In this short audio with Joel Young, The Creator of The NPA Process, you will discover how the requirement for personal involvement in your healing journey has dramatically changed since the background shift in consciousness has matured over the past few years…
The historic culture of personal involvement
How things are different since the recent shift
Why purpose is context specific on the healing path
Discernment betweenÂ option and need
How one lady went from flustered stuttering to clear expression in 30 seconds
How shifting consciousness automatically shifts emotional states, limiting beliefs and unhealthy behaviours
When conscious participation IS necessary
What love’s got to do with it
Time investment: 6.5 minutes
Why Conscious Participation Is Not Always Necessary For Healing
Criticism is a part of life, and yet so many people have a hard time receiving it and they often experience a lot of hurt in the process. Even if the critics intention is to be constructive, it can be experienced as painful.
I often say that awareness is a powerful thing, so I thought I’d bring some awareness to the topic, laying out why the sensitivity is there, and howÂ NPAÂ can change the experience completely in a healthy way.
Why Are People So Sensitive When It Comes To Criticism From Others?
You might be surprised to learn that the sensitivity actually comes from defence. Criticism threatens an identity, or sense of self and as we become more attached to an identity, it becomes rigid and brittle. If you imagine your skin became rigid and brittle and then someone came up and poked it – it might well split, and then OUCH!
Taking things personally is literally attaching to an identity – you say â€˜thatâ€™s me that isâ€™, or, equally as confining, â€˜thatâ€™s NOT meâ€™. For example, a 5 year old whoâ€™s told by his Dad: â€˜Youâ€™re funny!â€™ may take that on as a fundamental character trait. Literally taking it as â€˜Funny: thatâ€™s who I amâ€™. Perhaps he grows up and builds an identity all around that idea, maybe even makes it a career! Then someone sayâ€™s â€˜youâ€™re not that funnyâ€™ and his brittle skin gets poked! Of course, different people respond differently in different situations, but he may lash out, or withdraw – either way he feels pain.
A WayÂ To Stop Taking Things Personally
Essentially, The NPA Process allows people to stop taking things personally. Now, most of us realise that taking things personally is a painful thing but few have any idea HOW to NOT take things personally – so thatâ€™s pretty awesome by itself!
But what I have come to realise is that â€˜taking things personallyâ€™ is threaded much more deeply and subtly through our human psyche and is the fundamental mechanism for creating our experiences – both wonderful and painful.
NPA has now had a huge impact on the lives of people from all over the world, from all walks of life and in a huge variety of situations. So, it turns out, that the NPA Process is an amazing tool for clearing painful experiences quickly AND allowing more expansive and joyful experiences into our lives.
Running with the brittle skin metaphor for a bit, you could say that NPA gives you healthy skin – supple yet strong, sensitive and able to feel a vast range of sensations, yet in no way tender and raw. Someone can â€˜have a pokeâ€™, but it doesnâ€™t hurt, thereâ€™s nothing to defend and it can be seen for what it is; just a perspective.
So, Should We Take NOTHINGÂ Personally?
People are often surprised when I tell them that NPA does not subscribe to the idea that taking things personally is always bad. In fact it acknowledges that fundamentally itâ€™s how we experience anything at all!
What causes us pain and suffering is that brittle-ness I spoke of earlier – that attachment to, and defence of, a transitory idea of who we are. NPA offers a â€˜multiple perspectiveâ€™ approach which I teach on the Saturday ofÂ The NPA Expansive WeekendÂ and inÂ NPA: The BridgeÂ and this can bring a great deal of fluidity and relief to peoples sense of identity.
NPA is interested in helping people notice and shift those places where brittleness and therefore pain and suffering has come about from taking things personally, where either they are clinging to something that wants to pass, or resisting something that wants to come into their life.
A Note On Clarity & Action
People sometimes misinterpret this perspective and think that I am suggesting a path of passivity that a) never acknowledges that sometimes the critic is just being an arse, and b) doesn’t allowÂ space for the criticised person to have a powerful response.
So here’s what I’ve noticed…
There isn’t one formula for a response that is appropriate in all situations. The reports I get, and my own experience tells me that NPA (and not taking things personally generally) brings a tremendous clarity and presence to the situation. From that clarity and presence strong affirmative action seems to arise naturally.
This is not the powerless, angry action of someone who is in defence and feels like ‘the victim’, it’s the actionÂ of someone who knows who they are, supports their values and yet is open to self-evaluation. It’s the action of someone humble enough to know that they are not perfect and others may have a point, yet knows their boundaries and are willing to assert them. Walking away is definitely an option. Passionate discussion of different perspectives is definitely an option. This is a HEALTHY place to come from and time again I see NPA bringing clear and healthy action into peoples lives.
If you’re someone who feels sensitive to criticism, then thank God you’re here. If EVER there was a tool for the job, NPA is it for you!
So here’s what I recommend. Get REALLY into NPA. Practice, Practice, Practice The NPA Process! Master it, play with it, just do it! BuyÂ NPA: The BridgeÂ and listen to it over and over. And/or come to a seminar, join the NPA Community!
Each time you do a process youâ€™ll be loosening up your stuck identifications, letting go of some yukky stuff, or letting in some yummy stuff, but also training in the non-personal perspective â€“ this is one of the fundamentals of letting the Non-Personal perspective come alive in you.
Having the non-personal perspective â€˜aliveâ€™ in you brings an aikido like emotional and mental agility in difficult situations – like when criticism comes your way! Your brittle skin will be nourished, hydrated and re-conditioned with healthy, wholesome non-personal goodness. It’s a wonderful thing 🙂
The air is alive with World Cup fever this month. It’s something that comes around like clockwork, fills the participant nations with high emotion and has the potential to deliver the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.
How, thought I, could I possibly relate this footie-phenomena to the joys of a non-personal perspective in a personal world?
Well, if you’ll pardon the pun, it turns out that it offers us a golden opportunity for self reflection and a shot at deeper freedom…
The other day I caught one of those ‘count down’ TV programmes, the World Cup Top 100 something-or-others, and what I noticed is that we hold distinct national ‘identities’, which directly relate to ‘what we are like’ in the World Cup.
For example – England are rubbish at penalties, Irish fans expect nothing but have the best time, Cameroon are likeable rogues, Germany are efficient and effective; always in contention etc etc.
It’sÂ intriguing that the identification each nation has taken on in relation to their World Cup experience, seems to play itself out again and again. The thing is, the same mechanism is operating in our individual lives; we each have our own ‘World Cup’ event, we have assumed an identity in relation to it, and we play out this identification as our habituated track through the event. With a sigh we are left wondering why it happened pretty much the way it always does.
Of course, if you’re a Brazil, an Argentina or a Germany in relation to your personal World Cup, then chances are you feel pretty happy with how things pan out.
However if you’re an England and find yourself constantly disappointed and longing for the glory days; or if you’re a USA who’s only really interested when you’re winning and dismissive of the whole thing when you’re not; or if you’re a Scotland thatÂ ends up with the opportunity to play much less than you feel you deserve and often end up on the sidelines gaining hollow satisfaction from seeing your ‘only slightly more talented’ sibling country falling flat on their faces again… well then, perhaps, it’s time to break the pattern and have a different experience..?
The Road To Your World Cup Heaven
So, here’s your chance for some self-inquiry. I could call it steps 1-4, but it’s oh-so-much more fun to continue the metaphor:
You’ve gotta be in it to win it, so firstly you’ll haveÂ to get through the qualifying stages. For that you’re going to need to ask yourself what your ‘World Cup’ situation is? Then to survive the group stages you’ll need to knowÂ who you are being in relation to that situation?
Next it’s knock-out time and it’ll take some fancy footwork toÂ uncover which key aspects you’ll need to leverage, to bring more freedom and ease to the situation. Pull all of this off, and you’ll make The Final, where you can use a little NPA (the ‘Pele’ of tools for this kind of thing) and score the winning goal that canÂ reset who you know yourself to be!
Defining Your â€˜World Cupâ€™ Situation
To help get you qualified for the main event, here’s some qualities that define the World Cup and which you can use metaphorically to look at the defining your personal World Cup event:
World Cup Aspects Defined:
Itâ€™s a sport, so there are winners and losers, with a series of events and a distinct outcome that defines that (add drama to taste)!
It is noteworthy on the â€˜sportingâ€™ calendar!
It happens regularly and repeatedly
Thereâ€™s a heavy investment of National identity in it. Lots of fire, passion and potential misery! (even though itâ€™s â€˜onlyâ€™ a sport)
So, to find the World Cup in your life, contemplate those aspects and ponder where this kind of pattern plays out in your life. If you want to sit back and be lead by the hand on this, skip to the bonus resources section and share the blog – then you’ll have access to a handy bendy audio that will help find your personal World Cup.
Who Are You In Relation To That Situation?
Once you’ve got a specific situation in mind it’s time to take an objective look at how it plays out. Imagine that it’s not you, not your family, not your life – just a TV drama. Ask yourself:
How does it usually play out?
What role does my character play throughout? (Think in terms of archetype, stereotypes or symbolically)
What role does my character end up in?
What judgements are my character making?
Is there a clear emotional pathway and/or a switch point? (eg. a give up point, an explosion point, an impatience-leads-to-carelessness point)
Just watch the movie and contemplate these questions, getting a general sense of the role you play and how that pattern shows up.
A Couple Of Examples
Here’s a couple of examples to give you the idea…
The Children’s Clear Up Challenge
Your ‘World Cup’ event might be asking your kids to tidy their rooms? You notice you leave the asking for as long as possible – perhaps its a 4 week cycle. You seem uncharacteristically het up about it and the kids throw all kind of strops. You want to be ‘strong Mum/Dad’ but the tears and tantrums always seem to take the juice from the legs. You hit the crossbar, miss the goal – it never quite seems to go the way you want it. When it comes to this – you just seem to play out the role of the ‘ineffective parent’, and you feel disproportionately crushed.
The Financial Ex-Factor
It’s that time again when you need to ask your ex-husband for more money for the kids. It’s always more of a drama than other conversations you have with him. You find yourself getting nervous before you call him, distrustful thoughts enter your mind, then angry thoughts – you know you play your best game when you’re centred, but you can’t help feeling meek. You fight the feeling and get angry with yourself – you know you’ve a perfect right to ask. Then you call. Sometimes he’s just fine and agrees and what a huge relief. But sometimes there’s a slight hesitation from him, a hint of resistance and you explode – you accuse him of sleight of hand with the finances, you’ve slipped into the role of ‘hysterical ex-wife’, a ‘victim’ – Â it’s an own goal – you’re devastated and bewildered… you don’t even think that stuff… ouch.
And fella’s on the other side of this one – you know there’s equally complex emotions and identities at play here for you too! â™¥
Shifting Identities with NPA
NPA is awesome for shifting identities. The NPA vernacular for them is ‘cookie cutters’ and they come in all shapes and sizes. Simply having an awareness of what you’re up to and the roles you fall into in your personal World Cup is an empowering thing and awareness alone for sure can get things moving. However, super charging with non-personal awareness has a way of releasing these traditionally sticky identities at the speed of light!
So now you’ve got the situation nicely defined, you can apply some NPA, and here’s some simple ways to do that:
4 Steps For Experienced NPA-ers:
1) Use a spew from the set up questions and contemplations in section 1 (the qualifying stage) to get a situational cookie cutter. Self elicit in your preferred way and chooseÂ the most animated cookie cutter. 2) Ask yourself: In relation to [Situational CC], who or what are you being? 3) Spew and elicit the most animated cookie cutter(s) 4) Run those cookie cutters through the NPA Process.
Simple Instructions For Newbies & Beginner NPA-ers:
Simply share this article via the bonus box and you will get access to a 6 min video that will take you through how to do the process. There will also be an outline of the NPA Process words themselves. There’s a ‘gap’ in the process where you insert the cookie cutter you are using.
If you’re a newbie simply use whatever role or roles you came up with that you play as your ‘cookie cutter’.
So in the examples I gave above, the cookie cutter to use for The Children’s Clear Up Challenge would be [ineffective parent]. And for The Financial Ex-Factor, there are two: [hysterical ex-wife] & [victim], requiring two processes. Obviously, it’s going to be whatever role you are seeing yourself in, not the examples. Just put that in the process, say the 6 lines, including those words out loud and see what happens.
If you want to understand all those ‘Experienced NPA-ers’ terms and do really graceful NPA, you’ll need to get some training via our comprehensive audio programmeNPA: The Bridgeor by attending anEvent. You can also get direct assistance from me, and make a huge difference in your lifeHERE.
Bonus Resources For Sharing
I’d love you to share this article on your social networks, and doing so will give you instant access to the NPA Basic Training video, The NPA Process words AND a guided elicitation to help you through steps 1 & 2 described above.
NPA Basic Training
Words For The NPA Process
The NPA Process (c) Joel Young 2007 onwards
Your Guided Elicitation
Hit play and enjoy!
Hi, this is Joel Young, the creator & custodian of NPA. Thanks for sharing the blog. This audio will give you a helping hand to define aÂ situation in life which is your personal world cup. Make sure you’re in a safe place to do this – neither driving nor using heavy machinery. So let’s begin.
Get yourself comfortable and take a deep breath, sigh it out… and as you relax, and allow yourself to contemplate the movie of your day to day life, knowing that the answer will find you, you might wonder what situation, or set of events seems to happen over and over in the same way?
The situation that pops effortlessly into your conscious awareness now, will be one that stands out as somehow important to you. Even though it might seem trivial in the scheme of things, the outcome in this situation inspires a lot of passion â€“ it matters somehow â€“ even if you donâ€™t know why? And it might be something you get very heated about?
Perhaps you notice, that if or when the outcome goes your way â€“ you feel elated. However – if or when the outcome doesn’t go your way â€“ you feel incredibly deflated, or perhaps even furious! You may have noticed that each time this situation occurs, it plays out in much the same way, with perhaps a few minor deviations from the norm?
So, as you relax and allow yourself to contemplate the movie of your day to day life â€“ what situation is coming into your awareness? Be light and open – it’s not an exact science, and doesn’t have to tick every box – just trust that you can work with whatever situation is showing up, or the one you simply decide to pick… When you’re ready, make a note of the situation, a simple reference.
OK, so let’s take it to the next step…
With that specific situation in mind you can now take an objective look at how it plays out. Watch it play out on a screen. Imagine that it’s not you, not your family, not your life – just a TV drama and as it plays out, contemplate what role your character plays throughout. Let the label for the role find you – it can just pop into your mind. It might come as anÂ archetype, like victim, martyr or rebel. It might come as a stereotype like geek, bread winner, drama queen, bully or perhaps as a judgement like dork, big kid, idiot, pathetic person… just be open and trust whatever pops in. Write it down – for newbies – that’s your cookie cutter!
Once you’ve run it through the process, let me know what you experience in the comments and be sure to visit our main site at NonPersonalAwareness.com
Artist credit: World Cup Selfie by Emma Allen – http://www.emmaallen.org/gallery/
We hold distinct national ‘identities’, which directly relate to ‘what we are like’ in the World Cup. via @JoelYoungNPA
It’s intriguing that the identification that nations take on in relation to the World Cup, play themselves out repeatedly. via @JoelYoungNPA
In our individual lives; we each have our own ‘World Cup’ event.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
NPA is The ‘Pele’ of transformational tools :0) Â via @JoelYoungNPA
Score the winning goal that can reset who you know yourself to be! via @JoelYoungNPA
NPA is awesome for shifting identities. via @JoelYoungNPA
Having an awareness of what you’re up to and the roles you fall into is an empowering thing. via @JoelYoungNPA
Non-personal awareness has a way of releasing these traditionally sticky identities at the speed of light! via @JoelYoungNPA
Trust that you can work with whatever situation is showing up. via @JoelYoungNPA
NPA embraces and expresses one of my favourite paradoxes in the realm of healing, transformation, consciousness and love.
In this Musing on NPA & Life I want to lay it out for you, and give you an insight into, what I have come to understand is, THE biggest gift you can bring to any healing or facilitation situation.
“I’m Very Grateful”
This week I received an email from a client who wanted to express the gratitude she felt for the sessions we have been having, and offer a testimonial to share with others what she felt she experienced with me and how it has helped her.
The clue to the ‘secret ingredient’ is in here, so have a read and I’ll break it down for you after…
“WorkingÂ with Joel I have been surprised by, and so appreciated, the tender compassion and acceptanceÂ that he has brought to each session.Â He offered a genuine loving space withÂ no judgement; even of feelings I had previously felt sooo ashamed of.
In the pastÂ I have experiencedÂ aÂ certainÂ level ofÂ acceptance with facilitatorsÂ butÂ when changeÂ hasn’t come or stuckness hasÂ shown up,Â the focus on ‘moving on’ or changing has taken over.
Joel’s approach has the flavour of open-handed compassion and shows a level of acceptance which feels as if it comes very naturally from him. For me though, it was a very new experience and I feel that those qualities have been key to me moving on as I have.Â Those more tender/”dark”/”stuck” feelings, having beenÂ offered all theÂ time and space they neededÂ to feel safe and relax, let down their defences and change of their own accord.
Here I am a few months later finding myselfÂ inÂ a more peaceful and happy place! Feeling more able to deal with life, with more space and compassion now coming from within me! yeah!! I’m very grateful.”
Jane Griffin, Leicester, UK
The Secret Ingredient
SoÂ what was Jane experiencing ‘coming naturally from me’? She states; compassion, acceptance, genuine loving space, no judgement. These are qualities which naturally arise from the secret ingredient but are not the secret ingredient itself.
The thing I love most about NPA; the thing that practising it has trained into me, into my approach to working with clients and into my life in general is it’s agenda-less-ness. OK, so that’s not, strictly speaking, a real word but it points to the fact that NPA, in it’s pure form, comes with no agenda. And having NO agenda IS the secret ingredient.
AndÂ there-in lies the paradox, and the challenge for many a would-be power-user of NPA, and many a fine transformational practitioner. The question goes: “Surely if someone is paying me money to get some kind of outcome or result – shouldn’t I be doing everything in my power to get them there? Or at least to help them getthemselvesthere!!??”
The trouble is, all that “I, me, them, their, there” stuff is based on personal power. Personal power requires a person. Persons come with an agenda. Agenda’s come with timelines, outcomes, comparisons, judgements, intentions… that leads to right ways and wrong ways both overt and covert… that leads to dogma and dogma leads to blindness… I think you get the idea.
NPA invites you to:
Express yourself in your natural way.
To say a few simple lines.
To notice what happens (if anything).
That’s it. No agenda.
So How Does That Consistently Facilitate Healing?
Let’s break it down
The problem with agendas – even ones with positive intent, even subtle energetic easily self-deniable ones – is that they apply pressure towards the intended outcome or route. Pressure tends to invoke resistance, resistance leads to persistence and before you know it you’re in a world of friction and potential stuckness. That can lead to further pressure in support of the agenda and so begins an un-helpful loop.
Jane illustrates it when she says, “In the pastÂ I have experiencedÂ aÂ certainÂ level ofÂ acceptance with facilitators” – in other words, there was an agenda with the facilitator, and she goes on to say how the agenda kicks up a gear, “butÂ when changeÂ hasn’t come or stuckness hasÂ shown up,Â the focus on ‘moving on’ or changing has taken over.”
As you train more in the art of using NPA, you’ll begin to appreciate the importance and power of it’s agenda-less-ness. The power in NPA is NON-personal; as you get out of the way (drop the agenda) things begin to resolve all by themselves… in wonderful, effortless and sometimes miraculous ways.
Working agenda-less-ly with Jane meant that we met in a state of mutual, gentle discovery. It was like watching a flower blossom… and how personally are you involved in that process?
As Jane put it, “Those more tender/”dark”/”stuck” feelings, having beenÂ offered all theÂ time and space they neededÂ to feel safe and relax, let down their defences and change of their own accord.”
They(the feelings) let down theirdefences and changed of their own accord… And THAT is how having no agenda consistently facilitates healing, transformation, evolutions in consciousness and love.
Let It Come Alive
I have found that people who bathe themselves in the non-personal perspective at The NPA Expansive Weekend and beyond, find that it naturally comes alive in them, and with that dogma’s and agenda’s fall away. They still, of course, are available to passing intentions, outcome notions and the like, but rather than wearing them as uniform, they are passing fancy dress outfits that serve to raise a smile, warm the heart, lift a weight, disarm or arm; they come, and are used when useful and kind, and are discarded effortlessly as the truth of the moment dictates.
In the end it comes down to this, “Less ‘you-who-knows’ and more ‘Life-will-show’, invites the magic moment”
“Having NO agenda IS the secret ingredient”Â via @JoelYoungNPAÂ
“Dogma leads to blindness”Â via @JoelYoungNPAÂ
“NPA invites you to express yourself in your natural way”Â via @JoelYoungNPAÂ
“The problem with agendas is that they apply pressureÂ towardsÂ the intended outcome or route”Â via @JoelYoungNPA
“As YOUÂ get out of the way, things begin to resolve all by themselves”Â via @JoelYoungNPA
“We met in a state of mutual, gentle discovery. It was like watching a flower blossom…” via @JoelYoungNPA
“Having no agenda consistently facilitates healing, transformation, evolutions in consciousness and love”Â via @JoelYoungNPA
“Less ‘you-who-knows’ and more ‘Life-will-show’, invites the magic moment”Â via @JoelYoungNPA
This Easter musing on NPA & Life takes a good look at the idea of â€˜Thy Will be doneâ€™. From a Christian-centric Easter perspective and the story of Jesus in The Garden of Gethsemane – the events that lead to The Passion of Christ – through to a very non-personal perspective on the idea of â€˜handing it over to Godâ€™.
So letâ€™s crack open this sweet egg, and take a ride down the Easter Bunny holeâ€¦
The Garden of Gethsemane, Jerusalem, 2008
In 2008 I had the privilege of teaching the first ever Journey Intensive Weekend for Brandon Bays in Israel. During that trip I had the opportunity to visit Jerusalem â€“ an opportunity I was NOT going to miss.
I was raised Christian, my Grandpa was a Vicar; I went to Sunday school and sang with the church choir. I didn’t really relate to all that bible stuff, but no doubt itâ€™s in my blood. Later as I walked the path of awakening, I was re-introduced to the core spiritual ideas that appear in Christianity, but also within the other main religious texts. In my â€˜conversations with Godâ€™ over the years, Jesus has regularly been a â€˜formâ€™ through which the Divine has spoken to me. And often when Christ was around there was a good deal of talk about the nature of surrender and Divine Will.
So, on reflection, it is no surprise to me that of all the places I visited in Jerusalem, it was the Garden of Gethsemane that touched me most deeply.
The Garden of Gethsemane, Jerusalem, Circa AD 33
What took place in the garden marks Maundy Thursday and begins the Passion of Christ and all the Christian events associated with the Easter Festival. While much of the Easter attention falls on the crucifixion and the resurrection, in my mind ALL of that is cradled in the teaching of surrender that was reached through Jesusâ€™ very human conversation with God; often known as his anguished prayer.
In case you donâ€™t know, The Bible tells how after the last supper, in full awareness of Judasâ€™ imminent betrayal, Jesus takes his disciples to their usual hangout, the garden of Gethsemane. As he waits there he goes off to pray, beseeching God to spare him. He basically says: â€œGod, I know all things are possible to You, so please show me if there is another way? In fact, if there IS another way please, please, please do that!â€, and yet with full authenticity he finishes his prayer with â€œand always, Thy Will be doneâ€
The lesson here is not one of personal power, it is one of non-personal awareness. Jesus does NOTÂ set a personal goal of living without suffering and make that happen, glorifying in his awesomeness when he hits his goal or entering a self-blame/critique/lesson scenario if he misses.
Rather, he shows us that you can be fully present and acknowledge the human expression (the experience of the frightened personality in this case) and still be fully connected to the true source of all decision, consequence & experience: The Infinite, The Origin, God.
You see, often â€˜Thy Will be doneâ€™ is interpreted as a personal doing. In other words, â€œItâ€™s my personal responsibility to hand it over to Godâ€.
A non-personal interpretation would be that if, like Jesus, you become fully awake to the realisation that there is no personal causality, and every perceived reality is, in fact, at consequence only to God (or ‘The Field’ if you prefer) – then you will understand that the fundamental spiritual dictate: ‘Hand it over to God’ is not an instruction for ‘you’ to ‘do’ the handing over. Rather, itâ€™s an invitation to simply realise the True source of all experience, inspiration and action.
So, Jesus understood that no matter what personal action he undertook, God was in charge. In the end; Thy Will be done. Byron Katie (author of Loving What Is), whoâ€™s term for God is â€˜realityâ€™ puts it nicely, saying â€œWhen you argue with reality you lose, but only 100% of the timeâ€.
So, this Easter, I invite you to entertain the notion that Thy Will is being done. I encourage you to notice how you are being moved, being breathed, being â€˜doneâ€™. I also invite you to honour your personal experiences and wishes in that, and be with them as kindly as possible. The Morning Prayer which I share on my Heaven & Earth CD (http://www.shop.npacentral.com/other-products/), provides a format which fully embraces these ideas, so that could be a great resource for you if youâ€™d like a little support with that.
Thought I’d get 2014 rolling with a bit of hard-core spiritual heresy, and happened across some video footage from a panel talk I did with two excellent non-personal friends in Toronto last year.
So, here’s an extract from: “An Evening of Dynamic Conversation on The New Wave of Non-Personal Development”
It’s moderated by Dave Clark (President of the publishing agency – Solutions Inc.), and I was joined by Arnold Timmerman (Author of Leadingship – Exploring the essence of leadership dynamics) and Philip Shepherd (Author of New World, New Self – Coming to our senses in the 21st century).
Arnold & I had talked many times about doing an event like this, and it happened that our schedules coincided in Canada last May. It was a great bonus to be joined by Philip and have an opportunity to offer multiple takes on the non-personal perspective, spirituality and personal development.
Show Me The Heresy…
The particular aspect of heresy we express in this clip, is on the topic of The Ego. We take a look at where the non-personal perspective on it differs from much of the popular personal growth and spiritual dogma that’s fashionable these days.
In this extract the conversation addresses topics like…
What is the nature of our authentic selves and who we think we are?
What is the impact of self inquiry on who we think are?
Does the Ego disappear when you become present?
How does the Ego relate to the human condition and Divinity?
Can you actually get rid of the ego?
What is the mechanism that creates the ego?
What is the mechanism that creates states of enlightenment?
What is the true nature of Unconditional Love?
How does conscious experiencing effect your life’s purpose?
It’s amazing what you can cover in a little over 6 minutes.
Enjoy The Video…
You Can Quote Us…
“When you start self-inquiry, you’ll find that who we are is much more fluid than we think it might be” Arnold Timmerman
“I don’t even think about ‘is my ego involved or isn’t it’ – I want to be fully present and whole” Philip Shepherd
“The minute you start making anything in your experience bad or wrong you instantly step out of the availability of your wholeness” Joel Young
Remembering to not take things personally is a very freeing perspective.
However, in the stressy moments where you could most benefit from this awareness, it can be a challenge to truly connect to it. This, of course, is one of the areas where using The NPA Process can really help you! :0)
That being said, as the busy festive season presents intense opportunities to take things personally and stress out, I thought I’d make a list of some common situations where you might be tempted to make it personal.
The list is written as a set of invitations to remember that it’s NOT personal. Having this thought ‘pre-loaded’ in your awareness will help you feel much freer, easier and able to entertain a genuine smile. Think of it as preventative medicine as you read them and drink in the notion that you can easily remember that it’s not personal should any of these situations occur.
Get Set For A Christmas without Taking Things Personally…
“This video programme gives you the core training for The NPA Process so you can start taking yourself from triggered states and stress to centred-ness and peace in as little as 45 seconds…”
1. When you’re jostled in the supermarket aisle, remember: It’s Not Personal 2. Shopping frenzy is in the air… remember: It’s Not Personal 3. If someone sends harsh words your way, remember that fundamentally It’s Not Personal ♥ 4. If you didn’t get a snog at the Christmas party, remember: It’s Not Personal ;0) 5. If you get a headache, remember: It’s Not Personal 6. If you’re hit with a bug or the flu this Christmas, remember: It’s Not Personal ♥
7. If the kids don’t express eternal gratitude remember: It’s Not Personal ;0) 8. If you don’t feel very well on the big day, remember: It’s Not Personal ♥ 9. When your mother makes one of her remarks, remember: It’s Not Personal 10. If you don’t win any of the cracker pull-offs… remember It’s Not Personal ;0) 11. When your family get fractious over Christmas, remember: It’s Not Personal
12. If they forgot to call you, remember: It’s Not Personal ♥ 13. As you nurse a hangover, remember: It’s Not Personal ;0) 14. If you’re stuck in Boxing Day traffic, remember: It’s Not Personal
Have a Merry Christmas – and remember: It’s Not Personal!
In my many years of self-healing and working with countless clients, I noticed that most painful behaviours were born from ‘child consciousness’ or young identities within us that are looking for something… Love, protection, acknowledgement, understanding etc etc…
The child energy seeks parental energy… And yet we tend to “personalise” parental energy, and therefore limit it’s origin to our parents and carers.
An Unmet Need
So if the flow of parental energy through these fine people is shaped in a way that didn’t connect with our various child energies, an unmet need is generated which becomes a deep and unfulfilled longing.
Our proclivity to personalise the source of our fulfillment generally puts us on a path that seeks for it directly from them. Or, as we move through life, from surrogates like spouses or even our own children. Sometimes there’s a blessing, and through another the need is met, is able to be fully received and the spirit moves forward.
But for the most part the seeking patterns we adopt, the unresourcefulness of those we beseech or the sadly inadequate communication skills of either party leaves the longing unmet. Our frustration and sense of failure adds insult to injury. Confused and with no alternative we soldier on, deeper into unfulfilling territory.
The Good News
The good news is:Â If you parent yourself in all the ways you wish you had been parented, then Love will run amok in your heart, where need once did.
Through the notion of self-parenting I was liberated from my personal history and then discovered some GREAT news! Parental energy is non-personal and can joyfully flow through you to your child energies in exquisitely precise ways.
One way is with an NPA tool that is taught at The NPA Expansive Weekend and I use a lot in my sessions called the ‘Parental Integration Frame’. In an elegant and easy way it allows me to elicit your hidden perspective on what needs to happen (in the parental energies) in order to create the ideal parental conditions. Then you can discover and access what’s been truly longed for but never fulfilled. Using NPA we then work to balance and shift the parental energies to meet those conditions, allowing the longing to be experienced and fully received.
Although this process is simple and quick (It takes less than half an hour) it can be highly emotional and has a huge impact on people’s lives. The process doesn’t ask you to get into the historical story of what should or shouldn’t have happened, it cuts straight to core of what truly matters to you, as the child of somebody; then, now and always.
The Foundation Of Our Wellbeing
Our parental energies, in many ways, are the foundation of our wellbeing. It took me a lotof journaling, crying, story telling, blaming, journey processing and relationship breaking before it dawned on me that I could parent myself. Coming up with a simple way to share that has just been the icing on the cake.
The Parental Integration Frame doesn’t require you to figure out what conditions are required to allow your longing to land in you. It uses a simple technique to bypass the analytical mind which, I have found, makes for a vastly accelerated healing.
Nonetheless I began self-parenting evenbefore I created the Integration Frame and so I want to leave you with an inquiry – something to sit with and help you down the road of self-parenting.
Contemplate this inquiry…
“What is the essence of what my inner child longs for?”
Then you might like to ask yourself:
“How might I give that to myself?” and
“When would be a good time?”
I’d love to hear your answers in the comments below and, of course, any questions.
I also invite you to share (see the special bonus for that below) x
Often-times in the world of healing and personal growth you may be told, or have it implied, that a particular set of conditions mustbe met, a certain route mustbe taken or a specific approach or method is the only“real” way to heal or shift your life.
A classic example is the idea that we must resolve painful experiences from the past in order to be free for a better future. While that may be a truly powerful ‘vehicle’ for the shift that suits the reality constructs of millions, there are also millions who have made, and will make, equivalent shifts with no need to recourse to their personal history.
“A” Way, Not “THE” Way
While I offer the non-personal perspective with passion and a heartfelt beleif in its potential value to those that connect with it, I am always keen to say that NPA is “A” way, not “THE” way.
It is my view that a key gift of this Human life experience is variety– many possible routes to every outcome. There are always options and in a world still full of dictatorial expressions it boils down to this:
The Self ultimately, is adaptable and is non-personal, like an interactive broadcast from YOU-niversal FM.
Who you perceive yourself to be, necessarily, is the receiving apparatus. The sensory apparatus through which the experience of Self is perceived.
And this apparatus is made up of mass produced parts – physical bodies and all it’s bits [hardware], and the ‘psychological’ parts – a smorgasbord of non-exclusive self-concepts [soft-ware apps].
Bolting all these together in different configurations will create subtle (and not so subtle) differences in the experience and expression of the Self-broadcast, but the Self-broadcast ultimately IS what it IS.
A Panasonic tv and a Samsung tv may generate slightly different “expressions”, different output (picture quality, sound etc.) as it receives, interprets and expresses the current broadcast from BBC1. And yet the broadcast is the broadcast.
So in the end, keep your hardware cared for, serviced and up-to-date, upgrade your software wisely and enjoy the experience of the Self-broadcast as you perceive, process and express it for the life of this human device.
If this moves, stirs, touches or intrigues you… please share with your freinds :0)