Time to dive a little into the human and energetic mechanics behind The NPA Process… This little post isÂ for the tech heads, psychology nerds, ever-curious ‘how-do-dat’ folk and NPA skill seekers everywhere. I’m going to pull back the veil a bit on the art and nature of how we spotÂ those cookie cutters.
Now, just in case you turned up here cold and oblivious to NPA, boy you lucked out! 😉 The NPA Process is a beautifully simple way, that anyone can use, to stop taking things personally. And the best place to start is here: A perfect NPA starter exercise
OK… let’s dive in…
Picking Up Animation In A Spew (And how it relates to Identity)
When youâ€™re in a crowded room and someone on the other side of it mentions your name, your awareness heightens â€“ you pick it up, you are tuned to it. You don’t have to think about it, you are already pre-set to notice what you recognise as ‘You’ above all else.
In the same way, when you are (to use the NPA vernacular) spewing, you are listening for that which you recognise as â€˜your selfâ€™ (in other words, for the expressions of self identity).
These cookie cutters naturally pop out to you a little more than the rest of the spew. What we are really doing then, as we listen for the animation, is mapping our self-identifications. And it bares repeating that we are already pre-set to do this. We are already unconsciously competent.
This recognition of Self is like an energetic signal that broadcasts “that’s me that is” – like an energetic hashtag. A cookie cutter is ‘tagged’ when it is actively connected to our self-identity – cool huh?
The natural question then is “So how come we can spot other peoples cookie cutters?”
Well, just as in your fave social media feed, whether you have written #ThatsMeThatIs or they have… it’s still easy to spot when you’re looking for it right? As an observer of another’s spew, it is the noticing of that signal, that ‘tag’ which creates the popping out effect and indicates the cookie cutters as they arise.
GET THEÂ NPA KEY WORD CHEAT SHEET
The link below is a â€˜back doorâ€™ to a special 75% off offer on my essential guide to finding NPA cookie cutters
I was working with a client last week and got into some interesting territory around cravings she was experiencing. Inevitably, we looked at it through the lens of non-personal awareness. One of the hall marks of the non-personal perspective is to switch from a personalised view point to a relational one.
It was very powerful for her to take the following steps when the cravings came calling.
But, first off, it bears saying that some cravings are just natural hunger, and some are telling you that you’re deficient in some nutrient, so not all of them are ‘unhealthy’. This approach is for those cravings you know to be unhealthy…
THE 5 STEPS
1) Align with the personalised truth of the moment…
When a craving hits you, it’s been embodied, so you have personalised the energy. To put that another way, you have claimed the craving as yours and made it part of yourself. I often espouse the value of ‘Starting where you are’, it ground you into the current reality and means your movement from there is more connected and so, more impactful. You can do this with a simple statement: “I have a craving”
2) Step into the non-personal, relational perspective…
You are not, in fact, the craving. That might seem like an obvious statement but it’s so automatic to personalise these independent energies, that we often miss the blindingly obvious. A simple statement will help you move from the personalised, to the non-personalised perspective: “There is a craving”
3) Understand that an unhealthy craving is driven by pain…
This is true of any imbalanced behaviour – underlying it is some form of pain, driving a misdirected behavioural response, which is what marks it as ‘unhealthy’. So now you have untangled yourself from the energy of the craving in step two, you can begin to see this more clearly. A statement will help you align with this perspective: “The craving is in pain”
4) Align yourself with compassion for the craving…
This is not about figuring out what the pain is, analysing it or fixing it. Simply allowing yourself to acknowledge that the craving is a distinct energy and it is in pain generally elicits your natural human response of compassion, and compassion is an empowering perspective for you personally. There’s no statement as such here, but if compassion isn’t coming naturally, try imagining the craving as a little puppy in pain… that usually does the trick 😉
5) Open the possibility of another action or behavioural response…
An unhealthy craving is fixated on a particular behaviour or action as the antidote to it’s pain – be that eating, smoking or whatever. When you ‘give in to’ or are ‘taken over by’ it, when you personally identify with it, you are subject to that belief and behaviour. Now that you have untangled from it and are in a space of compassion, you’re in a much stronger place to open the doors of possibility. Again this is not about figuring out what that is – in the non-personal the ‘mechanisms’ are given space to find you. The point is to align you, and the relational space between you and the craving, with the energy of option rather than a singular and unhealthy route. In other words, it puts possibility in the pot. A simple statement will do this: “There is another way”
As I said, my client found this incredibly helpful, so I thought I would share it with you and hope that it makes a difference to your life experience. I’d love to hear what you experience, so please share in the comments below… and share it on social media if you feel your friends and those in your network could benefit from it.
Have you ever been in a situation where the people around you are in an absolute stink? A prolonged state of â€˜negativityâ€™ where it seems like nothing you say or do, no matter how well intentioned, can encouraged them to come back into their heart?
My name is Joel Young and I’m the creator
of The NPA Process, a beautifully simple way to stop taking things personally.
This video addresses the issue of dealing with intense negativity in terms of basic human interaction. It comes in the understanding that human relations are often where our deepest crap hits the proverbial fan, rarely stopping to consider the sanitised suggestions proffered by our more enlightened aspects.
Iâ€™ve experienced this many many times in my life and Iâ€™ve learned some valuable lessons along the way.
Iâ€™m not generally big on formulas, but it IS nice to have some options.
So hereâ€™s a list of 10 things Iâ€™d like to share with you, that Iâ€™ve found helpful when Iâ€™m dealing with intense negativity. If you can assimilate even one of them in the heat of the moment, youâ€™ll be doing yourself (and the other person) a big favour.
So let’s get started…
1. Re-Think The Label ‘Negativity’
When you label someones expressions as â€˜negativeâ€™ you enter dangerous territory.
Now, Itâ€™s not that Iâ€™m saying thereâ€™s anything intrinsically bad or wrong with the term negativity, Iâ€™m simply suggesting you examine what you are really saying when you use it, and how that impacts your experience: your thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
I could say a LOT about this, but the main point I want to highlight is that in the context of heated interactions: Watch out for the tendency to fall into the trap of using the term ‘negativity’ as one of the following: a judgement, a defence, an attack from a position of superior enlightenment, to assert yourself as a victim, to negate their perspective or deny their experience.
All of those will cause YOU pain and Iâ€™m encouraging you to be as aware as possible about how YOUR label for THEIR experience impacts YOUR experience.
When we’re uncomfortable with someone elseâ€™s expression, itâ€™s very easy to believe the notion that they ought to be different than they are â€“ after all, YOU can see that they would be much happier if they only followed your helpful advice and, of course, it would certainly be easier for you!
Again, Iâ€™m not saying that your helpful insights arenâ€™t awesome, and if they did do whatâ€™s bleedinâ€™ obvious to you, perhaps they would feel a whole lot better!
The slippery slope here is when you become attached to your way and then suddenly you have an agenda.
Agendaâ€™s limit possibilities. They can make you go deaf & blind to the other person, to yourself and tend to create strong undercurrents of pressure to have themselves fulfilled.
Pressure and heat is exactly what you need for an explosion â€“ just sayinâ€™
The truth is that they need to be where they are right now â€“ at least for now. And as humans we tend to resist when our natural pace is forced.
There’ll be time for suggestions or for offering a perspective or for finding a way through that works for them (whether you agree with it or not) â€“ and that time might not be now.
When you drop your agenda, youâ€™ll be more available to notice that moment when it arises.
3. Don’t Take It Personally
Well, of course, this list would not be complete without a reference to NPA would it?
So… Lots of wise sages have advised people not to take these things personally â€“ and trust me itâ€™s good advice!
I have dedicated nearly a decade of my life to sharing the multifaceted and fundamentally non-personal nature of reality… And sometimes, especially in these situations, it comes down to this: Itâ€™s just not about you!
Of course, when someoneâ€™s deepest doo doo is being flung in your face, it can be easier said than done to not take it personally, but fortunately the human race now has The NPA Process which gives us a simple and effective way to cut through the sh*t (pun intended) and come up smelling of roses (I may have overdone and/or mixed my metaphors â€“ but you get the point!).
Iâ€™ve experienced it myself AND had amazing feedback from so many other people who have stepped out of a heated situation, taken themselves through an NPA Process and found they really CAN stop taking it personally and become freer to act from a wholesome place.
On my website (see below) you’ll find a free and simple exercise called ‘Don’t Take Them Personally’. It will show you exactly how to use The NPA Process in these situations and I highly recommend you get it.
GET THE â€œDONâ€™T TAKE THEM PERSONALLYâ€ EXERCISE
Learn how you can feel clear and centred around the people in your life who say or do things that cause you stress
This suggestion may seem hard to swallow, and it often requires us to be able to genuinely get the hang of suggestions 1, 2 & 3 – so: drop the label of negativity, drop the agenda and not take it personally – before weâ€™re able to really listen. But when you DO really listen, magic can happen.
There can be lots of â€˜fauxâ€™ listening going on, especially where an agenda is running in the background â€“ and in fact, that is not listening.
Truly listening can be miraculous, but listening in order to get a miracle â€“ well, weâ€™re back to agenda again :p
Listening without an agenda is just that. Listening. Nothing added. You might be amazed what gets said when they realise you’re really listening.
5. Listen To You
Thereâ€™s a saying that â€˜misery loves companyâ€™ which points to our very natural human longing for agreement. In the heat of their deepest pain people often seek agreement from those around them.
And when I say seek, as you know, it often comes out as demand right?
Now, Our culture is full of mixed messages in this arena.
We’re taught, for example: â€œIt is kind and loving to sympathise and support someone in their painful storiesâ€
This is something many would agree with, and itâ€™s my opinion that there IS a place for this in the bish bosh of day to day human bonding. Validation can be an important part of dialogue.
Conversely we are told â€œwhere attention goes energy flowsâ€, which in this context is kind of a rebranding of â€œdonâ€™t throw fuel on the fireâ€. In other words, if you give their negativity attention it will just get worse.
Then thereâ€™s the old chestnut: â€œIf I donâ€™t put â€™em straight theyâ€™ll never learnâ€… And sometimes a strong alternative perspective is exactly what’s needed…
The reality is, thereâ€™s no ONE approach that will be right for all situations, and you canâ€™t truly know how the other person will respond whichever path you choose. To sympathise, to challenge, to ignore, to confrontâ€¦? What to do? What to do?
All you can do is listen to you as best you can, and follow those inner prompts, knowing that they, ultimately, come from a wider awareness. Plus, this way, at least you stay with yourself.
6. Ask Yourself: Is It Kind To Me?
This inner inquiry came to me in the middle of a drawn out domestic some years ago.
Kindness has always been important to me and the question I used to ask was focused very much in the outward direction. â€œWhatâ€™s the kind thing for me to doâ€ would be translated as â€œhow can I express kindness towards themâ€œ.
What I realised though is that sometimes, my attempts at kindness would be very painful for me, and would often backfire and cause greater stress in my beloved at the time.
The thing is, I was excluding myself completely from the kindness equation.
So, on this occasion I was laying next to my wife at the time, both of us worn out from the long fight. I knew she was still mad at me and very much unresolved… and the truth is, so was I.
Then arose my usual urge to make peace… To open my heart and reconnect and I began to reach out my hand to touch her softly and comfort herâ€¦ Suddenly the words rang loudly in my head: â€œIs it kind to YOU Joel?â€
My hand stopped in itâ€™s tracks as the realisation dawned. â€œNo, it bloody well isnâ€™t kind to meâ€ and then, I realised, it wouldnâ€™t really have been kind to her either.
It would have been a false move, borne from my agenda to stop the discomfort I felt with the conflict! It would have been a lie to her and a lie to myself.
My hand withdrew and I lay in the truth, and let her be â€“ free to lay in hers. Something in me softened.
So my suggestion is: before you act to appease, to agree, to shout, to run â€“ whatever â€“ ask yourself â€œIs it kind to me?â€. If it is? Chances are itâ€™s the kindest thing you can do all round.
OK, this one is real simple. Youâ€™re gonna cock it up on numbers 1-6 at some point (and numbers 8-10 for that matter!). You just are â€“ thatâ€™s your humanity.
So give yourself a break.
Sometimes, what is, is just gonna be: â€œIâ€™m fed up with the unconscious negativity of the miserable bugger. Why wonâ€™t they just think differently like I tell â€™em AND Iâ€™ve been as kind to them as I can possibly be in spite of their mood! What about me!!!!???â€ lol
Give yourself a break. Thereâ€™s another breath coming.
8. Remove Yourself From The Situation
Sometimes youâ€™ve just gotta get out. Get away from it. This links right back to listening to and being kind to you. There are times when itâ€™s time to stay and work it through, and times when something inside says itâ€™s time to go.
This is true in a small temporary way â€“ where you just need to take yourself off for a walk, a bike ride, for a coffee or whatever… AND it can also be true in a bigger way, where itâ€™s time to leave the relationship altogether.
When you listen in and pay close attention, and are willing to be kind to you, the thousand-and-one rational thoughts that would keep you in the painful crap longer than is â€˜trueâ€™ wonâ€™t get a look in.
9. Affirm Your Willingness To Be There When They’re Ready
In relational dynamics, especially if itâ€™s that time to go take a breather (and itâ€™s not the grand finale), Iâ€™ve found that itâ€™s kinder all round if you can offer some sense of reassurance as you step away.
It may seem that the other person can neither hear you nor cares, but something inside them is listening.
So saying things like â€œIâ€™m here when youâ€™re ready, I know we can work this out, and I need to go right nowâ€ tend to tear less at the bonds between you.
This isnâ€™t only a sound approach at the times when you need to walk away for a bit, but all throughout communications at these heated times.
The more you can offer statements of intent to work it out together, to hear them, to be there: itâ€™s all good (as long as itâ€™s kind to you).
But really – donâ€™t under estimate the value of another perspective in these kind of situations. We all need a helping hand sometimes <3
One More thing…
What if YOU are the source of â€˜intense negativityâ€™?
In that case, watch this video again and see if you can recognise how thereâ€™s a part of you that needs to â€˜re-think the labelâ€™, â€˜drop the agendaâ€™ etc etc â€“ give yourself a break and Do some NPA!!
Give It Some Love
So… Perhaps you have ideas Iâ€™ve never even thought of? Maybe one of these 10 suggestions has given you an aha moment or helped you in some specific way? Maybe you have a strong opinion about one or all of these?
Please let me and others know in the comments and why not share this if youâ€™ve found it helpful
Also go visit my website: NonPersonalAwareness.com where you’ll find the free and simple exercise called ‘Don’t Take Them Personally’. Remember, it will show you exactly how to use The NPA Process in these situations and I highly recommend you get it.
[or use the link in the box below]
GET THE â€œDONâ€™T TAKE THEM PERSONALLYâ€ EXERCISE
Learn how you can feel clear and centred around the people in your life who say or do things that cause you stress
In this Musing on NPA & Life, I’m going to let you know why the story that we need to re-write our personal history in order to heal isn’t necessarily true, and how NPA can help you find your natural path to healing; whatever that may be.
The Definitive Position
There are lots of ‘stories’ flying around in the world of human transformation, positive thinking and healing that are presented as ‘the definite position’. One of the reasons I sometimes refer to myself as a ’21st Century Heretic’ is that I like to examine this new doctrine, with an intention of promoting a perspective of unlimited possibility, co-creation and ongoing evolution.
Most of these ‘definitive positions’ are taken because of an experience of things working that way. So there IS an element of truth to them.
THE Way To Heal
Let’s take our topic-du-jour – healing. It would be true to say that many people have had tremendous success in healing by addressing their issues through following this idea:
“It took root as the result of something in my past, so if I can access whatever set things up this way and change the settings to something better, then I will heal”
The journey to your past can be fun. It can give the mind a recognisable, reason based and understandable story about what caused things to be as they are. It can also help relax the mind about the changes that are be-coming. It can be juicy and it scratches the itch of ‘why?’
This can be a great thing and certainly, in some cases, it’s A good way. But the leap from A WAY to THE WAY can be a trip to limitation and, perhaps even denial of an altogether simpler way.
The reality is that people all over the world are experiencing healing in a million different ways, with most of them not necessarily linking their healing to their past, or changing their thoughts, feelings or beliefs about their ‘history’ in any way.
I like to think that this demonstrates the kindness and flexibility of The Universe in how it answers our prayers – not just for healing, but for the journey of healing that will suit us best.
NPA is just a few simple words; six simple lines. Sometimes you don’t feel a thing. Sometimes you do.
It doesn’t lead you to some place ‘not here’ that you need to get to, in order to meet an idea of what it takes to heal. For example, you are not required to go to the past if that’s not where you’re hanging out naturally. You’re not required to determine ‘how that makes you feel’ if your natural expression is not emotional. You are not required to figure out what you would have to believe in order to feel this way if you ARE experiencing emotions! NPA simplyÂ meets you where you are.
NPA has shown me time and again that spontaneous healings can just sort of happen.
And what I have seen much more often with NPA is that it works with our humanity. It honours our longing for the story of our lives. It respects our minds’ childlike need for understanding and opens the way for the most appropriate mechanism to show itself.
You could say that NPA turns on the landing lights for your dreams and prayers. It makes the path that suits you best really clear, and facilitates a nice soft landing.
Life Has Space To Answer
That might be a spontaneous healing. Or it might be that you suddenly feel inspired to have a session in another healing modality – one that uses physical touch, or one that works with your thoughts or emotions – or perhaps even one that addresses the past!
Whatever it is, I often hear that the path is made clear, automatic even and that it runs smooth. Life has space to answer, and to answer in ways that work easily, naturally & sustainably for you.
With all these conflicting definitive positions flying around which tell you with conviction what is required for you to heal can get confusing. So, it’s a wonderful thing to have NPA as A way to help your most naturalÂ healing path show itself to you. :0)
“NPA has shown me time & again that spontaneous healings can just sort of happen”Â via @JoelYoungNPA
“It’s a wonderful thing to have NPA asÂ AÂ way to help your mostÂ naturalÂ healing path show itself to you” via @JoelYoungNPA
CONTEMPLATION 1: THIS IS WHAT PERFECTION LOOKS LIKE
Perfection is not about Happy Clappy LaLa land in permanent stasis, it’s about Divine Order – everything in the Universe exactly where it’s meant to be, which is where it is, in each moment – “Reality”, as Byron Katie puts it.
For you and your experience, that may be up, it may be down; a co-ordinate within the constant motion of Life.
In any case, I invite you to contemplate the notion that this (whatever you are experiencing right now) is what perfection looks like.
CONTEMPLATION 2: STUCKNESS IS IMPOSSIBLE
Everything is Energy. Energy exists in waves. Waves are in constant motion… constant motion is not stuck-ness, even though it can appear to be so…
So contemplate the notion that: “At a quantum level, everything is in constant motion. Stuckness, fundamentally, is impossible”
CONTEMPLATION 3: YOU ARE NOT THE ACTIVE FORCE
If you follow any thought, impulse or inspiration back to itâ€™s source you will very quickly get beyond the self. In may ways that Del Amitri song â€˜Always The Last To Knowâ€™ speaks a profound truth of our personal experience.
We like to think we are in charge, in control, the decider, but there are stupendous, enormous beyond comprehension, out of this world crazy big creative forces at work. The possibility matrix accounts for the sum of the Totality of experience across the multiverses and the bottom line in each moment gets expressed through you via thought/impulse/inspiration/decision.
As Ramesh S Balsekar, one of my fave Enlightened Masterâ€™s says: â€œAlways a happening, never a doerâ€
At first this notion can seem disempowering and devastating to our inner control freak (we all have one), however this non-personal perspective soon reveals itself to be a liberation. Also, when you’re done contemplating, you can check my previous post called Bad News For Control Freaks
So, I invite you to contemplate the notion:
â€œYou are being moved, being breathed, being Â‘doneÂ’. You are not the active force; rather the receiver and expression of it.â€
Learn How You Can Make Rapid Positive Shifts…
“This video programme will walk you step by step through the core training of The NPA Process and give you what you need to get started making a difference in your life right away with NPA.”
Sit with this one, especially if your road to healing, or path to awakening finds you judging, belittling, labelling as ‘less Spiritual’ or attempting to ‘rid’ yourself of any particular experience or aspect of yourself…
Contemplate notion 4: “Your Ego & your Soul are sibling children of God, loved equally and unconditionally”
CONTEMPLATION 5: IF YOU PARENT YOURSELF…
In my many years of self-healing and working with countless clients, I noticed that most painful behaviours were born from ‘child’ consciousness’ or young identities looking for something… Love, protection, acknowledgement, understanding etc etc…
The child energy seeks parental energy… And yet we tend to “personalise” parental energy, and therefore limit it’s origin, to our parents and carers.
So if the flow of parental energy through these fine people is shaped in a way that didn’t connect with our various child energies, an unmet need is generated.
The good news is that parental energy is non-personal and can joyfully flow through you to your child energies in exquisitely precise ways.
Through this notion I was liberated from my personal history, so I invite you to contemplate…
“If you parent yourself in all the ways you wish you had been parented, then Love will run amok in your heart, where need once did”
Thereâ€™s also a more in depth blog on this subject HERE
CONTEMPLATION 6: YOUR MIND JUST OPENED…
Aligning with the forceless force that animates all experience is only a contemplation away. And the forceless force is EXPANDING the entire Universe – at a physical and quantum level, so I invite you to align with it as you contemplate the notionâ€¦
“Your mind just opened a little bit wider, your breath just got a little bit deeper & a quiet ease just crept silently into your Soul…”
CONTEMPLATION 7: BEING YOU IS THE GIFT
As we come to the end of this series of contemplations, let’s contemplate a little deeper…
Notion 7 is: “Being You is the greatest gift you can offer the Earth”
So what is ‘You’?
Who are ‘You’?
What does Being You look like?
There are lot’s of ‘standard’ spiritual answers to these questions… I am everything, I am nothing, I am a spiritual being in a human body… yada yadaâ€¦
And I would invite you to contemplate the notion WITHOUT the baggage of Spiritual knowledge…
“Being YOU is the greatest gift you can offer the Earth”
Contemplate… Ponder… Wonder…
And enjoy the presence of discovery….
I hope these notions have stirred you, moved you, touched you or awakened something in you – even if it’s confirmation of your own perspective… And if they have please pay it forward and share this blog <3
Contemplate the question ‘Who am I?’Â WITHOUTÂ the baggage of Spiritual knowledge (via @JoelYoungNPA)
Contemplate, Ponder, Wonder… and enjoy the presence of discovery…. (via @JoelYoungNPA)
“Being YOU is the greatest gift you can offer the Earth” @JoelYoungNPA #quote
“Aligning with the forceless force that animates all experience is only a contemplation away”Â @JoelYoungNPA #quote
A forceless force is EXPANDING the entire Universe at a physical and quantum level; I invite you to align with it (viaÂ @JoelYoungNPA)
“Most painful behaviours are born from ‘child’ consciousness’ or young identities looking for something”Â @JoelYoungNPA #quote
“The child energy seeks parental energy. But we personalise the energy & limit it’s origin to our parents and carers” @JoelYoungNPA #quote
“Your Ego & your Soul are sibling children of God, loved equally and unconditionally”Â @JoelYoungNPA #quote
In may ways that Del Amitri song â€˜Always The Last To Knowâ€™ speaks a profound truth of our personal experience :0)Â (viaÂ @JoelYoungNPA)
We like to think we are in charge, in control, the decider, but grand energies prior to consciousness are more causal than our personal choices
“The possibility matrix accounts for the sum of the Totality of experience & expresses it as impulse/inspiration/decision” via @JoelYoungNPA
â€œAlways a happening, never a doerâ€Â Ramesh S BalsekarÂ (viaÂ @JoelYoungNPA)
“At a quantum level, everything is in constant motion. Stuckness, fundamentally, is impossible”Â @JoelYoungNPA #quote
“Perfection is not about Happy Clappy LaLa Land in a permanent positively biased stasis, it’s about Divine Order”Â @JoelYoungNPA #quote
“Meeting any perspective as a notion (& all we have are notions about the mystery) invites an opening without agenda”Â @JoelYoungNPA #quote
“So much power becomes available as you loosen the grip of knowing and control”Â @JoelYoungNPA #quote #wisdom
This post looks deeper at the thorny area of wealth, money and abundance. It hopes to help you hack through the prickly undergrowth and awaken the sleeping beauty within…
I’m always grateful for comments. I find they inspire me, and my responses are as much a discovery for me as I hope they are for the commenter! My recent post “Want Wealth? Get Connected To What Truly Matters” elicited a comment from Sara that held questions. As I commented back it took me deeper into the topic. I realised there was a LOT to say and that this response actually merited a post all it’s own.You could think of this post as a ‘Part 2’ and I strongly recommend youread the previous post as a ‘Part 1’as it will give you a context for what comes below.
Sara’s Comment & Questions
“Iâ€™m confused. Are you talking about wealth as a connection to/with abundance or to/with monetary wealth? Both â€˜matterâ€™ for more or less everyone yet, as you clearly state, the lack of the later (money) might show us that we donâ€™t value it as much as other aspects of our lives. How so? Given that the vast majority of people live such monetised lives, how come materialising monetary wealth is so darn difficult? Thanks for a thought/comment-provoking read.”
Hi Sara, Thanks so much for your comment and questions. I LOVE that you found it thought provoking and boy, is it easy to get confused on this one. I’ll give it a shot and answer your questions as best I can from my perspective…
Q: “Are you talking about wealth as a connection to/with abundance or to/with monetary wealth?”
I would say I am inviting people to investigate. Firstly their relationship between them, and then if their story meets the reality, which naturally leads to your second question…
Q: “Given that the vast majority of people live such monetised lives, how come materialising monetary wealth is so darn difficult?”
Monetary Wealth: Easy Peasy or Herculean Effort?
Here’s what I’ve noticed…
For some people, monetary wealth is easy peasy. It has nothing to do with ‘their work being their passion’, ‘them following their dream’ etc etc – it’s just that for them it shows up.
For others, they can do all the ‘right things’, follow their dream etc etc. but when they look at their balance sheet and tell themselves ‘I have to make money’ it all starts to feel like a total grind. Their Herculean efforts in pursuit of the money are largely ineffective. The fact is, when their focus shifts to the money, somewhere inside they die a little… OK, I’m being melodramatic here, but sometimes that’s how it feels, right?
So if you’re in situation 1, money truly matters to you! You love it without issue; without conflict. It’s not necessarily attached to a particular task, purpose or feeling (though it could be); it’s just the neutral truth. In NPA terms we would say that money is a primary active energy within your field of awareness. In simple terms, money truly matters to you so it materialises for you readily.
If you’re more in the realm of situation 2, the neutral truth is that, on balance, money doesn’t truly matter to you. Money is NOT a primary active energy within your field of awareness. Perhaps it’s secondary or tertiary, but it’s not the first point of materialisation and not directly connected to your natural stream of abundance.
But that switch of focus from what truly matters to you, to ‘money’ is where the suffering, stalling and struggle begins. It’s like driving a train alongside the railway track rather than on it; it’s highly inefficient, bumpy, fraught with danger and not very clever.
The difficulty for you in this case, is that the modern cultural mythology and the structures built around that, bathe you daily in the idea that money matters most, or at least more than it actually does to you. Your tendancy is probably to buy into that perspective, and disconnect from your local experience and perspective.
The challenge then is to buck the mythology and trust that money matters enough that it will materialise in support of what truly matters, where money is required to facilitate that.
My invitation is to get your train back on the tracks, and here’s how:
STEP 1: Get real about what truly matters, discover the huge wealth of it that you already have and appreciate your natural abundance.
STEP 2: Come to peace with your relationship to monetary wealth as it truly is right now and understand where it sits in the landscape of who you experience yourself to be.
STEP 3: Allow these relationships to evolve in a way that keeps you as connected as possible to; your point of materialisation, your sense of abundance and any newly clarified intentions, in a sustainable way going forward.
So now I’ve written all this, I realise two things.
Firstly, that a lot of people could probably use help with those three steps.
Secondly that I can’t fully claim to have it all down myself. BUT what I DO know, is what truly matters to me. And what matters to me is finding creative ways to help myself and others live a kinder, easier and more fulfilling life. I find this effortless and there’s a wealth of it in my life. Furthermore, I realise that NPA, it’s perspectives and the creative ways I’ve come to use it is a perfect vehicle through which these inquiries can be explored.
Wanna Take A Ride?
With that in mind I’ve decided to create a month longÂ experiential tele-seminar called The August Abundance Assembly and invite you to join me! That way, together we can travel through the 3 evolutionary steps to connected wealth alignment that I outlined above.
So, if you’re interested in getting back on the tracks of abundance that have been Gracefully laid out for you in this lifetime, and taking a joyful ride on the true-wealth train with me, thenhop on over to this page where you can sign up for more info about The August Abundance Assembly, with me & Non-Personal Awareness – and be the first to know when the booking goes live!
In this Musing on NPA & Life I’m going to suggest that you noticeÂ a place in you where you have no need of life to acquiesce to your childish demands for more than you have.
In plain English that means I’m going to ask you to stop pandering to (or fighting) your inner brat. After all, s/he’s a brat.
So, let’s get this out of the way. We all have one.
It wants more. More than you have, more than you need, more…. just because more is better, and even if it isn’t better, at least it’s more, More, MORE!!!
So how does one handle this often incessant demand without suppressing or invalidating this part of you?
A Little Clarity Please…
Just to be clear – I am NOT saying ‘have no childish demands’. Childish demands come and go, as do all the colours of human experience.
My suggestion is that you have no NEED of LIFE to acquiesce to them, no matter how diligently you pray, affirm, clear out blocks, work your ass off, vision board etc etc… you get the gist.
This is, of course, only if you are interested in Truth and Peace.
And, just to be clear again – I am NOT saying donâ€™t pray, affirm, clear out blocks, work your ass off, vision board etc etc… what you are moved to do is always perfection in the widest context.
What I AM pointing to here is a discernment of Truth, from a Spiritual perspective, and a further re-alignment of ‘Being’ from ‘Dualistic Struggle’ to ‘Wholeness’
The History Of TheÂ ConsciousÂ Brat
In the latter part of last century, especially in the awakening movement, we nurtured the demanding child of our psyches and drilled ourselves on the belief in personal power.
To a degree this may have been the quenching of a natural thirst to re-integrate the personal perspective into the Whole â€“ a pendulum swing from outer focused authoritarianism and the exclusion of self-motivation. In the context of balance and integration, clearly this was an authentic act of kindness to The Human.
However, as one foot falls and has it’s moment of relevancy on the path, the other foot inevitably comes into consideration.
How To Love Your Inner Brat Wholesomely
Non-Personal Awareness on many levels is a vehicle through which you can engage in a simple inquiry to the source of â€˜youâ€™ and the experience of Self. Many are surprised at what they find; the realisation of Self as effect rather than cause. But ultimately there is relief, a resting and a natural willingness to Be.
From the highest personal perspective, it’s a matter of discernment. Part of mastering the NPA Process, and understanding Non-Personal Awareness is about becoming highly skilled at noticing ‘animation’.
Animation is my word for ‘what is already being moved by God/Grace/The Universe. It’s the ‘Energy of the moment’ and as you come to know this, you are able to let go of formulas and discern the ‘highest & best’ in the context of the present.
As you practice non-personal awareness, the personality relaxes it’s game of control and rests Gracefully in the chaotic, ordered, intelligent, beauty of Life. An invitation to notice the longings, wants and childish demands. To notice actions happening that appear to support those longings, wants and childish demands. To notice actions happening that appear to NOT support those longings, wants and childish demands. And to notice that, in any case, Life is what it is.
I have what I have. I will always have what I have. And I have no need of life to acquiesce to my childish demands for more than I have.
And just to leave your personality with a little reassurance right now; that tends to feel freakin’ awesome 😀
Childish demands come and go, as do all the colours of human experience. via @JoelYoungNPA
what you are moved to do is always perfection in the widest context.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
As one foot falls and has it’s moment of relevancy on the path, the other foot inevitably comes into consideration.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
engage in a simple inquiry to the source of â€˜youâ€™ and the experience of Self.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
Â let go of formulas and discern the ‘highest & best’ in the context of the present.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
As you practice non-personal awareness, the personality relaxes it’s game of control.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
Notice that, in any case, Life is what it is.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
I have what I have. I will always have what I have.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
I have no need of life to acquiesce to my childish demands for more than I have.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
NPA embraces and expresses one of my favourite paradoxes in the realm of healing, transformation, consciousness and love.
In this Musing on NPA & Life I want to lay it out for you, and give you an insight into, what I have come to understand is, THE biggest gift you can bring to any healing or facilitation situation.
“I’m Very Grateful”
This week I received an email from a client who wanted to express the gratitude she felt for the sessions we have been having, and offer a testimonial to share with others what she felt she experienced with me and how it has helped her.
The clue to the ‘secret ingredient’ is in here, so have a read and I’ll break it down for you after…
“WorkingÂ with Joel I have been surprised by, and so appreciated, the tender compassion and acceptanceÂ that he has brought to each session.Â He offered a genuine loving space withÂ no judgement; even of feelings I had previously felt sooo ashamed of.
In the pastÂ I have experiencedÂ aÂ certainÂ level ofÂ acceptance with facilitatorsÂ butÂ when changeÂ hasn’t come or stuckness hasÂ shown up,Â the focus on ‘moving on’ or changing has taken over.
Joel’s approach has the flavour of open-handed compassion and shows a level of acceptance which feels as if it comes very naturally from him. For me though, it was a very new experience and I feel that those qualities have been key to me moving on as I have.Â Those more tender/”dark”/”stuck” feelings, having beenÂ offered all theÂ time and space they neededÂ to feel safe and relax, let down their defences and change of their own accord.
Here I am a few months later finding myselfÂ inÂ a more peaceful and happy place! Feeling more able to deal with life, with more space and compassion now coming from within me! yeah!! I’m very grateful.”
Jane Griffin, Leicester, UK
The Secret Ingredient
SoÂ what was Jane experiencing ‘coming naturally from me’? She states; compassion, acceptance, genuine loving space, no judgement. These are qualities which naturally arise from the secret ingredient but are not the secret ingredient itself.
The thing I love most about NPA; the thing that practising it has trained into me, into my approach to working with clients and into my life in general is it’s agenda-less-ness. OK, so that’s not, strictly speaking, a real word but it points to the fact that NPA, in it’s pure form, comes with no agenda. And having NO agenda IS the secret ingredient.
AndÂ there-in lies the paradox, and the challenge for many a would-be power-user of NPA, and many a fine transformational practitioner. The question goes: “Surely if someone is paying me money to get some kind of outcome or result – shouldn’t I be doing everything in my power to get them there? Or at least to help them getthemselvesthere!!??”
The trouble is, all that “I, me, them, their, there” stuff is based on personal power. Personal power requires a person. Persons come with an agenda. Agenda’s come with timelines, outcomes, comparisons, judgements, intentions… that leads to right ways and wrong ways both overt and covert… that leads to dogma and dogma leads to blindness… I think you get the idea.
NPA invites you to:
Express yourself in your natural way.
To say a few simple lines.
To notice what happens (if anything).
That’s it. No agenda.
So How Does That Consistently Facilitate Healing?
Let’s break it down
The problem with agendas – even ones with positive intent, even subtle energetic easily self-deniable ones – is that they apply pressure towards the intended outcome or route. Pressure tends to invoke resistance, resistance leads to persistence and before you know it you’re in a world of friction and potential stuckness. That can lead to further pressure in support of the agenda and so begins an un-helpful loop.
Jane illustrates it when she says, “In the pastÂ I have experiencedÂ aÂ certainÂ level ofÂ acceptance with facilitators” – in other words, there was an agenda with the facilitator, and she goes on to say how the agenda kicks up a gear, “butÂ when changeÂ hasn’t come or stuckness hasÂ shown up,Â the focus on ‘moving on’ or changing has taken over.”
As you train more in the art of using NPA, you’ll begin to appreciate the importance and power of it’s agenda-less-ness. The power in NPA is NON-personal; as you get out of the way (drop the agenda) things begin to resolve all by themselves… in wonderful, effortless and sometimes miraculous ways.
Working agenda-less-ly with Jane meant that we met in a state of mutual, gentle discovery. It was like watching a flower blossom… and how personally are you involved in that process?
As Jane put it, “Those more tender/”dark”/”stuck” feelings, having beenÂ offered all theÂ time and space they neededÂ to feel safe and relax, let down their defences and change of their own accord.”
They(the feelings) let down theirdefences and changed of their own accord… And THAT is how having no agenda consistently facilitates healing, transformation, evolutions in consciousness and love.
Let It Come Alive
I have found that people who bathe themselves in the non-personal perspective at The NPA Expansive Weekend and beyond, find that it naturally comes alive in them, and with that dogma’s and agenda’s fall away. They still, of course, are available to passing intentions, outcome notions and the like, but rather than wearing them as uniform, they are passing fancy dress outfits that serve to raise a smile, warm the heart, lift a weight, disarm or arm; they come, and are used when useful and kind, and are discarded effortlessly as the truth of the moment dictates.
In the end it comes down to this, “Less ‘you-who-knows’ and more ‘Life-will-show’, invites the magic moment”
“Having NO agenda IS the secret ingredient”Â via @JoelYoungNPAÂ
“Dogma leads to blindness”Â via @JoelYoungNPAÂ
“NPA invites you to express yourself in your natural way”Â via @JoelYoungNPAÂ
“The problem with agendas is that they apply pressureÂ towardsÂ the intended outcome or route”Â via @JoelYoungNPA
“As YOUÂ get out of the way, things begin to resolve all by themselves”Â via @JoelYoungNPA
“We met in a state of mutual, gentle discovery. It was like watching a flower blossom…” via @JoelYoungNPA
“Having no agenda consistently facilitates healing, transformation, evolutions in consciousness and love”Â via @JoelYoungNPA
“Less ‘you-who-knows’ and more ‘Life-will-show’, invites the magic moment”Â via @JoelYoungNPA
This Easter musing on NPA & Life takes a good look at the idea of â€˜Thy Will be doneâ€™. From a Christian-centric Easter perspective and the story of Jesus in The Garden of Gethsemane – the events that lead to The Passion of Christ – through to a very non-personal perspective on the idea of â€˜handing it over to Godâ€™.
So letâ€™s crack open this sweet egg, and take a ride down the Easter Bunny holeâ€¦
The Garden of Gethsemane, Jerusalem, 2008
In 2008 I had the privilege of teaching the first ever Journey Intensive Weekend for Brandon Bays in Israel. During that trip I had the opportunity to visit Jerusalem â€“ an opportunity I was NOT going to miss.
I was raised Christian, my Grandpa was a Vicar; I went to Sunday school and sang with the church choir. I didn’t really relate to all that bible stuff, but no doubt itâ€™s in my blood. Later as I walked the path of awakening, I was re-introduced to the core spiritual ideas that appear in Christianity, but also within the other main religious texts. In my â€˜conversations with Godâ€™ over the years, Jesus has regularly been a â€˜formâ€™ through which the Divine has spoken to me. And often when Christ was around there was a good deal of talk about the nature of surrender and Divine Will.
So, on reflection, it is no surprise to me that of all the places I visited in Jerusalem, it was the Garden of Gethsemane that touched me most deeply.
The Garden of Gethsemane, Jerusalem, Circa AD 33
What took place in the garden marks Maundy Thursday and begins the Passion of Christ and all the Christian events associated with the Easter Festival. While much of the Easter attention falls on the crucifixion and the resurrection, in my mind ALL of that is cradled in the teaching of surrender that was reached through Jesusâ€™ very human conversation with God; often known as his anguished prayer.
In case you donâ€™t know, The Bible tells how after the last supper, in full awareness of Judasâ€™ imminent betrayal, Jesus takes his disciples to their usual hangout, the garden of Gethsemane. As he waits there he goes off to pray, beseeching God to spare him. He basically says: â€œGod, I know all things are possible to You, so please show me if there is another way? In fact, if there IS another way please, please, please do that!â€, and yet with full authenticity he finishes his prayer with â€œand always, Thy Will be doneâ€
The lesson here is not one of personal power, it is one of non-personal awareness. Jesus does NOTÂ set a personal goal of living without suffering and make that happen, glorifying in his awesomeness when he hits his goal or entering a self-blame/critique/lesson scenario if he misses.
Rather, he shows us that you can be fully present and acknowledge the human expression (the experience of the frightened personality in this case) and still be fully connected to the true source of all decision, consequence & experience: The Infinite, The Origin, God.
You see, often â€˜Thy Will be doneâ€™ is interpreted as a personal doing. In other words, â€œItâ€™s my personal responsibility to hand it over to Godâ€.
A non-personal interpretation would be that if, like Jesus, you become fully awake to the realisation that there is no personal causality, and every perceived reality is, in fact, at consequence only to God (or ‘The Field’ if you prefer) – then you will understand that the fundamental spiritual dictate: ‘Hand it over to God’ is not an instruction for ‘you’ to ‘do’ the handing over. Rather, itâ€™s an invitation to simply realise the True source of all experience, inspiration and action.
So, Jesus understood that no matter what personal action he undertook, God was in charge. In the end; Thy Will be done. Byron Katie (author of Loving What Is), whoâ€™s term for God is â€˜realityâ€™ puts it nicely, saying â€œWhen you argue with reality you lose, but only 100% of the timeâ€.
So, this Easter, I invite you to entertain the notion that Thy Will is being done. I encourage you to notice how you are being moved, being breathed, being â€˜doneâ€™. I also invite you to honour your personal experiences and wishes in that, and be with them as kindly as possible. The Morning Prayer which I share on my Heaven & Earth CD (http://www.shop.npacentral.com/other-products/), provides a format which fully embraces these ideas, so that could be a great resource for you if youâ€™d like a little support with that.
Real Silence has nothing to do with sound. There is an inner Silence that is always available, no matter what clamber and clatter surrounds you.
I have sat with meditation “masters” who would go to great pains to control the environment, and especially noise in the room. I even remember an occasion where the teacher sent a staff member from the seminar room and out to the other side of the street. He was tasked to entreat the gentlemen who were minding their own and drilling the road, to please, in the name of Grace, shut the F*$# up… at least until we had finished meditating. As a testimony to the staff members charm and Grace, they actually DID shut the F*$# up, rather than telling him to do the same.
This dance was based on the notion that the energetics of the space are disturbed by external noise, which in turn can prohibit good meditation.
While I acknowledge that an outer reflection of silence can support ones ability to notice a true inner silence, or at least highlight the noise in your head, the association of the two can ultimately be misleading.
True Silence is never disturbed. Not by anything, and certainly not by noise. True Silence is a backdrop of total absence, against which the noise of experience, the one song, can be perceived.
Versions of the ‘Silence Please!’ dance don’t always come as grossly caricatured as the example I gave. It’s mostly a subtle thing, an irritation or a need for such-n-such to be just-so before true bliss can be realised.
If you find your sacred meditation space invaded by noise, and these controls and avoidances (cloaked as ‘honouring’) arise, then I invite you to be still… let your meditation be to notice the Silence beyond the noise. Here you will find the secret to peace in the storm of life.
Namaste. Tick-tock. Om Shanti. Woof Woof Woof. Peace &… Nee-Noorr-Neee-Nooorr. …Love my friend 😉