen, magic can happen.
There can be lots of â€˜fauxâ€™ listening going on, especially where an agenda is running in the background â€“ and in fact, that is not listening.
Truly listening can be miraculous, but listening in order to get a miracle â€“ well, weâ€™re back to agenda again :p
Listening without an agenda is just that. Listening. Nothing added. You might be amazed what gets said when they realise you’re really listening.
5. Listen To You
Thereâ€™s a saying that â€˜misery loves companyâ€™ which points to our very natural human longing for agreement. In the heat of their deepest pain people often seek agreement from those around them.
And when I say seek, as you know, it often comes out as demand right?
Now, Our culture is full of mixed messages in this arena.
We’re taught, for example: â€œIt is kind and loving to sympathise and support someone in their painful storiesâ€
This is something many would agree with, and itâ€™s my opinion that there IS a place for this in the bish bosh of day to day human bonding. Validation can be an important part of dialogue.
Conversely we are told â€œwhere attention goes energy flowsâ€, which in this context is kind of a rebranding of â€œdonâ€™t throw fuel on the fireâ€. In other words, if you give their negativity attention it will just get worse.
Then thereâ€™s the old chestnut: â€œIf I donâ€™t put â€™em straight theyâ€™ll never learnâ€… And sometimes a strong alternative perspective is exactly what’s needed…
The reality is, thereâ€™s no ONE approach that will be right for all situations, and you canâ€™t truly know how the other person will respond whichever path you choose. To sympathise, to challenge, to ignore, to confrontâ€¦? What to do? What to do?
All you can do is listen to you as best you can, and follow those inner prompts, knowing that they, ultimately, come from a wider awareness. Plus, this way, at least you stay with yourself.
6. Ask Yourself: Is It Kind To Me?
This inner inquiry came to me in the middle of a drawn out domestic some years ago.
Kindness has always been important to me and the question I used to ask was focused very much in the outward direction. â€œWhatâ€™s the kind thing for me to doâ€ would be translated as â€œhow can I express kindness towards themâ€œ.
What I realised though is that sometimes, my attempts at kindness would be very painful for me, and would often backfire and cause greater stress in my beloved at the time.
The thing is, I was excluding myself completely from the kindness equation.
So, on this occasion I was laying next to my wife at the time, both of us worn out from the long fight. I knew she was still mad at me and very much unresolved… and the truth is, so was I.
Then arose my usual urge to make peace… To open my heart and reconnect and I began to reach out my hand to touch her softly and comfort herâ€¦ Suddenly the words rang loudly in my head: â€œIs it kind to YOU Joel?â€
My hand stopped in itâ€™s tracks as the realisation dawned. â€œNo, it bloody well isnâ€™t kind to meâ€ and then, I realised, it wouldnâ€™t really have been kind to her either.
It would have been a false move, borne from my agenda to stop the discomfort I felt with the conflict! It would have been a lie to her and a lie to myself.
My hand withdrew and I lay in the truth, and let her be â€“ free to lay in hers. Something in me softened.
So my suggestion is: before you act to appease, to agree, to shout, to run â€“ whatever â€“ ask yourself â€œIs it kind to me?â€. If it is? Chances are itâ€™s the kindest thing you can do all round.
OK, this one is real simple. Youâ€™re gonna cock it up on numbers 1-6 at some point (and numbers 8-10 for that matter!). You just are â€“ thatâ€™s your humanity.
So give yourself a break.
Sometimes, what is, is just gonna be: â€œIâ€™m fed up with the unconscious negativity of the miserable bugger. Why wonâ€™t they just think differently like I tell â€™em AND Iâ€™ve been as kind to them as I can possibly be in spite of their mood! What about me!!!!???â€ lol
Give yourself a break. Thereâ€™s another breath coming.
8. Remove Yourself From The Situation
Sometimes youâ€™ve just gotta get out. Get away from it. This links right back to listening to and being kind to you. There are times when itâ€™s time to stay and work it through, and times when something inside says itâ€™s time to go.
This is true in a small temporary way â€“ where you just need to take yourself off for a walk, a bike ride, for a coffee or whatever… AND it can also be true in a bigger way, where itâ€™s time to leave the relationship altogether.
When you listen in and pay close attention, and are willing to be kind to you, the thousand-and-one rational thoughts that would keep you in the painful crap longer than is â€˜trueâ€™ wonâ€™t get a look in.
9. Affirm Your Willingness To Be There When They’re Ready
In relational dynamics, especially if itâ€™s that time to go take a breather (and itâ€™s not the grand finale), Iâ€™ve found that itâ€™s kinder all round if you can offer some sense of reassurance as you step away.
It may seem that the other person can neither hear you nor cares, but something inside them is listening.
So saying things like â€œIâ€™m here when youâ€™re ready, I know we can work this out, and I need to go right nowâ€ tend to tear less at the bonds between you.
This isnâ€™t only a sound approach at the times when you need to walk away for a bit, but all throughout communications at these heated times.
The more you can offer statements of intent to work it out together, to hear them, to be there: itâ€™s all good (as long as itâ€™s kind to you).
But really – donâ€™t under estimate the value of another perspective in these kind of situations. We all need a helping hand sometimes <3
One More thing…
What if YOU are the source of â€˜intense negativityâ€™?
In that case, watch this video again and see if you can recognise how thereâ€™s a part of you that needs to â€˜re-think the labelâ€™, â€˜drop the agendaâ€™ etc etc â€“ give yourself a break and Do some NPA!!
Give It Some Love
So… Perhaps you have ideas Iâ€™ve never even thought of? Maybe one of these 10 suggestions has given you an aha moment or helped you in some specific way? Maybe you have a strong opinion about one or all of these?
Please let me and others know in the comments and why not share this if youâ€™ve found it helpful
Also go visit my website: NonPersonalAwareness.com where you’ll find the free and simple exercise called ‘Don’t Take Them Personally’. Remember, it will show you exactly how to use The NPA Process in these situations and I highly recommend you get it.
[or use the link in the box below]
GET THE â€œDONâ€™T TAKE THEM PERSONALLYâ€ EXERCISE
Learn how you can feel clear and centred around the people in your life who say or do things that cause you stress
In this Musing on NPA & Life, I’m going to let you know why the story that we need to re-write our personal history in order to heal isn’t necessarily true, and how NPA can help you find your natural path to healing; whatever that may be.
The Definitive Position
There are lots of ‘stories’ flying around in the world of human transformation, positive thinking and healing that are presented as ‘the definite position’. One of the reasons I sometimes refer to myself as a ’21st Century Heretic’ is that I like to examine this new doctrine, with an intention of promoting a perspective of unlimited possibility, co-creation and ongoing evolution.
Most of these ‘definitive positions’ are taken because of an experience of things working that way. So there IS an element of truth to them.
THE Way To Heal
Let’s take our topic-du-jour – healing. It would be true to say that many people have had tremendous success in healing by addressing their issues through following this idea:
“It took root as the result of something in my past, so if I can access whatever set things up this way and change the settings to something better, then I will heal”
The journey to your past can be fun. It can give the mind a recognisable, reason based and understandable story about what caused things to be as they are. It can also help relax the mind about the changes that are be-coming. It can be juicy and it scratches the itch of ‘why?’
This can be a great thing and certainly, in some cases, it’s A good way. But the leap from A WAY to THE WAY can be a trip to limitation and, perhaps even denial of an altogether simpler way.
The reality is that people all over the world are experiencing healing in a million different ways, with most of them not necessarily linking their healing to their past, or changing their thoughts, feelings or beliefs about their ‘history’ in any way.
I like to think that this demonstrates the kindness and flexibility of The Universe in how it answers our prayers – not just for healing, but for the journey of healing that will suit us best.
NPA is just a few simple words; six simple lines. Sometimes you don’t feel a thing. Sometimes you do.
It doesn’t lead you to some place ‘not here’ that you need to get to, in order to meet an idea of what it takes to heal. For example, you are not required to go to the past if that’s not where you’re hanging out naturally. You’re not required to determine ‘how that makes you feel’ if your natural expression is not emotional. You are not required to figure out what you would have to believe in order to feel this way if you ARE experiencing emotions! NPA simplyÂ meets you where you are.
NPA has shown me time and again that spontaneous healings can just sort of happen.
And what I have seen much more often with NPA is that it works with our humanity. It honours our longing for the story of our lives. It respects our minds’ childlike need for understanding and opens the way for the most appropriate mechanism to show itself.
You could say that NPA turns on the landing lights for your dreams and prayers. It makes the path that suits you best really clear, and facilitates a nice soft landing.
Life Has Space To Answer
That might be a spontaneous healing. Or it might be that you suddenly feel inspired to have a session in another healing modality – one that uses physical touch, or one that works with your thoughts or emotions – or perhaps even one that addresses the past!
Whatever it is, I often hear that the path is made clear, automatic even and that it runs smooth. Life has space to answer, and to answer in ways that work easily, naturally & sustainably for you.
With all these conflicting definitive positions flying around which tell you with conviction what is required for you to heal can get confusing. So, it’s a wonderful thing to have NPA as A way to help your most naturalÂ healing path show itself to you. :0)
“NPA has shown me time & again that spontaneous healings can just sort of happen”Â via @JoelYoungNPA
“It’s a wonderful thing to have NPA asÂ AÂ way to help your mostÂ naturalÂ healing path show itself to you” via @JoelYoungNPA
CONTEMPLATION 1: THIS IS WHAT PERFECTION LOOKS LIKE
Perfection is not about Happy Clappy LaLa land in permanent stasis, it’s about Divine Order – everything in the Universe exactly where it’s meant to be, which is where it is, in each moment – “Reality”, as Byron Katie puts it.
For you and your experience, that may be up, it may be down; a co-ordinate within the constant motion of Life.
In any case, I invite you to contemplate the notion that this (whatever you are experiencing right now) is what perfection looks like.
CONTEMPLATION 2: STUCKNESS IS IMPOSSIBLE
Everything is Energy. Energy exists in waves. Waves are in constant motion… constant motion is not stuck-ness, even though it can appear to be so…
So contemplate the notion that: “At a quantum level, everything is in constant motion. Stuckness, fundamentally, is impossible”
CONTEMPLATION 3: YOU ARE NOT THE ACTIVE FORCE
If you follow any thought, impulse or inspiration back to itâ€™s source you will very quickly get beyond the self. In may ways that Del Amitri song â€˜Always The Last To Knowâ€™ speaks a profound truth of our personal experience.
We like to think we are in charge, in control, the decider, but there are stupendous, enormous beyond comprehension, out of this world crazy big creative forces at work. The possibility matrix accounts for the sum of the Totality of experience across the multiverses and the bottom line in each moment gets expressed through you via thought/impulse/inspiration/decision.
As Ramesh S Balsekar, one of my fave Enlightened Masterâ€™s says: â€œAlways a happening, never a doerâ€
At first this notion can seem disempowering and devastating to our inner control freak (we all have one), however this non-personal perspective soon reveals itself to be a liberation. Also, when you’re done contemplating, you can check my previous post called Bad News For Control Freaks
So, I invite you to contemplate the notion:
â€œYou are being moved, being breathed, being Â‘doneÂ’. You are not the active force; rather the receiver and expression of it.â€
Learn How You Can Make Rapid Positive Shifts…
“This video programme will walk you step by step through the core training of The NPA Process and give you what you need to get started making a difference in your life right away with NPA.”
Sit with this one, especially if your road to healing, or path to awakening finds you judging, belittling, labelling as ‘less Spiritual’ or attempting to ‘rid’ yourself of any particular experience or aspect of yourself…
Contemplate notion 4: “Your Ego & your Soul are sibling children of God, loved equally and unconditionally”
CONTEMPLATION 5: IF YOU PARENT YOURSELF…
In my many years of self-healing and working with countless clients, I noticed that most painful behaviours were born from ‘child’ consciousness’ or young identities looking for something… Love, protection, acknowledgement, understanding etc etc…
The child energy seeks parental energy… And yet we tend to “personalise” parental energy, and therefore limit it’s origin, to our parents and carers.
So if the flow of parental energy through these fine people is shaped in a way that didn’t connect with our various child energies, an unmet need is generated.
The good news is that parental energy is non-personal and can joyfully flow through you to your child energies in exquisitely precise ways.
Through this notion I was liberated from my personal history, so I invite you to contemplate…
“If you parent yourself in all the ways you wish you had been parented, then Love will run amok in your heart, where need once did”
Thereâ€™s also a more in depth blog on this subject HERE
CONTEMPLATION 6: YOUR MIND JUST OPENED…
Aligning with the forceless force that animates all experience is only a contemplation away. And the forceless force is EXPANDING the entire Universe – at a physical and quantum level, so I invite you to align with it as you contemplate the notionâ€¦
“Your mind just opened a little bit wider, your breath just got a little bit deeper & a quiet ease just crept silently into your Soul…”
CONTEMPLATION 7: BEING YOU IS THE GIFT
As we come to the end of this series of contemplations, let’s contemplate a little deeper…
Notion 7 is: “Being You is the greatest gift you can offer the Earth”
So what is ‘You’?
Who are ‘You’?
What does Being You look like?
There are lot’s of ‘standard’ spiritual answers to these questions… I am everything, I am nothing, I am a spiritual being in a human body… yada yadaâ€¦
And I would invite you to contemplate the notion WITHOUT the baggage of Spiritual knowledge…
“Being YOU is the greatest gift you can offer the Earth”
Contemplate… Ponder… Wonder…
And enjoy the presence of discovery….
I hope these notions have stirred you, moved you, touched you or awakened something in you – even if it’s confirmation of your own perspective… And if they have please pay it forward and share this blog <3
Contemplate the question ‘Who am I?’Â WITHOUTÂ the baggage of Spiritual knowledge (via @JoelYoungNPA)
Contemplate, Ponder, Wonder… and enjoy the presence of discovery…. (via @JoelYoungNPA)
“Being YOU is the greatest gift you can offer the Earth” @JoelYoungNPA #quote
“Aligning with the forceless force that animates all experience is only a contemplation away”Â @JoelYoungNPA #quote
A forceless force is EXPANDING the entire Universe at a physical and quantum level; I invite you to align with it (viaÂ @JoelYoungNPA)
“Most painful behaviours are born from ‘child’ consciousness’ or young identities looking for something”Â @JoelYoungNPA #quote
“The child energy seeks parental energy. But we personalise the energy & limit it’s origin to our parents and carers” @JoelYoungNPA #quote
“Your Ego & your Soul are sibling children of God, loved equally and unconditionally”Â @JoelYoungNPA #quote
In may ways that Del Amitri song â€˜Always The Last To Knowâ€™ speaks a profound truth of our personal experience :0)Â (viaÂ @JoelYoungNPA)
We like to think we are in charge, in control, the decider, but grand energies prior to consciousness are more causal than our personal choices
“The possibility matrix accounts for the sum of the Totality of experience & expresses it as impulse/inspiration/decision” via @JoelYoungNPA
â€œAlways a happening, never a doerâ€Â Ramesh S BalsekarÂ (viaÂ @JoelYoungNPA)
“At a quantum level, everything is in constant motion. Stuckness, fundamentally, is impossible”Â @JoelYoungNPA #quote
“Perfection is not about Happy Clappy LaLa Land in a permanent positively biased stasis, it’s about Divine Order”Â @JoelYoungNPA #quote
“Meeting any perspective as a notion (& all we have are notions about the mystery) invites an opening without agenda”Â @JoelYoungNPA #quote
“So much power becomes available as you loosen the grip of knowing and control”Â @JoelYoungNPA #quote #wisdom
The air is alive with World Cup fever this month. It’s something that comes around like clockwork, fills the participant nations with high emotion and has the potential to deliver the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.
How, thought I, could I possibly relate this footie-phenomena to the joys of a non-personal perspective in a personal world?
Well, if you’ll pardon the pun, it turns out that it offers us a golden opportunity for self reflection and a shot at deeper freedom…
The other day I caught one of those ‘count down’ TV programmes, the World Cup Top 100 something-or-others, and what I noticed is that we hold distinct national ‘identities’, which directly relate to ‘what we are like’ in the World Cup.
For example – England are rubbish at penalties, Irish fans expect nothing but have the best time, Cameroon are likeable rogues, Germany are efficient and effective; always in contention etc etc.
It’sÂ intriguing that the identification each nation has taken on in relation to their World Cup experience, seems to play itself out again and again. The thing is, the same mechanism is operating in our individual lives; we each have our own ‘World Cup’ event, we have assumed an identity in relation to it, and we play out this identification as our habituated track through the event. With a sigh we are left wondering why it happened pretty much the way it always does.
Of course, if you’re a Brazil, an Argentina or a Germany in relation to your personal World Cup, then chances are you feel pretty happy with how things pan out.
However if you’re an England and find yourself constantly disappointed and longing for the glory days; or if you’re a USA who’s only really interested when you’re winning and dismissive of the whole thing when you’re not; or if you’re a Scotland thatÂ ends up with the opportunity to play much less than you feel you deserve and often end up on the sidelines gaining hollow satisfaction from seeing your ‘only slightly more talented’ sibling country falling flat on their faces again… well then, perhaps, it’s time to break the pattern and have a different experience..?
The Road To Your World Cup Heaven
So, here’s your chance for some self-inquiry. I could call it steps 1-4, but it’s oh-so-much more fun to continue the metaphor:
You’ve gotta be in it to win it, so firstly you’ll haveÂ to get through the qualifying stages. For that you’re going to need to ask yourself what your ‘World Cup’ situation is? Then to survive the group stages you’ll need to knowÂ who you are being in relation to that situation?
Next it’s knock-out time and it’ll take some fancy footwork toÂ uncover which key aspects you’ll need to leverage, to bring more freedom and ease to the situation. Pull all of this off, and you’ll make The Final, where you can use a little NPA (the ‘Pele’ of tools for this kind of thing) and score the winning goal that canÂ reset who you know yourself to be!
Defining Your â€˜World Cupâ€™ Situation
To help get you qualified for the main event, here’s some qualities that define the World Cup and which you can use metaphorically to look at the defining your personal World Cup event:
World Cup Aspects Defined:
Itâ€™s a sport, so there are winners and losers, with a series of events and a distinct outcome that defines that (add drama to taste)!
It is noteworthy on the â€˜sportingâ€™ calendar!
It happens regularly and repeatedly
Thereâ€™s a heavy investment of National identity in it. Lots of fire, passion and potential misery! (even though itâ€™s â€˜onlyâ€™ a sport)
So, to find the World Cup in your life, contemplate those aspects and ponder where this kind of pattern plays out in your life. If you want to sit back and be lead by the hand on this, skip to the bonus resources section and share the blog – then you’ll have access to a handy bendy audio that will help find your personal World Cup.
Who Are You In Relation To That Situation?
Once you’ve got a specific situation in mind it’s time to take an objective look at how it plays out. Imagine that it’s not you, not your family, not your life – just a TV drama. Ask yourself:
How does it usually play out?
What role does my character play throughout? (Think in terms of archetype, stereotypes or symbolically)
What role does my character end up in?
What judgements are my character making?
Is there a clear emotional pathway and/or a switch point? (eg. a give up point, an explosion point, an impatience-leads-to-carelessness point)
Just watch the movie and contemplate these questions, getting a general sense of the role you play and how that pattern shows up.
A Couple Of Examples
Here’s a couple of examples to give you the idea…
The Children’s Clear Up Challenge
Your ‘World Cup’ event might be asking your kids to tidy their rooms? You notice you leave the asking for as long as possible – perhaps its a 4 week cycle. You seem uncharacteristically het up about it and the kids throw all kind of strops. You want to be ‘strong Mum/Dad’ but the tears and tantrums always seem to take the juice from the legs. You hit the crossbar, miss the goal – it never quite seems to go the way you want it. When it comes to this – you just seem to play out the role of the ‘ineffective parent’, and you feel disproportionately crushed.
The Financial Ex-Factor
It’s that time again when you need to ask your ex-husband for more money for the kids. It’s always more of a drama than other conversations you have with him. You find yourself getting nervous before you call him, distrustful thoughts enter your mind, then angry thoughts – you know you play your best game when you’re centred, but you can’t help feeling meek. You fight the feeling and get angry with yourself – you know you’ve a perfect right to ask. Then you call. Sometimes he’s just fine and agrees and what a huge relief. But sometimes there’s a slight hesitation from him, a hint of resistance and you explode – you accuse him of sleight of hand with the finances, you’ve slipped into the role of ‘hysterical ex-wife’, a ‘victim’ – Â it’s an own goal – you’re devastated and bewildered… you don’t even think that stuff… ouch.
And fella’s on the other side of this one – you know there’s equally complex emotions and identities at play here for you too! â™¥
Shifting Identities with NPA
NPA is awesome for shifting identities. The NPA vernacular for them is ‘cookie cutters’ and they come in all shapes and sizes. Simply having an awareness of what you’re up to and the roles you fall into in your personal World Cup is an empowering thing and awareness alone for sure can get things moving. However, super charging with non-personal awareness has a way of releasing these traditionally sticky identities at the speed of light!
So now you’ve got the situation nicely defined, you can apply some NPA, and here’s some simple ways to do that:
4 Steps For Experienced NPA-ers:
1) Use a spew from the set up questions and contemplations in section 1 (the qualifying stage) to get a situational cookie cutter. Self elicit in your preferred way and chooseÂ the most animated cookie cutter. 2) Ask yourself: In relation to [Situational CC], who or what are you being? 3) Spew and elicit the most animated cookie cutter(s) 4) Run those cookie cutters through the NPA Process.
Simple Instructions For Newbies & Beginner NPA-ers:
Simply share this article via the bonus box and you will get access to a 6 min video that will take you through how to do the process. There will also be an outline of the NPA Process words themselves. There’s a ‘gap’ in the process where you insert the cookie cutter you are using.
If you’re a newbie simply use whatever role or roles you came up with that you play as your ‘cookie cutter’.
So in the examples I gave above, the cookie cutter to use for The Children’s Clear Up Challenge would be [ineffective parent]. And for The Financial Ex-Factor, there are two: [hysterical ex-wife] & [victim], requiring two processes. Obviously, it’s going to be whatever role you are seeing yourself in, not the examples. Just put that in the process, say the 6 lines, including those words out loud and see what happens.
If you want to understand all those ‘Experienced NPA-ers’ terms and do really graceful NPA, you’ll need to get some training via our comprehensive audio programmeNPA: The Bridgeor by attending anEvent. You can also get direct assistance from me, and make a huge difference in your lifeHERE.
Bonus Resources For Sharing
I’d love you to share this article on your social networks, and doing so will give you instant access to the NPA Basic Training video, The NPA Process words AND a guided elicitation to help you through steps 1 & 2 described above.
NPA Basic Training
Words For The NPA Process
The NPA Process (c) Joel Young 2007 onwards
Your Guided Elicitation
Hit play and enjoy!
Hi, this is Joel Young, the creator & custodian of NPA. Thanks for sharing the blog. This audio will give you a helping hand to define aÂ situation in life which is your personal world cup. Make sure you’re in a safe place to do this – neither driving nor using heavy machinery. So let’s begin.
Get yourself comfortable and take a deep breath, sigh it out… and as you relax, and allow yourself to contemplate the movie of your day to day life, knowing that the answer will find you, you might wonder what situation, or set of events seems to happen over and over in the same way?
The situation that pops effortlessly into your conscious awareness now, will be one that stands out as somehow important to you. Even though it might seem trivial in the scheme of things, the outcome in this situation inspires a lot of passion â€“ it matters somehow â€“ even if you donâ€™t know why? And it might be something you get very heated about?
Perhaps you notice, that if or when the outcome goes your way â€“ you feel elated. However – if or when the outcome doesn’t go your way â€“ you feel incredibly deflated, or perhaps even furious! You may have noticed that each time this situation occurs, it plays out in much the same way, with perhaps a few minor deviations from the norm?
So, as you relax and allow yourself to contemplate the movie of your day to day life â€“ what situation is coming into your awareness? Be light and open – it’s not an exact science, and doesn’t have to tick every box – just trust that you can work with whatever situation is showing up, or the one you simply decide to pick… When you’re ready, make a note of the situation, a simple reference.
OK, so let’s take it to the next step…
With that specific situation in mind you can now take an objective look at how it plays out. Watch it play out on a screen. Imagine that it’s not you, not your family, not your life – just a TV drama and as it plays out, contemplate what role your character plays throughout. Let the label for the role find you – it can just pop into your mind. It might come as anÂ archetype, like victim, martyr or rebel. It might come as a stereotype like geek, bread winner, drama queen, bully or perhaps as a judgement like dork, big kid, idiot, pathetic person… just be open and trust whatever pops in. Write it down – for newbies – that’s your cookie cutter!
Once you’ve run it through the process, let me know what you experience in the comments and be sure to visit our main site at NonPersonalAwareness.com
Artist credit: World Cup Selfie by Emma Allen – http://www.emmaallen.org/gallery/
We hold distinct national ‘identities’, which directly relate to ‘what we are like’ in the World Cup. via @JoelYoungNPA
It’s intriguing that the identification that nations take on in relation to the World Cup, play themselves out repeatedly. via @JoelYoungNPA
In our individual lives; we each have our own ‘World Cup’ event.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
NPA is The ‘Pele’ of transformational tools :0) Â via @JoelYoungNPA
Score the winning goal that can reset who you know yourself to be! via @JoelYoungNPA
NPA is awesome for shifting identities. via @JoelYoungNPA
Having an awareness of what you’re up to and the roles you fall into is an empowering thing. via @JoelYoungNPA
Non-personal awareness has a way of releasing these traditionally sticky identities at the speed of light! via @JoelYoungNPA
Trust that you can work with whatever situation is showing up. via @JoelYoungNPA
In this Musing on NPA & Life I’m going to suggest that you noticeÂ a place in you where you have no need of life to acquiesce to your childish demands for more than you have.
In plain English that means I’m going to ask you to stop pandering to (or fighting) your inner brat. After all, s/he’s a brat.
So, let’s get this out of the way. We all have one.
It wants more. More than you have, more than you need, more…. just because more is better, and even if it isn’t better, at least it’s more, More, MORE!!!
So how does one handle this often incessant demand without suppressing or invalidating this part of you?
A Little Clarity Please…
Just to be clear – I am NOT saying ‘have no childish demands’. Childish demands come and go, as do all the colours of human experience.
My suggestion is that you have no NEED of LIFE to acquiesce to them, no matter how diligently you pray, affirm, clear out blocks, work your ass off, vision board etc etc… you get the gist.
This is, of course, only if you are interested in Truth and Peace.
And, just to be clear again – I am NOT saying donâ€™t pray, affirm, clear out blocks, work your ass off, vision board etc etc… what you are moved to do is always perfection in the widest context.
What I AM pointing to here is a discernment of Truth, from a Spiritual perspective, and a further re-alignment of ‘Being’ from ‘Dualistic Struggle’ to ‘Wholeness’
The History Of TheÂ ConsciousÂ Brat
In the latter part of last century, especially in the awakening movement, we nurtured the demanding child of our psyches and drilled ourselves on the belief in personal power.
To a degree this may have been the quenching of a natural thirst to re-integrate the personal perspective into the Whole â€“ a pendulum swing from outer focused authoritarianism and the exclusion of self-motivation. In the context of balance and integration, clearly this was an authentic act of kindness to The Human.
However, as one foot falls and has it’s moment of relevancy on the path, the other foot inevitably comes into consideration.
How To Love Your Inner Brat Wholesomely
Non-Personal Awareness on many levels is a vehicle through which you can engage in a simple inquiry to the source of â€˜youâ€™ and the experience of Self. Many are surprised at what they find; the realisation of Self as effect rather than cause. But ultimately there is relief, a resting and a natural willingness to Be.
From the highest personal perspective, it’s a matter of discernment. Part of mastering the NPA Process, and understanding Non-Personal Awareness is about becoming highly skilled at noticing ‘animation’.
Animation is my word for ‘what is already being moved by God/Grace/The Universe. It’s the ‘Energy of the moment’ and as you come to know this, you are able to let go of formulas and discern the ‘highest & best’ in the context of the present.
As you practice non-personal awareness, the personality relaxes it’s game of control and rests Gracefully in the chaotic, ordered, intelligent, beauty of Life. An invitation to notice the longings, wants and childish demands. To notice actions happening that appear to support those longings, wants and childish demands. To notice actions happening that appear to NOT support those longings, wants and childish demands. And to notice that, in any case, Life is what it is.
I have what I have. I will always have what I have. And I have no need of life to acquiesce to my childish demands for more than I have.
And just to leave your personality with a little reassurance right now; that tends to feel freakin’ awesome 😀
Childish demands come and go, as do all the colours of human experience. via @JoelYoungNPA
what you are moved to do is always perfection in the widest context.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
As one foot falls and has it’s moment of relevancy on the path, the other foot inevitably comes into consideration.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
engage in a simple inquiry to the source of â€˜youâ€™ and the experience of Self.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
Â let go of formulas and discern the ‘highest & best’ in the context of the present.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
As you practice non-personal awareness, the personality relaxes it’s game of control.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
Notice that, in any case, Life is what it is.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
I have what I have. I will always have what I have.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
I have no need of life to acquiesce to my childish demands for more than I have.Â via @JoelYoungNPA