10 Ways To Deal With Intense Negativity

VIDEO TRANSCRIPT:

10 Ways To Deal With Intense NegativityHave you ever been in a situation where the people around you are in an absolute stink? A prolonged state of ‘negativity’ where it seems like nothing you say or do, no matter how well intentioned, can encouraged them to come back into their heart?

My name is Joel Young and I’m the creator
of The NPA Process, a beautifully simple way to stop taking things personally.

This video addresses the issue of dealing with intense negativity in terms of basic human interaction. It comes in the understanding that human relations are often where our deepest crap hits the proverbial fan, rarely stopping to consider the sanitised suggestions proffered by our more enlightened aspects.

I’ve experienced this many many times in my life and I’ve learned some valuable lessons along the way.

I’m not generally big on formulas, but it IS nice to have some options.

So here’s a list of 10 things I’d like to share with you, that I’ve found helpful when I’m dealing with intense negativity. If you can assimilate even one of them in the heat of the moment, you’ll be doing yourself (and the other person) a big favour.

So let’s get started…

1. Re-Think The Label ‘Negativity’

When you label someones expressions as ‘negative’ you enter dangerous territory.

Now, It’s not that I’m saying there’s anything intrinsically bad or wrong with the term negativity, I’m simply suggesting you examine what you are really saying when you use it, and how that impacts your experience: your thoughts, feelings and behaviours.

I could say a LOT about this, but the main point I want to highlight is that in the context of heated interactions: Watch out for the tendency to fall into the trap of using the term ‘negativity’ as one of the following: a judgement, a defence, an attack from a position of superior enlightenment, to assert yourself as a victim, to negate their perspective or deny their experience.

All of those will cause YOU pain and I’m encouraging you to be as aware as possible about how YOUR label for THEIR experience impacts YOUR experience.

2. Drop Your Agenda

When we’re uncomfortable with someone else’s expression, it’s very easy to believe the notion that they ought to be different than they are – after all, YOU can see that they would be much happier if they only followed your helpful advice and, of course, it would certainly be easier for you!

Again, I’m not saying that your helpful insights aren’t awesome, and if they did do what’s bleedin’ obvious to you, perhaps they would feel a whole lot better!

The slippery slope here is when you become attached to your way and then suddenly you have an agenda.

Agenda’s limit possibilities. They can make you go deaf & blind to the other person, to yourself and tend to create strong undercurrents of pressure to have themselves fulfilled.

Pressure and heat is exactly what you need for an explosion – just sayin’

The truth is that they need to be where they are right now – at least for now. And as humans we tend to resist when our natural pace is forced.

There’ll be time for suggestions or for offering a perspective or for finding a way through that works for them (whether you agree with it or not) – and that time might not be now.

When you drop your agenda, you’ll be more available to notice that moment when it arises.

NPA: Non-Personal Awareness (logo)3. Don’t Take It Personally

Well, of course, this list would not be complete without a reference to NPA would it?

So… Lots of wise sages have advised people not to take these things personally – and trust me it’s good advice!

I have dedicated nearly a decade of my life to sharing the multifaceted and fundamentally non-personal nature of reality… And sometimes, especially in these situations, it comes down to this: It’s just not about you!

Of course, when someone’s deepest doo doo is being flung in your face, it can be easier said than done to not take it personally, but fortunately the human race now has The NPA Process which gives us a simple and effective way to cut through the sh*t (pun intended) and come up smelling of roses (I may have overdone and/or mixed my metaphors – but you get the point!).

I’ve experienced it myself AND had amazing feedback from so many other people who have stepped out of a heated situation, taken themselves through an NPA Process and found they really CAN stop taking it personally and become freer to act from a wholesome place.

On my website (see below) you’ll find a free and simple exercise called ‘Don’t Take Them Personally’. It will show you exactly how to use The NPA Process in these situations and I highly recommend you get it.

GET THE “DON’T TAKE THEM PERSONALLY” EXERCISE

Learn how you can feel clear and centred around the people in your life who say or do things that cause you stress

Click here to get your free exercise

4. Listen To Them

This suggestion may seem hard to swallow, and it often requires us to be able to genuinely get the hang of suggestions 1, 2 & 3 – so: drop the label of negativity, drop the agenda and not take it personally – before we’re able to really listen. But when you DO really listen, magic can happen.

There can be lots of ‘faux’ listening going on, especially where an agenda is running in the background – and in fact, that is not listening.

Truly listening can be miraculous, but listening in order to get a miracle – well, we’re back to agenda again :p

Listening without an agenda is just that. Listening. Nothing added. You might be amazed what gets said when they realise you’re really listening.

5. Listen To You

There’s a saying that ‘misery loves company’ which points to our very natural human longing for agreement. In the heat of their deepest pain people often seek agreement from those around them.

And when I say seek, as you know, it often comes out as demand right?

Now, Our culture is full of mixed messages in this arena.

We’re taught, for example:
“It is kind and loving to sympathise and support someone in their painful stories”

This is something many would agree with, and it’s my opinion that there IS a place for this in the bish bosh of day to day human bonding. Validation can be an important part of dialogue.

Conversely we are told “where attention goes energy flows”, which in this context is kind of a rebranding of “don’t throw fuel on the fire”. In other words, if you give their negativity attention it will just get worse.

Then there’s the old chestnut: “If I don’t put ’em straight they’ll never learn”… And sometimes a strong alternative perspective is exactly what’s needed…

The reality is, there’s no ONE approach that will be right for all situations, and you can’t truly know how the other person will respond whichever path you choose. To sympathise, to challenge, to ignore, to confront…? What to do? What to do?

All you can do is listen to you as best you can, and follow those inner prompts, knowing that they, ultimately, come from a wider awareness. Plus, this way, at least you stay with yourself.

6. Ask Yourself: Is It Kind To Me?

Be Kind To You

This inner inquiry came to me in the middle of a drawn out domestic some years ago.

Kindness has always been important to me and the question I used to ask was focused very much in the outward direction. “What’s the kind thing for me to do” would be translated as “how can I express kindness towards them“.

What I realised though is that sometimes, my attempts at kindness would be very painful for me, and would often backfire and cause greater stress in my beloved at the time.

The thing is, I was excluding myself completely from the kindness equation.

So, on this occasion I was laying next to my wife at the time, both of us worn out from the long fight. I knew she was still mad at me and very much unresolved… and the truth is, so was I.

Then arose my usual urge to make peace… To open my heart and reconnect and I began to reach out my hand to touch her softly and comfort her… Suddenly the words rang loudly in my head: “Is it kind to YOU Joel?”

My hand stopped in it’s tracks as the realisation dawned. “No, it bloody well isn’t kind to me” and then, I realised, it wouldn’t really have been kind to her either.

It would have been a false move, borne from my agenda to stop the discomfort I felt with the conflict! It would have been a lie to her and a lie to myself.

My hand withdrew and I lay in the truth, and let her be – free to lay in hers. Something in me softened.

So my suggestion is: before you act to appease, to agree, to shout, to run – whatever – ask yourself “Is it kind to me?”. If it is? Chances are it’s the kindest thing you can do all round.

7. Give Yourself A Break

OK, this one is real simple. You’re gonna cock it up on numbers 1-6 at some point (and numbers 8-10 for that matter!). You just are – that’s your humanity.

So give yourself a break.

Sometimes, what is, is just gonna be: “I’m fed up with the unconscious negativity of the miserable bugger. Why won’t they just think differently like I tell ’em AND I’ve been as kind to them as I can possibly be in spite of their mood! What about me!!!!???” lol

Give yourself a break. There’s another breath coming.

8. Remove Yourself From The Situation

Sometimes you’ve just gotta get out. Get away from it. This links right back to listening to and being kind to you. There are times when it’s time to stay and work it through, and times when something inside says it’s time to go.

This is true in a small temporary way – where you just need to take yourself off for a walk, a bike ride, for a coffee or whatever… AND it can also be true in a bigger way, where it’s time to leave the relationship altogether.

When you listen in and pay close attention, and are willing to be kind to you, the thousand-and-one rational thoughts that would keep you in the painful crap longer than is ‘true’ won’t get a look in.

9. Affirm Your Willingness To Be There When They’re Ready

In relational dynamics, especially if it’s that time to go take a breather (and it’s not the grand finale), I’ve found that it’s kinder all round if you can offer some sense of reassurance as you step away.

It may seem that the other person can neither hear you nor cares, but something inside them is listening.

So saying things like “I’m here when you’re ready, I know we can work this out, and I need to go right now” tend to tear less at the bonds between you.

This isn’t only a sound approach at the times when you need to walk away for a bit, but all throughout communications at these heated times.

The more you can offer statements of intent to work it out together, to hear them, to be there: it’s all good (as long as it’s kind to you).

10. Get Help For You

Finally, it’s really important to get support for YOU – especially if you’re dealing with a prolonged situation.

So make sure you reach out and talk to a friend, pray to whomever you pray (and be conversational about it) or get some professional help with someone like me 😉

But really – don’t under estimate the value of another perspective in these kind of situations. We all need a helping hand sometimes <3

One More thing…

What if YOU are the source of ‘intense negativity’?

In that case, watch this video again and see if you can recognise how there’s a part of you that needs to ‘re-think the label’, ‘drop the agenda’ etc etc – give yourself a break and Do some NPA!!

Give It Some Love

So… Perhaps you have ideas I’ve never even thought of? Maybe one of these 10 suggestions has given you an aha moment or helped you in some specific way? Maybe you have a strong opinion about one or all of these?

Please let me and others know in the comments and why not share this if you’ve found it helpful

Also go visit my website: NonPersonalAwareness.com where you’ll find the free and simple exercise called ‘Don’t Take Them Personally’. Remember, it will show you exactly how to use The NPA Process in these situations and I highly recommend you get it.
[or use the link in the box below]

GET THE “DON’T TAKE THEM PERSONALLY” EXERCISE

Learn how you can feel clear and centred around the people in your life who say or do things that cause you stress

Click here to get your free exercise

Thanks for spending this precious time with me and I’ll see you soon!

[JY-General-Bio]

Tweetables

“Ask yourself “Is it kind to me?” If it is? Chances are it’s the kindest thing you can do all round” via @JoelYoungNPA

“Don’t under estimate the value of another perspective. We all need a helping hand sometimes” via @JoelYoungNPA

“Have you excluded yourself completely from the kindness equation?” via @JoelYoungNPA

“In the heat of their deepest doo doo people often seek agreement from those around them” via @JoelYoungNPA

“The reality is, there’s no ‘one’ approach that will be right for all situations” via @JoelYoungNPA

“Listening without an agenda is just that. Listening. Nothing added.” via @JoelYoungNPA

7 Effortless Contemplations To Raise Your Vibration

7 Effortless Comtemplations To Raise Your VibrationIn this Musing on NPA & Life, I am inviting you to contemplate some non-personal notions & see where that takes you…

The thing about simply contemplating, and meeting any perspective as a notion (and folks – all we have are notions about the mystery) is that it invites an opening without agenda.

Agendaless-ness is at the heart of NPA and its a beautiful paradox that so much power becomes available as you loosen the grip of knowing and control, and allow the discovery to begin.

So contemplate these 7 notions i.e. read one, take a deep breath & close your eyes, ponder it, try it on for size and see what arises…

Just 1 minute on each will have a profound impact on your vibe… (longer would be awesome!) – it’s your gift to yourself ♥

CONTEMPLATION 1: THIS IS WHAT PERFECTION LOOKS LIKE

 

Notion 1 - Perfection

Perfection is not about Happy Clappy LaLa land in permanent stasis, it’s about Divine Order – everything in the Universe exactly where it’s meant to be, which is where it is, in each moment – “Reality”, as Byron Katie puts it.

For you and your experience, that may be up, it may be down; a co-ordinate within the constant motion of Life.

In any case, I invite you to contemplate the notion that this (whatever you are experiencing right now) is what perfection looks like.

CONTEMPLATION 2: STUCKNESS IS IMPOSSIBLE

 

Notion 2 - Stuckness is Impossible

Everything is Energy. Energy exists in waves. Waves are in constant motion… constant motion is not stuck-ness, even though it can appear to be so…

So contemplate the notion that: “At a quantum level, everything is in constant motion. Stuckness, fundamentally, is impossible”

CONTEMPLATION 3: YOU ARE NOT THE ACTIVE FORCE

 

Notion 3 - Being Breathed

If you follow any thought, impulse or inspiration back to it’s source you will very quickly get beyond the self. In may ways that Del Amitri song ‘Always The Last To Know’ speaks a profound truth of our personal experience.

We like to think we are in charge, in control, the decider, but there are stupendous, enormous beyond comprehension, out of this world crazy big creative forces at work. The possibility matrix accounts for the sum of the Totality of experience across the multiverses and the bottom line in each moment gets expressed through you via thought/impulse/inspiration/decision.

As Ramesh S Balsekar, one of my fave Enlightened Master’s says: “Always a happening, never a doer”

At first this notion can seem disempowering and devastating to our inner control freak (we all have one), however this non-personal perspective soon reveals itself to be a liberation. Also, when you’re done contemplating, you can check my previous post called Bad News For Control Freaks

So, I invite you to contemplate the notion:

“You are being moved, being breathed, being ‘done’. You are not the active force; rather the receiver and expression of it.”

Learn How You Can Make Rapid Positive Shifts…

NPA Basic Training - Start Here“This video programme will walk you step by step through the core training of The NPA Process and give you what you need to get started making a difference in your life right away with NPA.”

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

CONTEMPLATION 4: CHILDREN OF GOD

 

Notion 4 - Children of God

Sit with this one, especially if your road to healing, or path to awakening finds you judging, belittling, labelling as ‘less Spiritual’ or attempting to ‘rid’ yourself of any particular experience or aspect of yourself…

Contemplate notion 4: “Your Ego & your Soul are sibling children of God, loved equally and unconditionally”

CONTEMPLATION 5: IF YOU PARENT YOURSELF…

 

Notion 5 - Parent Yourself

In my many years of self-healing and working with countless clients, I noticed that most painful behaviours were born from ‘child’ consciousness’ or young identities looking for something… Love, protection, acknowledgement, understanding etc etc…

The child energy seeks parental energy… And yet we tend to “personalise” parental energy, and therefore limit it’s origin, to our parents and carers.

So if the flow of parental energy through these fine people is shaped in a way that didn’t connect with our various child energies, an unmet need is generated.

The good news is that parental energy is non-personal and can joyfully flow through you to your child energies in exquisitely precise ways.

Through this notion I was liberated from my personal history, so I invite you to contemplate…

“If you parent yourself in all the ways you wish you had been parented, then Love will run amok in your heart, where need once did”

There’s also a more in depth blog on this subject HERE

CONTEMPLATION 6: YOUR MIND JUST OPENED…

 

Notion 6 - Open Wider

Aligning with the forceless force that animates all experience is only a contemplation away. And the forceless force is EXPANDING the entire Universe – at a physical and quantum level, so I invite you to align with it as you contemplate the notion…

“Your mind just opened a little bit wider, your breath just got a little bit deeper & a quiet ease just crept silently into your Soul…”

CONTEMPLATION 7: BEING YOU IS THE GIFT

 

Notion 7 - Being You is the Gift

As we come to the end of this series of contemplations, let’s contemplate a little deeper…

Notion 7 is: “Being You is the greatest gift you can offer the Earth”

So what is ‘You’?
Who are ‘You’?
What does Being You look like?

There are lot’s of ‘standard’ spiritual answers to these questions… I am everything, I am nothing, I am a spiritual being in a human body… yada yada…

And I would invite you to contemplate the notion WITHOUT the baggage of Spiritual knowledge…

“Being YOU is the greatest gift you can offer the Earth”

Contemplate… Ponder… Wonder…
And enjoy the presence of discovery….

——-

I hope these notions have stirred you, moved you, touched you or awakened something in you – even if it’s confirmation of your own perspective… And if they have please pay it forward and share this blog <3

[JY-General-Bio]

Tweetables

Contemplate the question ‘Who am I?’ WITHOUT the baggage of Spiritual knowledge (via @JoelYoungNPA)

Contemplate, Ponder, Wonder… and enjoy the presence of discovery…. (via @JoelYoungNPA)

“Being YOU is the greatest gift you can offer the Earth” @JoelYoungNPA #quote

“Aligning with the forceless force that animates all experience is only a contemplation away” @JoelYoungNPA #quote

A forceless force is EXPANDING the entire Universe at a physical and quantum level; I invite you to align with it (via @JoelYoungNPA)

“Most painful behaviours are born from ‘child’ consciousness’ or young identities looking for something” @JoelYoungNPA #quote

“The child energy seeks parental energy. But we personalise the energy & limit it’s origin to our parents and carers” @JoelYoungNPA #quote

“Your Ego & your Soul are sibling children of God, loved equally and unconditionally” @JoelYoungNPA #quote

In may ways that Del Amitri song ‘Always The Last To Know’ speaks a profound truth of our personal experience :0) (via @JoelYoungNPA)

We like to think we are in charge, in control, the decider, but grand energies prior to consciousness are more causal than our personal choices

“The possibility matrix accounts for the sum of the Totality of experience & expresses it as impulse/inspiration/decision” via @JoelYoungNPA

“Always a happening, never a doer” Ramesh S Balsekar (via @JoelYoungNPA)

“At a quantum level, everything is in constant motion. Stuckness, fundamentally, is impossible” @JoelYoungNPA #quote

“Perfection is not about Happy Clappy LaLa Land in a permanent positively biased stasis, it’s about Divine Order” @JoelYoungNPA #quote

“Meeting any perspective as a notion (& all we have are notions about the mystery) invites an opening without agenda” @JoelYoungNPA #quote

“So much power becomes available as you loosen the grip of knowing and control” @JoelYoungNPA #quote #wisdom

Does Money Matter?

Does Money Matter?This post looks deeper at the thorny area of wealth, money and abundance. It hopes to help you hack through the prickly undergrowth and awaken the sleeping beauty within…

Inspiration

I’m always grateful for comments. I find they inspire me, and my responses are as much a discovery for me as I hope they are for the commenter! My recent postWant Wealth? Get Connected To What Truly Matterselicited a comment from Sara that held questions. As I commented back it took me deeper into the topic. I realised there was a LOT to say and that this response actually merited a post all it’s own. You could think of this post as a ‘Part 2’ and I strongly recommend you read the previous post as a ‘Part 1’ as it will give you a context for what comes below.

Sara’s Comment & Questions

“I’m confused. Are you talking about wealth as a connection to/with abundance or to/with monetary wealth? Both ‘matter’ for more or less everyone yet, as you clearly state, the lack of the later (money) might show us that we don’t value it as much as other aspects of our lives. How so? Given that the vast majority of people live such monetised lives, how come materialising monetary wealth is so darn difficult? Thanks for a thought/comment-provoking read.”

My Response

Hi Sara, Thanks so much for your comment and questions. I LOVE that you found it thought provoking and boy, is it easy to get confused on this one. I’ll give it a shot and answer your questions as best I can from my perspective…

Q: “Are you talking about wealth as a connection to/with abundance or to/with monetary wealth?”

I would say I am inviting people to investigate. Firstly their relationship between them, and then if their story meets the reality, which naturally leads to your second question…

Q: “Given that the vast majority of people live such monetised lives, how come materialising monetary wealth is so darn difficult?”

Monetary Wealth: Easy Peasy or Herculean Effort?

Here’s what I’ve noticed…

For some people, monetary wealth is easy peasy. It has nothing to do with ‘their work being their passion’, ‘them following their dream’ etc etc – it’s just that for them it shows up.

For others, they can do all the ‘right things’, follow their dream etc etc. but when they look at their balance sheet and tell themselves ‘I have to make money’ it all starts to feel like a total grind. Their Herculean efforts in pursuit of the money are largely ineffective. The fact is, when their focus shifts to the money, somewhere inside they die a little… OK, I’m being melodramatic here, but sometimes that’s how it feels, right?

So if you’re in situation 1, money truly matters to you! You love it without issue; without conflict. It’s not necessarily attached to a particular task, purpose or feeling (though it could be); it’s just the neutral truth. In NPA terms we would say that money is a primary active energy within your field of awareness. In simple terms, money truly matters to you so it materialises for you readily.

If you’re more in the realm of situation 2, the neutral truth is that, on balance, money doesn’t truly matter to you. Money is NOT a primary active energy within your field of awareness. Perhaps it’s secondary or tertiary, but it’s not the first point of materialisation and not directly connected to your natural stream of abundance.

But that switch of focus from what truly matters to you, to ‘money’ is where the suffering, stalling and struggle begins. It’s like driving a train alongside the railway track rather than on it; it’s highly inefficient, bumpy, fraught with danger and not very clever.

The difficulty for you in this case, is that the modern cultural mythology and the structures built around that, bathe you daily in the idea that money matters most, or at least more than it actually does to you. Your tendancy is probably to buy into that perspective, and disconnect from your local experience and perspective.

The challenge then is to buck the mythology and trust that money matters enough that it will materialise in support of what truly matters, where money is required to facilitate that.

The self inquiry suggested in the previous blog: Want Wealth? Get Connected To What Truly Matters (as I’m sure you’re aware) is a starting point.

Get Your Train Back On The Tracks

My invitation is to get your train back on the tracks, and here’s how:

STEP 1: Get real about what truly matters, discover the huge wealth of it that you already have and appreciate your natural abundance.

STEP 2: Come to peace with your relationship to monetary wealth as it truly is right now and understand where it sits in the landscape of who you experience yourself to be.

STEP 3: Allow these relationships to evolve in a way that keeps you as connected as possible to; your point of materialisation, your sense of abundance and any newly clarified intentions, in a sustainable way going forward.

Help!!

So now I’ve written all this, I realise two things.

Firstly, that a lot of people could probably use help with those three steps.

Secondly that I can’t fully claim to have it all down myself. BUT what I DO know, is what truly matters to me. And what matters to me is finding creative ways to help myself and others live a kinder, easier and more fulfilling life. I find this effortless and there’s a wealth of it in my life. Furthermore, I realise that NPA, it’s perspectives and the creative ways I’ve come to use it is a perfect vehicle through which these inquiries can be explored.

Wanna Take A Ride?Wanna Take A Ride?

With that in mind I’ve decided to create a month long experiential tele-seminar called The August Abundance Assembly and invite you to join me! That way, together we can travel through the 3 evolutionary steps to connected wealth alignment that I outlined above.

So, if you’re interested in getting back on the tracks of abundance that have been Gracefully laid out for you in this lifetime, and taking a joyful ride on the true-wealth train with me, then hop on over to this page where you can sign up for more info about The August Abundance Assembly, with me & Non-Personal Awareness – and be the first to know when the booking goes live!

[Ad-August-Abundance]

[JY-General-Bio]

Your Personal World Cup & How To Win It (no football required)

Your Personal World Cup & How To Win ItThe air is alive with World Cup fever this month. It’s something that comes around like clockwork, fills the participant nations with high emotion and has the potential to deliver the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.

How, thought I, could I possibly relate this footie-phenomena to the joys of a non-personal perspective in a personal world?

Well, if you’ll pardon the pun, it turns out that it offers us a golden opportunity for self reflection and a shot at deeper freedom…

Identity Crisis

The other day I caught one of those ‘count down’ TV programmes, the World Cup Top 100 something-or-others, and what I noticed is that we hold distinct national ‘identities’, which directly relate to ‘what we are like’ in the World Cup.

For example – England are rubbish at penalties, Irish fans expect nothing but have the best time, Cameroon are likeable rogues, Germany are efficient and effective; always in contention etc etc.

It’s intriguing that the identification each nation has taken on in relation to their World Cup experience, seems to play itself out again and again. The thing is, the same mechanism is operating in our individual lives; we each have our own ‘World Cup’ event, we have assumed an identity in relation to it, and we play out this identification as our habituated track through the event. With a sigh we are left wondering why it happened pretty much the way it always does.

Of course, if you’re a Brazil, an Argentina or a Germany in relation to your personal World Cup, then chances are you feel pretty happy with how things pan out.

However if you’re an England and find yourself constantly disappointed and longing for the glory days; or if you’re a USA who’s only really interested when you’re winning and dismissive of the whole thing when you’re not; or if you’re a Scotland that ends up with the opportunity to play much less than you feel you deserve and often end up on the sidelines gaining hollow satisfaction from seeing your ‘only slightly more talented’ sibling country falling flat on their faces again… well then, perhaps, it’s time to break the pattern and have a different experience..?

The Road To Your World Cup Heaven

Your Personal World Cup NPA GraphicSo, here’s your chance for some self-inquiry. I could call it steps 1-4, but it’s oh-so-much more fun to continue the metaphor:

You’ve gotta be in it to win it, so firstly you’ll have to get through the qualifying stages. For that you’re going to need to ask yourself what your ‘World Cup’ situation is? Then to survive the group stages you’ll need to know who you are being in relation to that situation?

Next it’s knock-out time and it’ll take some fancy footwork to uncover which key aspects you’ll need to leverage, to bring more freedom and ease to the situation. Pull all of this off, and you’ll make The Final, where you can use a little NPA (the ‘Pele’ of tools for this kind of thing) and score the winning goal that can reset who you know yourself to be!

Defining Your ‘World Cup’ Situation

To help get you qualified for the main event, here’s some qualities that define the World Cup and which you can use metaphorically to look at the defining your personal World Cup event:

World Cup Aspects Defined:

  • It’s a sport, so there are winners and losers, with a series of events and a distinct outcome that defines that (add drama to taste)!
  • It is noteworthy on the ‘sporting’ calendar!
  • It happens regularly and repeatedly
  • There’s a heavy investment of National identity in it. Lots of fire, passion and potential misery! (even though it’s ‘only’ a sport)

So, to find the World Cup in your life, contemplate those aspects and ponder where this kind of pattern plays out in your life. If you want to sit back and be lead by the hand on this, skip to the bonus resources section and share the blog – then you’ll have access to a handy bendy audio that will help find your personal World Cup.

Who Are You In Relation To That Situation?

Once you’ve got a specific situation in mind it’s time to take an objective look at how it plays out. Imagine that it’s not you, not your family, not your life – just a TV drama. Ask yourself:

How does it usually play out?

  • What role does my character play throughout? (Think in terms of archetype, stereotypes or symbolically)
  • What role does my character end up in?
  • What judgements are my character making?
  • Is there a clear emotional pathway and/or a switch point? (eg. a give up point, an explosion point, an impatience-leads-to-carelessness point)

Just watch the movie and contemplate these questions, getting a general sense of the role you play and how that pattern shows up.

A Couple Of Examples

Here’s a couple of examples to give you the idea…

The Children’s Clear Up Challenge

Tidy Up BattleYour ‘World Cup’ event might be asking your kids to tidy their rooms? You notice you leave the asking for as long as possible – perhaps its a 4 week cycle. You seem uncharacteristically het up about it and the kids throw all kind of strops. You want to be ‘strong Mum/Dad’ but the tears and tantrums always seem to take the juice from the legs. You hit the crossbar, miss the goal – it never quite seems to go the way you want it. When it comes to this – you just seem to play out the role of the ‘ineffective parent’, and you feel disproportionately crushed.

The Financial Ex-Factor

The Financial Ex FactorIt’s that time again when you need to ask your ex-husband for more money for the kids. It’s always more of a drama than other conversations you have with him. You find yourself getting nervous before you call him, distrustful thoughts enter your mind, then angry thoughts – you know you play your best game when you’re centred, but you can’t help feeling meek. You fight the feeling and get angry with yourself – you know you’ve a perfect right to ask. Then you call. Sometimes he’s just fine and agrees and what a huge relief. But sometimes there’s a slight hesitation from him, a hint of resistance and you explode – you accuse him of sleight of hand with the finances, you’ve slipped into the role of ‘hysterical ex-wife’, a ‘victim’ –  it’s an own goal – you’re devastated and bewildered… you don’t even think that stuff… ouch.

And fella’s on the other side of this one – you know there’s equally complex emotions and identities at play here for you too! ♥

Shifting Identities with NPA

NPA is awesome for shifting identities. The NPA vernacular for them is ‘cookie cutters’ and they come in all shapes and sizes. Simply having an awareness of what you’re up to and the roles you fall into in your personal World Cup is an empowering thing and awareness alone for sure can get things moving. However, super charging with non-personal awareness has a way of releasing these traditionally sticky identities at the speed of light!

So now you’ve got the situation nicely defined, you can apply some NPA, and here’s some simple ways to do that:

4 Steps For Experienced NPA-ers:

1) Use a spew from the set up questions and contemplations in section 1 (the qualifying stage) to get a situational cookie cutter. Self elicit in your preferred way and choose the most animated cookie cutter.
2) Ask yourself: In relation to [Situational CC], who or what are you being?
3) Spew and elicit the most animated cookie cutter(s)
4) Run those cookie cutters through the NPA Process.

Simple Instructions For Newbies & Beginner NPA-ers:

Simply share this article via the bonus box and you will get access to a 6 min video that will take you through how to do the process. There will also be an outline of the NPA Process words themselves. There’s a ‘gap’ in the process where you insert the cookie cutter you are using.

If you’re a newbie simply use whatever role or roles you came up with that you play as your ‘cookie cutter’.

So in the examples I gave above, the cookie cutter to use for The Children’s Clear Up Challenge would be [ineffective parent]. And for The Financial Ex-Factor, there are two: [hysterical ex-wife] & [victim], requiring two processes. Obviously, it’s going to be whatever role you are seeing yourself in, not the examples. Just put that in the process, say the 6 lines, including those words out loud and see what happens.

If you want to understand all those ‘Experienced NPA-ers’ terms and do really graceful NPA, you’ll need to get some training via our comprehensive audio programme NPA: The Bridge or by attending an Event. You can also get direct assistance from me, and make a huge difference in your life HERE.

Bonus Resources For Sharing

I’d love you to share this article on your social networks, and doing so will give you instant access to the NPA Basic Training video, The NPA Process words AND a guided elicitation to help you through steps 1 & 2 described above.

[JY-General-Bio]

Artist credit: World Cup Selfie by Emma Allen – http://www.emmaallen.org/gallery/

Tweetables:

We hold distinct national ‘identities’, which directly relate to ‘what we are like’ in the World Cup. via @JoelYoungNPA

It’s intriguing that the identification that nations take on in relation to the World Cup, play themselves out repeatedly. via @JoelYoungNPA

In our individual lives; we each have our own ‘World Cup’ event. via @JoelYoungNPA

NPA is The ‘Pele’ of transformational tools :0)  via @JoelYoungNPA

Score the winning goal that can reset who you know yourself to be! via @JoelYoungNPA

NPA is awesome for shifting identities. via @JoelYoungNPA

Having an awareness of what you’re up to and the roles you fall into is an empowering thing. via @JoelYoungNPA

Non-personal awareness has a way of releasing these traditionally sticky identities at the speed of light! via @JoelYoungNPA

Trust that you can work with whatever situation is showing up. via @JoelYoungNPA

 

Wholeness & Your Inner Brat: WTF?

Wholeness & Your Inner Brat: WTF?In this Musing on NPA & Life I’m going to suggest that you notice a place in you where you have no need of life to acquiesce to your childish demands for more than you have.

In plain English that means I’m going to ask you to stop pandering to (or fighting) your inner brat. After all, s/he’s a brat.

So, let’s get this out of the way. We all have one.

It wants more. More than you have, more than you need, more…. just because more is better, and even if it isn’t better, at least it’s more, More, MORE!!!

So how does one handle this often incessant demand without suppressing or invalidating this part of you?

A Little Clarity Please…

Just to be clear – I am NOT saying ‘have no childish demands’. Childish demands come and go, as do all the colours of human experience.

My suggestion is that you have no NEED of LIFE to acquiesce to them, no matter how diligently you pray, affirm, clear out blocks, work your ass off, vision board etc etc… you get the gist.

This is, of course, only if you are interested in Truth and Peace.

And, just to be clear again – I am NOT saying don’t pray, affirm, clear out blocks, work your ass off, vision board etc etc… what you are moved to do is always perfection in the widest context.

What I AM pointing to here is a discernment of Truth, from a Spiritual perspective, and a further re-alignment of ‘Being’ from ‘Dualistic Struggle’ to ‘Wholeness’

The History Of The Conscious Brat

In the latter part of last century, especially in the awakening movement, we nurtured the demanding child of our psyches and drilled ourselves on the belief in personal power.

To a degree this may have been the quenching of a natural thirst to re-integrate the personal perspective into the Whole – a pendulum swing from outer focused authoritarianism and the exclusion of self-motivation. In the context of balance and integration, clearly this was an authentic act of kindness to The Human.

However, as one foot falls and has it’s moment of relevancy on the path, the other foot inevitably comes into consideration.

How To Love Your Inner Brat Wholesomely

Non-Personal Awareness on many levels is a vehicle through which you can engage in a simple inquiry to the source of ‘you’ and the experience of Self. Many are surprised at what they find; the realisation of Self as effect rather than cause. But ultimately there is relief, a resting and a natural willingness to Be.

From the highest personal perspective, it’s a matter of discernment. Part of mastering the NPA Process, and understanding Non-Personal Awareness is about becoming highly skilled at noticing ‘animation’.

Animation is my word for ‘what is already being moved by God/Grace/The Universe. It’s the ‘Energy of the moment’ and as you come to know this, you are able to let go of formulas and discern the ‘highest & best’ in the context of the present.

Practice

As you practice non-personal awareness, the personality relaxes it’s game of control and rests Gracefully in the chaotic, ordered, intelligent, beauty of Life. An invitation to notice the longings, wants and childish demands. To notice actions happening that appear to support those longings, wants and childish demands. To notice actions happening that appear to NOT support those longings, wants and childish demands. And to notice that, in any case, Life is what it is.

I have what I have. I will always have what I have. And I have no need of life to acquiesce to my childish demands for more than I have.

And just to leave your personality with a little reassurance right now; that tends to feel freakin’ awesome 😀

[JY-General-Bio]

Tweetables…

Childish demands come and go, as do all the colours of human experience. via @JoelYoungNPA

what you are moved to do is always perfection in the widest context. via @JoelYoungNPA

As one foot falls and has it’s moment of relevancy on the path, the other foot inevitably comes into consideration. via @JoelYoungNPA

engage in a simple inquiry to the source of ‘you’ and the experience of Self. via @JoelYoungNPA

 let go of formulas and discern the ‘highest & best’ in the context of the present. via @JoelYoungNPA

As you practice non-personal awareness, the personality relaxes it’s game of control. via @JoelYoungNPA

Notice that, in any case, Life is what it is. via @JoelYoungNPA

I have what I have. I will always have what I have. via @JoelYoungNPA

I have no need of life to acquiesce to my childish demands for more than I have. via @JoelYoungNPA

 

The Surprising Secret Ingredient That Consistently Facilitates Healing

The Surprising Secret IngredientNPA embraces and expresses one of my favourite paradoxes in the realm of healing, transformation, consciousness and love.

In this Musing on NPA & Life I want to lay it out for you, and give you an insight into, what I have come to understand is, THE biggest gift you can bring to any healing or facilitation situation.

“I’m Very Grateful”

This week I received an email from a client who wanted to express the gratitude she felt for the sessions we have been having, and offer a testimonial to share with others what she felt she experienced with me and how it has helped her.

The clue to the ‘secret ingredient’ is in here, so have a read and I’ll break it down for you after…

“Working with Joel I have been surprised by, and so appreciated, the tender compassion and acceptance that he has brought to each session. He offered a genuine loving space with no judgement; even of feelings I had previously felt sooo ashamed of.

In the past I have experienced a certain level of acceptance with facilitators but when change hasn’t come or stuckness has shown up, the focus on ‘moving on’ or changing has taken over.

Joel’s approach has the flavour of open-handed compassion and shows a level of acceptance which feels as if it comes very naturally from him. For me though, it was a very new experience and I feel that those qualities have been key to me moving on as I have.  Those more tender/”dark”/”stuck” feelings, having been offered all the time and space they needed to feel safe and relax, let down their defences and change of their own accord.

Here I am a few months later finding myself in a more peaceful and happy place! Feeling more able to deal with life, with more space and compassion now coming from within me! yeah!! I’m very grateful.”

Jane Griffin, Leicester, UK

The Secret Ingredient

So what was Jane experiencing ‘coming naturally from me’? She states; compassion, acceptance, genuine loving space, no judgement. These are qualities which naturally arise from the secret ingredient but are not the secret ingredient itself.

The thing I love most about NPA; the thing that practising it has trained into me, into my approach to working with clients and into my life in general is it’s agenda-less-ness. OK, so that’s not, strictly speaking, a real word but it points to the fact that NPA, in it’s pure form, comes with no agenda. And having NO agenda IS the secret ingredient.

And there-in lies the paradox, and the challenge for many a would-be power-user of NPA, and many a fine transformational practitioner. The question goes: “Surely if someone is paying me money to get some kind of outcome or result – shouldn’t I be doing everything in my power to get them there? Or at least to help them get themselves there!!??”

The trouble is, all that “I, me, them, their, there” stuff is based on personal power. Personal power requires a person. Persons come with an agenda. Agenda’s come with timelines, outcomes, comparisons, judgements, intentions… that leads to right ways and wrong ways both overt and covert… that leads to dogma and dogma leads to blindness… I think you get the idea.

NPA invites you to:

  • Express yourself in your natural way.
  • To say a few simple lines.
  • To notice what happens (if anything).

That’s it. No agenda.

So How Does That Consistently Facilitate Healing?

Let’s break it down

The Problem with AgendasThe problem with agendas – even ones with positive intent, even subtle energetic easily self-deniable ones – is that they apply pressure towards the intended outcome or route. Pressure tends to invoke resistance, resistance leads to persistence and before you know it you’re in a world of friction and potential stuckness. That can lead to further pressure in support of the agenda and so begins an un-helpful loop.

Jane illustrates it when she says, “In the past I have experienced a certain level of acceptance with facilitators” – in other words, there was an agenda with the facilitator, and she goes on to say how the agenda kicks up a gear, “but when change hasn’t come or stuckness has shown up, the focus on ‘moving on’ or changing has taken over.”

As you train more in the art of using NPA, you’ll begin to appreciate the importance and power of it’s agenda-less-ness. The power in NPA is NON-personal; as you get out of the way (drop the agenda) things begin to resolve all by themselves… in wonderful, effortless and sometimes miraculous ways.

Working agenda-less-ly with Jane meant that we met in a state of mutual, gentle discovery. It was like watching a flower blossom… and how personally are you involved in that process?

As Jane put it, “Those more tender/”dark”/”stuck” feelings, having been offered all the time and space they needed to feel safe and relax, let down their defences and change of their own accord.”

They (the feelings) let down their defences and changed of their own accord… And THAT is how having no agenda consistently facilitates healing, transformation, evolutions in consciousness and love.

Let It Come Alive

I have found that people who bathe themselves in the non-personal perspective at The NPA Expansive Weekend and beyond, find that it naturally comes alive in them, and with that dogma’s and agenda’s fall away. They still, of course, are available to passing intentions, outcome notions and the like, but rather than wearing them as uniform, they are passing fancy dress outfits that serve to raise a smile, warm the heart, lift a weight, disarm or arm; they come, and are used when useful and kind, and are discarded effortlessly as the truth of the moment dictates.

In the end it comes down to this, “Less ‘you-who-knows’ and more ‘Life-will-show’, invites the magic moment”

[JY-General-Bio]

 Tweetables:

“Having NO agenda IS the secret ingredient” via @JoelYoungNPA 

“Dogma leads to blindness” via @JoelYoungNPA 

“NPA invites you to express yourself in your natural way” via @JoelYoungNPA 

“The problem with agendas is that they apply pressure towards the intended outcome or route” via @JoelYoungNPA

“As YOU get out of the way, things begin to resolve all by themselves” via @JoelYoungNPA

“We met in a state of mutual, gentle discovery. It was like watching a flower blossom…” via @JoelYoungNPA

“Having no agenda consistently facilitates healing, transformation, evolutions in consciousness and love” via @JoelYoungNPA

“Less ‘you-who-knows’ and more ‘Life-will-show’, invites the magic moment” via @JoelYoungNPA

When Words Speak You (3 Keys To Divine Expression)

When Words Speak You

I remember a time when silence was awkward.

Back then, there was an urge for ME to fill the void.

Say something!

Say anything!

And if my racing, fill-the-void mind can’t find something to say, then please-oh-please can one of you get your fill-the-void mind to fill it for us!?

Then came a great relief in the realisation that the source of all experience is prior to self… It’s the first of 3 keys I’ve found to living (and speaking) your Divine Expression…

And I’m going to walk you through each of them here…

KEY 1: The Source Of All Experience Is Prior To Self

I suppose that could do with a little further explanation – so if you’re up for it, come down the proverbial rabbit hole with me…

As I pointed out in my ‘Bad News for Control Freaks‘ post:

“Enlightened Masters, Quantum Physicists & Brain Researchers agree that fundamentally there’s no personal causality & every perceived reality is entirely at consequence to God/The Field/The Subconscious (pick your label)”

A slightly softer way to look at this, is to say there’s a heck of a lot going on that you are simply not aware of. And this stuff has way more influence than most people ever dare contemplate.

And… if I’m really honest, using the word ‘influence’ is pulling my punches.  

How so?

Well, if you follow any thought, impulse or inspiration back to it’s source, you’ll very quickly get beyond the self and into a much grander, more intricately connected consciousness.

Vanilla Or ChocolateFor example: A simple act of ‘personal will’ like picking an ice cream flavour…

Vanilla or Chocolate?
Your choice right?
Let’s follow the trail…

Well it might land in your ‘actionable mental inbox’ as a preference, in the form of a thought: “I fancy chocolate today”… but where did that thought come from? What was the source of that thought..?

Now clearly there isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer to that, and you’re unlikely to truly experience the answer by chasing it with another thought.

But if you ask yourself the question “What is the source of this thought/experience?” and let the answer find you… then you’ll likely have a direct experience of something greater than your personal self.

Things I have heard when I’ve done this exercise with people include:

Stillness, nowhere, vastness, silence, energy, Source…

Sometimes it takes a few steps… like “Well I felt like it”… OK, so what is the source of that feeling? “Er… well it’s like pleasure”… Great, so what is the source of that pleasure? “Er… I don’t know”… Great so what is the source of that not knowing? “Ooh… it’s like a vastness”… you get the idea.

Some would argue that this is still the self, or even some ‘truer‘ Self.

That, unfortunately, is simply a modern re-imagining of our pre-Galileo notion that the Earth was the centre of the Universe, around which all things revolved.  

I know it may be seen like heresy in the modern Spiritual age, and I’m inviting you to consider that both these ideas serve to keep the self safe in a bubble of (ahem) self-importance and the illusion of control.

With a little dogma-free, and sober inquiry this vast consciousness reveals itself to be beyond local/personal comprehension and control. It’s the non-personal, and as long as I exist as distinctly me – even a grand idea of me as a Soul, or God itself –  there’s a ‘me’ and the relationship I have with the unknowable beyond.

In other words, there’s a distinct ‘you’ which is only a tiny part of something much greater.

So I call it God, the Infinite Field or some other derivative, and through my relationship with it, I come to know it and myself as best I can.

So what’s all this got to do with words speaking you?

KEY 2: Shifting Your Attention From ‘The Causal I’ to ‘The Receptive I’

Once you become aware that you are part of something bigger, you can begin to make a paradigm shift in the areas of responsibility, attention & control.

It’s a process over time, but when you really get that the experience of self is at consequence to a greater force, your attention can shift dramatically from a causal I and the heavy world-on-my-shoulders responsibility that brings… to a receptive I that basks in the gifts of The Divine.

Causal I Receptive I

The Causal I

In causal mode, you believe you are responsible for creating all that you want. For correcting your perceived imperfections. For managing your emotions, and the emotions of those around you. The list goes on.

You must therefore KNOW what to say. You must gather knowledge and expertise. You must crack the formula. YOU must determine the action to take and take it. It’s an almighty effort to be sure…

You get to assume the credit, but of course you also risk the blame – for you perceive yourself to be personally responsible.

In the silence, someone has to take up the slack; find the words that will fill the void and keep the self alive.

Rarely do the words that come from the formulaic causal I truly inspire. They can seem shiny and good but are, most likely, hollow and powerless in any real way. Kind of the ‘fake tan’ end of the ‘power of the word’ spectrum.

The Receptive I

In receptive mode the self becomes effortlessly attentive to the subtle movements within the non-personal as they coincide with the personal. (Take a breath, I’ll explain that later)

The self becomes attuned to the rhythm of The Divine, and discerns its presence amongst the noise.

In this way the dance becomes synchronous, harmonious, in time, responsive. The self surrenders to the rhythm and is moved. The pattern of Graceful genius becomes expressed through the receptive I.

In the silence, the self is cradled by The Divine; feeling it’s innate support, feeling it’s innate power; buoyed by the waves.

The experience is akin to that feeling against your back when the car you are in sets off. It’s a feeling of being moved, and the words speak.

Living in the realm of the receptive I requires you to surrender the habitual causal I and nurture an active ability to notice what is ‘moving’. The term I use for ‘what is moving’ is animation…

KEY 3: Animation 

In case you don’t know, NPA stands for Non-Personal Awareness and The NPA Process is a very simple and very effective tool for letting go of the yukky stuff and letting in the yummy stuff of life. Most people know it as a beautifully simple way to stop taking stuff personally… and it’s much more than that.

Because The NPA Process seems so simple (it’s just 6 lines long!), people often cheat themselves of the greater opportunity it brings them. To put it bluntly, they think that once they have the lines that’s it… they’ve got it and need go no further.

That’s like putting a dusty old painting from your attic in a boot sale; never realising you sold a Rembrandt original for a fiver. 

There is an art to using The NPA Process…

And those that choose to do the further trainings will tell you that something amazing happens once they have mastered this ‘art’.

What they quickly realise, is that they have gained a powerful skill whose benefits go WAY beyond just using The NPA Process. It’s a skill which allows you to master your alignment with your moment-by-moment Divine Expression.

It’s the skill of spotting the ‘animation’ in any given moment.

Animation is one of several unique terms we use within the NPA toolkit. To quote the Non-Personal Terminology Handbook, spotting animation is the skill of:

“Becoming effortlessly attentive to the subtle movements within the non-personal as they coincide with the personal”.

That’s a very technical and precise description, and I promised to explain it earlier…

So, in simple terms, you could say it’s the skill of listening to (and receiving) The Divine. And, by the way, this is something which can only happen in the realm of the Receptive I.

In both the NPA: Basic Training video programme, and my NPA: The Bridge audio programme, I go to great lengths to help you understand how key the skill of spotting animation is to experiencing Graceful and powerful NPA processes. 

So as you practice and become skilled with The NPA Process, not only do you make a positive difference to the small and big stuff in your life, but you also move yourself firmly into the Divine realm of The Receptive I.

I can’t emphasise it enough: This is an incredible life skill!

When you start effortlessly listening to The Divine, your life becomes magical.

You experience alignment, clarity and flow.  An effortless grace infuses your life experience. The words begin to speak you, life begins to carry you and silence ceases to be scary. In fact silence, and the whole backdrop of your life, transforms into a source of inspired potential.

 

THE NPA PROCESS: BASIC TRAINING…

NPA Basic Training - Start Here“This video programme will walk you step by step through the core training of The NPA Process and give you what you need to get started making a difference in your life right away with NPA.”

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

When Words Speak You

These days, I am un-phased by silence and have no need to fill it. I speak when words speak me. I am quiet when they don’t.

And I invite you to join me here…

For when words speak you, they carry the rhythm and power of The Divine. The pattern of Graceful genius as expressed through YOU can begin to emerge… For your joy, and the benefit of all.

As always, I welcome your comments, and am grateful if you choose to share this musing. The best place to start your journey to a magical animation led life is HERE ♥

[JY-General-Bio]

More Tweetables:

Do You Need A Hug?

Do You Need A Hug?If you tend to rationalise the crap out of feeling alone, well I understand.

Especially on ‘Saint bloody Valentines day’…

Maybe you question why you haven’t got that special someone with you and berate yourself with some bugger’s reason why you should have.

Perhaps you rage at the vulgarity of Valentines commercialism and scorn the couple’s who fell for it; displaying their loved up life on Facebook like a badge of honour. Perhaps you quietly, secretly, wish them a nasty break up.

Perhaps you hide your heart in the Haagen-Dazs pot – cookies and silent scream.

These are culturally acceptable strategies for dealing with feeling alone. They are seriously rubbish and usually serve to make you feel worse.

Here’s the thing. You need a hug.

(And, by the way, the same goes for Christmas, New Years, Birthday’s and all those traditionally ‘social’ occasions…)

You Need A Hug

And I’m not talking about one of those civilized, love & light, bromance kinda hugs you see happening everywhere these days – although I’ve gotta say I’m all for them over a hand shake, an air kiss or an awkward stand-off.

No, I’m talking about one of those uncompromising, unhindered, full out, full on, ‘I’m totally f***ing here – this moment is. my. everything.’ kinda hugs. A hug that says everything you ever wanted to hear without a single word being said. A hug that has exactly nothing to do with sex or orgasms and yet gives every cell in your body the deepest permission to sing and cry and laugh and scream in one dizzy, crazy, out-of-control yet safely held moment. A hug that says yes to everything you are, everything you’ve been and everything you long to become.

THAT, dear reader, is the hug I’m talking about.

The Big Question

And here’s the big question: Can you feel it? As you read the description of the hug – did you feel it? Can you go there? Can you LET yourself touch into it?

Because, while it’s flippin’ wonderful to get that from someone else, the truth is there are parts of you that are looking for THAT kind of hug from you, and only you. In the same way that sometimes toddlers just need their Mum, and no one else will do – not even Daddy. This can be true whether you are in a wonderful relationship, a crappy relationship or no relationship. Sometimes you’ve just gotta get in there and hug yourself!

A Deep, Out-Of-Control, Yet Safely Held Moment

This week I worked with a client in his 30’s who had undergone a very traumatic event when he was 18. Out of the experience a great deal of positive inner searching, personal and spiritual growth had come and yet he, his 18 year old traumatised consciousness, was still somehow alone and locked down. For all the work he’d done and help he’d got, this inner kid needed to feel it. He needed to down-to-his-bones know: he wasn’t alone anymore. He needed THAT kind of hug.

And no, I didn’t give him that hug. I simply helped him to realise the man he’d become was the one that his 18 year old self was looking for. And helped him to realise that the man he’d become was ready; that all that he’d been through, all that he’d been inspired to learned and all the ways that he’d grown meant he could finally meet his younger self, hold him and give him THAT kind of hug.

It was indeed a deep, out-of-control yet safely held moment. And although he hardly moved a muscle – it was a deeply physical experience and the key that unlocked his long held defences and set him on the road to outward fulfilment.

Your Turn

So, if you’re alone this Valentines, or at any time – whether you’re single or in a relationship but not getting that hug – perhaps it’s you you’re looking for – and you wont settle for less. If you can even begin to connect emotionally with my description of ‘THAT kind of hug’ or it points you to your own description that you can connect with then you’ve gone a long way to finding the perfect love today.

If you wanna go for it, then…

I invite you to imagine there’s a younger self that’s looking for THAT kind of hug today. It doesn’t matter how old she or he is – whatever age ‘you’, shows up in your sense or imagination is perfect. And if there are many – form a queue – there’s plenty of hugs to go around, and just pick one for now.

Once you have a sense of them, just feel, sense or see yourself go over to them and connect. You’re ready, so just take them in your arms and give them THAT kind of hug. If it helps to re-read my description – great, do that. Or simply feel your way through it organically – you know what they need. You know what you need. Hug it out.

And if you would like help with that, you know where I am.

This is my Universal hug for you this fine day, and I hope it touches your heart and makes your world a little brighter.

Please share the hugging love and let me know what you experienced in the comments.

[JY-General-Bio]

14 Festive FUBARs You Shouldn’t Take Personally

Your Gift... Is in the litter boxRemembering to not take things personally is a very freeing perspective.

However, in the stressy moments where you could most benefit from this awareness, it can be a challenge to truly connect to it. This, of course, is one of the areas where using The NPA Process can really help you! :0)

That being said, as the busy festive season presents intense opportunities to take things personally and stress out, I thought I’d make a list of some common situations where you might be tempted to make it personal.

The list is written as a set of invitations to remember that it’s NOT personal. Having this thought ‘pre-loaded’ in your awareness will help you feel much freer, easier and able to entertain a genuine smile. Think of it as preventative medicine as you read them and drink in the notion that you can easily remember that it’s not personal should any of these situations occur.

Get Set For A Christmas without Taking Things Personally…

NPA Basic Training - Start Here“This video programme gives you the core training for The NPA Process so you can start taking yourself from triggered states and stress to centred-ness and peace in as little as 45 seconds…”

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

The Run Up

1. When you’re jostled in the supermarket aisle, remember: It’s Not Personal
2. Shopping frenzy is in the air… remember: It’s Not Personal
3. If someone sends harsh words your way, remember that fundamentally It’s Not Personal ♥
4. If you didn’t get a snog at the Christmas party, remember: It’s Not Personal ;0)
5. If you get a headache, remember: It’s Not Personal
6. If you’re hit with a bug or the flu this Christmas, remember: It’s Not Personal ♥

Christmas Day

7. If the kids don’t express eternal gratitude remember: It’s Not Personal ;0)
8. If you don’t feel very well on the big day, remember: It’s Not Personal ♥
9. When your mother makes one of her remarks, remember: It’s Not Personal
10. If you don’t win any of the cracker pull-offs… remember It’s Not Personal ;0)
11. When your family get fractious over Christmas, remember: It’s Not Personal

Boxing Day

12. If they forgot to call you, remember: It’s Not Personal ♥
13. As you nurse a hangover, remember: It’s Not Personal ;0)
14. If you’re stuck in Boxing Day traffic, remember: It’s Not Personal

Have a Merry Christmas – and remember: It’s Not Personal!

[JY-General-Bio]

This Call on Death Reveals The Ultimate Secret To Life (An NPA Community Call with Joel Young)

This Call on Death Reveals The Ultimate Secret To Life (An NPA Community Call with Joel Young)I wanted to give you access to this really heartening and connected call on death and life that was one of our regular ‘General’ NPA Community calls.

As you may or may not know, members of The NPA Community have access to two free calls a month – a general call for questions and connection, and a themed call where folks pair up and share NPA Processes on a theme. It all happens on our teleseminar system which makes it possible to do the pair work privately and still be part of the group.

It’s pretty obvious what happens on the Themed Call, but people often wonder what happens on the General Call..? I always say it’s an open invitation to connect, ask questions and just see what happens in the energy.

So I thought I would share one with you and this one is a great example of how the group can flow and serve each other on our General calls. I always start with welcomes and introductions and get a sense of where everyone is at, then the energy takes the lead and we follow…

This Call…

This call took place on 11/11/2013 and on it, regular attendee, Bernadette Reed shares how her mother had recently passed. This lead on to a surprising group NPA process which begins a string of connections, shares and more group NPA.

The call takes you on a journey from the experience of death at a close personal level, to the mass death experienced through the Philippines Typhoon. There are opportunities for you to join in the processes, hear some non-personal perspectives from me and join the moment where we all feel that the ultimate secret to life gets revealed 🙂

Whether you have experienced the passing of a loved one, or just curious about what happens on our calls, I’m sure this heart warming call will bring something of value into your life.

Just Press Play…

Just press play to listen.

This Call on Death Reveals The Ultimate Secret To Life (An NPA Community Call with Joel Young) â–¶ custom player

© Joel Young / NPA Central 2013

If you’re interested in finding out how you can become an NPA Community Member, you can check out our qualifying products HERE

I recommend giving yourself the time to sink into the recording and ‘join the energy’. However if you’re willing to share this post then you’ll unlock a contents time map that will allow you to navigate accurately to the sections that interest you most or you’d like to review. It will also reveal a second player that will give you the option to download the file and listen at your leisure :0)

 

[JY-General-Bio]

 

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