In this Musing on NPA & Life I want to lay it out for you, and give you an insight into, what I have come to understand is, THE biggest gift you can bring to any healing or facilitation situation.
“I’m Very Grateful”
This week I received an email from a client who wanted to express the gratitude she felt for the sessions we have been having, and offer a testimonial to share with others what she felt she experienced with me and how it has helped her.
The clue to the ‘secret ingredient’ is in here, so have a read and I’ll break it down for you after…
“WorkingÂ with Joel I have been surprised by, and so appreciated, the tender compassion and acceptanceÂ that he has brought to each session.Â He offered a genuine loving space withÂ no judgement; even of feelings I had previously felt sooo ashamed of.
In the pastÂ I have experiencedÂ aÂ certainÂ level ofÂ acceptance with facilitatorsÂ butÂ when changeÂ hasn’t come or stuckness hasÂ shown up,Â the focus on ‘moving on’ or changing has taken over.
Joel’s approach has the flavour of open-handed compassion and shows a level of acceptance which feels as if it comes very naturally from him. For me though, it was a very new experience and I feel that those qualities have been key to me moving on as I have.Â Those more tender/”dark”/”stuck” feelings, having beenÂ offered all theÂ time and space they neededÂ to feel safe and relax, let down their defences and change of their own accord.
Here I am a few months later finding myselfÂ inÂ a more peaceful and happy place! Feeling more able to deal with life, with more space and compassion now coming from within me! yeah!! I’m very grateful.”
Jane Griffin, Leicester, UK
The Secret Ingredient
SoÂ what was Jane experiencing ‘coming naturally from me’? She states; compassion, acceptance, genuine loving space, no judgement. These are qualities which naturally arise from the secret ingredient but are not the secret ingredient itself.
The thing I love most about NPA; the thing that practising it has trained into me, into my approach to working with clients and into my life in general is it’s agenda-less-ness. OK, so that’s not, strictly speaking, a real word but it points to the fact that NPA, in it’s pure form, comes with no agenda. And having NO agenda IS the secret ingredient.
AndÂ there-in lies the paradox, and the challenge for many a would-be power-user of NPA, and many a fine transformational practitioner. The question goes: “Surely if someone is paying me money to get some kind of outcome or result – shouldn’t I be doing everything in my power to get them there? Or at least to help them get themselves there!!??”
The trouble is, all that “I, me, them, their, there” stuff is based on personal power. Personal power requires a person. Persons come with an agenda. Agenda’s come with timelines, outcomes, comparisons, judgements, intentions… that leads to right ways and wrong ways both overt and covert… that leads to dogma and dogma leads to blindness… I think you get the idea.
NPA invites you to:
- Express yourself in your natural way.
- To say a few simple lines.
- To notice what happens (if anything).
That’s it. No agenda.
So How Does That Consistently Facilitate Healing?
Let’s break it down
The problem with agendas – even ones with positive intent, even subtle energetic easily self-deniable ones – is that they apply pressure towards the intended outcome or route. Pressure tends to invoke resistance, resistance leads to persistence and before you know it you’re in a world of friction and potential stuckness. That can lead to further pressure in support of the agenda and so begins an un-helpful loop.
Jane illustrates it when she says, “In the pastÂ I have experiencedÂ aÂ certainÂ level ofÂ acceptance with facilitators” – in other words, there was an agenda with the facilitator, and she goes on to say how the agenda kicks up a gear, “butÂ when changeÂ hasn’t come or stuckness hasÂ shown up,Â the focus on ‘moving on’ or changing has taken over.”
As you train more in the art of using NPA, you’ll begin to appreciate the importance and power of it’s agenda-less-ness. The power in NPA is NON-personal; as you get out of the way (drop the agenda) things begin to resolve all by themselves… in wonderful, effortless and sometimes miraculous ways.
Working agenda-less-ly with Jane meant that we met in a state of mutual, gentle discovery. It was like watching a flower blossom… and how personally are you involved in that process?
As Jane put it, “Those more tender/”dark”/”stuck” feelings, having beenÂ offered all theÂ time and space they neededÂ to feel safe and relax, let down their defences and change of their own accord.”
They (the feelings) let down their defences and changed of their own accord… And THAT is how having no agenda consistently facilitates healing, transformation, evolutions in consciousness and love.
Let It Come Alive
I have found that people who bathe themselves in the non-personal perspective at The NPA Expansive Weekend and beyond, find that it naturally comes alive in them, and with that dogma’s and agenda’s fall away. They still, of course, are available to passing intentions, outcome notions and the like, but rather than wearing them as uniform, they are passing fancy dress outfits that serve to raise a smile, warm the heart, lift a weight, disarm or arm; they come, and are used when useful and kind, and are discarded effortlessly as the truth of the moment dictates.
In the end it comes down to this, “Less ‘you-who-knows’ and more ‘Life-will-show’, invites the magic moment”
“Having NO agenda IS the secret ingredient”Â via @JoelYoungNPAÂ
“Dogma leads to blindness”Â via @JoelYoungNPAÂ
“NPA invites you to express yourself in your natural way”Â via @JoelYoungNPAÂ
“The problem with agendas is that they apply pressureÂ towardsÂ the intended outcome or route”Â via @JoelYoungNPA
“As YOUÂ get out of the way, things begin to resolve all by themselves”Â via @JoelYoungNPA
“We met in a state of mutual, gentle discovery. It was like watching a flower blossom…” via @JoelYoungNPA
“Having no agenda consistently facilitates healing, transformation, evolutions in consciousness and love”Â via @JoelYoungNPA
“Less ‘you-who-knows’ and more ‘Life-will-show’, invites the magic moment”Â via @JoelYoungNPA