I was working with a client last week and got into some interesting territory around cravings she was experiencing. Inevitably, we looked at it through the lens of non-personal awareness. One of the hall marks of the non-personal perspective is to switch from a personalised view point to a relational one.
It was very powerful for her to take the following steps when the cravings came calling.
But, first off, it bears saying that some cravings are just natural hunger, and some are telling you that you’re deficient in some nutrient, so not all of them are ‘unhealthy’. This approach is for those cravings you know to be unhealthy…
THE 5 STEPS
1) Align with the personalised truth of the moment…
When a craving hits you, it’s been embodied, so you have personalised the energy. To put that another way, you have claimed the craving as yours and made it part of yourself. I often espouse the value of ‘Starting where you are’, it ground you into the current reality and means your movement from there is more connected and so, more impactful. You can do this with a simple statement: “I have a craving”
2) Step into the non-personal, relational perspective…
You are not, in fact, the craving. That might seem like an obvious statement but it’s so automatic to personalise these independent energies, that we often miss the blindingly obvious. A simple statement will help you move from the personalised, to the non-personalised perspective: “There is a craving”
3) Understand that an unhealthy craving is driven by pain…
This is true of any imbalanced behaviour – underlying it is some form of pain, driving a misdirected behavioural response, which is what marks it as ‘unhealthy’. So now you have untangled yourself from the energy of the craving in step two, you can begin to see this more clearly. A statement will help you align with this perspective: “The craving is in pain”
4) Align yourself with compassion for the craving…
This is not about figuring out what the pain is, analysing it or fixing it. Simply allowing yourself to acknowledge that the craving is a distinct energy and it is in pain generally elicits your natural human response of compassion, and compassion is an empowering perspective for you personally. There’s no statement as such here, but if compassion isn’t coming naturally, try imagining the craving as a little puppy in pain… that usually does the trick 😉
5) Open the possibility of another action or behavioural response…
An unhealthy craving is fixated on a particular behaviour or action as the antidote to it’s pain – be that eating, smoking or whatever. When you ‘give in to’ or are ‘taken over by’ it, when you personally identify with it, you are subject to that belief and behaviour. Now that you have untangled from it and are in a space of compassion, you’re in a much stronger place to open the doors of possibility. Again this is not about figuring out what that is – in the non-personal the ‘mechanisms’ are given space to find you. The point is to align you, and the relational space between you and the craving, with the energy of option rather than a singular and unhealthy route. In other words, it puts possibility in the pot. A simple statement will do this: “There is another way”
As I said, my client found this incredibly helpful, so I thought I would share it with you and hope that it makes a difference to your life experience. I’d love to hear what you experience, so please share in the comments below… and share it on social media if you feel your friends and those in your network could benefit from it.
In this short audio with Joel Young, The Creator of The NPA Process, you will discover how the requirement for personal involvement in your healing journey has dramatically changed since the background shift in consciousness has matured over the past few years…
Joel explains…
The historic culture of personal involvement
How things are different since the recent shift
Why purpose is context specific on the healing path
Discernment between option and need
How one lady went from flustered stuttering to clear expression in 30 seconds
How shifting consciousness automatically shifts emotional states, limiting beliefs and unhealthy behaviours
When conscious participation IS necessary
What love’s got to do with it
Time investment: 6.5 minutes
Why Conscious Participation Is Not Always Necessary For Healing
Criticism is a part of life, and yet so many people have a hard time receiving it and they often experience a lot of hurt in the process. Even if the critics intention is to be constructive, it can be experienced as painful.
I often say that awareness is a powerful thing, so I thought I’d bring some awareness to the topic, laying out why the sensitivity is there, and how NPA can change the experience completely in a healthy way.
Why Are People So Sensitive When It Comes To Criticism From Others?
You might be surprised to learn that the sensitivity actually comes from defence. Criticism threatens an identity, or sense of self and as we become more attached to an identity, it becomes rigid and brittle. If you imagine your skin became rigid and brittle and then someone came up and poked it – it might well split, and then OUCH!
Taking things personally is literally attaching to an identity – you say ‘that’s me that is’, or, equally as confining, ‘that’s NOT me’. For example, a 5 year old who’s told by his Dad: ‘You’re funny!’ may take that on as a fundamental character trait. Literally taking it as ‘Funny: that’s who I am’. Perhaps he grows up and builds an identity all around that idea, maybe even makes it a career! Then someone say’s ‘you’re not that funny’ and his brittle skin gets poked! Of course, different people respond differently in different situations, but he may lash out, or withdraw – either way he feels pain.
A Way To Stop Taking Things Personally
Essentially, The NPA Process allows people to stop taking things personally. Now, most of us realise that taking things personally is a painful thing but few have any idea HOW to NOT take things personally – so that’s pretty awesome by itself!
But what I have come to realise is that ‘taking things personally’ is threaded much more deeply and subtly through our human psyche and is the fundamental mechanism for creating our experiences – both wonderful and painful.
NPA has now had a huge impact on the lives of people from all over the world, from all walks of life and in a huge variety of situations. So, it turns out, that the NPA Process is an amazing tool for clearing painful experiences quickly AND allowing more expansive and joyful experiences into our lives.
Running with the brittle skin metaphor for a bit, you could say that NPA gives you healthy skin – supple yet strong, sensitive and able to feel a vast range of sensations, yet in no way tender and raw. Someone can ‘have a poke’, but it doesn’t hurt, there’s nothing to defend and it can be seen for what it is; just a perspective.
So, Should We Take NOTHINGÂ Personally?
People are often surprised when I tell them that NPA does not subscribe to the idea that taking things personally is always bad. In fact it acknowledges that fundamentally it’s how we experience anything at all!
What causes us pain and suffering is that brittle-ness I spoke of earlier – that attachment to, and defence of, a transitory idea of who we are. NPA offers a ‘multiple perspective’ approach which I teach on the Saturday of The NPA Expansive Weekend and in NPA: The Bridge and this can bring a great deal of fluidity and relief to peoples sense of identity.
NPA is interested in helping people notice and shift those places where brittleness and therefore pain and suffering has come about from taking things personally, where either they are clinging to something that wants to pass, or resisting something that wants to come into their life.
A Note On Clarity & Action
People sometimes misinterpret this perspective and think that I am suggesting a path of passivity that a) never acknowledges that sometimes the critic is just being an arse, and b) doesn’t allow space for the criticised person to have a powerful response.
So here’s what I’ve noticed…
There isn’t one formula for a response that is appropriate in all situations. The reports I get, and my own experience tells me that NPA (and not taking things personally generally) brings a tremendous clarity and presence to the situation. From that clarity and presence strong affirmative action seems to arise naturally.
This is not the powerless, angry action of someone who is in defence and feels like ‘the victim’, it’s the action of someone who knows who they are, supports their values and yet is open to self-evaluation. It’s the action of someone humble enough to know that they are not perfect and others may have a point, yet knows their boundaries and are willing to assert them. Walking away is definitely an option. Passionate discussion of different perspectives is definitely an option. This is a HEALTHY place to come from and time again I see NPA bringing clear and healthy action into peoples lives.
Criticism Aikido
If you’re someone who feels sensitive to criticism, then thank God you’re here. If EVER there was a tool for the job, NPA is it for you!
So here’s what I recommend. Get REALLY into NPA. Practice, Practice, Practice The NPA Process! Master it, play with it, just do it! Buy NPA: The Bridge and listen to it over and over. And/or come to a seminar, join the NPA Community!
Each time you do a process you’ll be loosening up your stuck identifications, letting go of some yukky stuff, or letting in some yummy stuff, but also training in the non-personal perspective – this is one of the fundamentals of letting the Non-Personal perspective come alive in you.
Having the non-personal perspective ‘alive’ in you brings an aikido like emotional and mental agility in difficult situations – like when criticism comes your way! Your brittle skin will be nourished, hydrated and re-conditioned with healthy, wholesome non-personal goodness. It’s a wonderful thing 🙂
Have you ever been in a situation where the people around you are in an absolute stink? A prolonged state of ‘negativity’ where it seems like nothing you say or do, no matter how well intentioned, can encouraged them to come back into their heart?
My name is Joel Young and I’m the creator
of The NPA Process, a beautifully simple way to stop taking things personally.
This video addresses the issue of dealing with intense negativity in terms of basic human interaction. It comes in the understanding that human relations are often where our deepest crap hits the proverbial fan, rarely stopping to consider the sanitised suggestions proffered by our more enlightened aspects.
I’ve experienced this many many times in my life and I’ve learned some valuable lessons along the way.
I’m not generally big on formulas, but it IS nice to have some options.
So here’s a list of 10 things I’d like to share with you, that I’ve found helpful when I’m dealing with intense negativity. If you can assimilate even one of them in the heat of the moment, you’ll be doing yourself (and the other person) a big favour.
So let’s get started…
1. Re-Think The Label ‘Negativity’
When you label someones expressions as ‘negative’ you enter dangerous territory.
Now, It’s not that I’m saying there’s anything intrinsically bad or wrong with the term negativity, I’m simply suggesting you examine what you are really saying when you use it, and how that impacts your experience: your thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
I could say a LOT about this, but the main point I want to highlight is that in the context of heated interactions: Watch out for the tendency to fall into the trap of using the term ‘negativity’ as one of the following: a judgement, a defence, an attack from a position of superior enlightenment, to assert yourself as a victim, to negate their perspective or deny their experience.
All of those will cause YOU pain and I’m encouraging you to be as aware as possible about how YOUR label for THEIR experience impacts YOUR experience.
When we’re uncomfortable with someone else’s expression, it’s very easy to believe the notion that they ought to be different than they are – after all, YOU can see that they would be much happier if they only followed your helpful advice and, of course, it would certainly be easier for you!
Again, I’m not saying that your helpful insights aren’t awesome, and if they did do what’s bleedin’ obvious to you, perhaps they would feel a whole lot better!
The slippery slope here is when you become attached to your way and then suddenly you have an agenda.
Agenda’s limit possibilities. They can make you go deaf & blind to the other person, to yourself and tend to create strong undercurrents of pressure to have themselves fulfilled.
Pressure and heat is exactly what you need for an explosion – just sayin’
The truth is that they need to be where they are right now – at least for now. And as humans we tend to resist when our natural pace is forced.
There’ll be time for suggestions or for offering a perspective or for finding a way through that works for them (whether you agree with it or not) – and that time might not be now.
When you drop your agenda, you’ll be more available to notice that moment when it arises.
3. Don’t Take It Personally
Well, of course, this list would not be complete without a reference to NPA would it?
So… Lots of wise sages have advised people not to take these things personally – and trust me it’s good advice!
I have dedicated nearly a decade of my life to sharing the multifaceted and fundamentally non-personal nature of reality… And sometimes, especially in these situations, it comes down to this: It’s just not about you!
Of course, when someone’s deepest doo doo is being flung in your face, it can be easier said than done to not take it personally, but fortunately the human race now has The NPA Process which gives us a simple and effective way to cut through the sh*t (pun intended) and come up smelling of roses (I may have overdone and/or mixed my metaphors – but you get the point!).
I’ve experienced it myself AND had amazing feedback from so many other people who have stepped out of a heated situation, taken themselves through an NPA Process and found they really CAN stop taking it personally and become freer to act from a wholesome place.
On my website (see below) you’ll find a free and simple exercise called ‘Don’t Take Them Personally’. It will show you exactly how to use The NPA Process in these situations and I highly recommend you get it.
GET THE “DON’T TAKE THEM PERSONALLY†EXERCISE
Learn how you can feel clear and centred around the people in your life who say or do things that cause you stress
This suggestion may seem hard to swallow, and it often requires us to be able to genuinely get the hang of suggestions 1, 2 & 3 – so: drop the label of negativity, drop the agenda and not take it personally – before we’re able to really listen. But when you DO really listen, magic can happen.
There can be lots of ‘faux’ listening going on, especially where an agenda is running in the background – and in fact, that is not listening.
Truly listening can be miraculous, but listening in order to get a miracle – well, we’re back to agenda again :p
Listening without an agenda is just that. Listening. Nothing added. You might be amazed what gets said when they realise you’re really listening.
5. Listen To You
There’s a saying that ‘misery loves company’ which points to our very natural human longing for agreement. In the heat of their deepest pain people often seek agreement from those around them.
And when I say seek, as you know, it often comes out as demand right?
Now, Our culture is full of mixed messages in this arena.
We’re taught, for example: “It is kind and loving to sympathise and support someone in their painful storiesâ€
This is something many would agree with, and it’s my opinion that there IS a place for this in the bish bosh of day to day human bonding. Validation can be an important part of dialogue.
Conversely we are told “where attention goes energy flowsâ€, which in this context is kind of a rebranding of “don’t throw fuel on the fireâ€. In other words, if you give their negativity attention it will just get worse.
Then there’s the old chestnut: “If I don’t put ’em straight they’ll never learn  And sometimes a strong alternative perspective is exactly what’s needed…
The reality is, there’s no ONE approach that will be right for all situations, and you can’t truly know how the other person will respond whichever path you choose. To sympathise, to challenge, to ignore, to confront…? What to do? What to do?
All you can do is listen to you as best you can, and follow those inner prompts, knowing that they, ultimately, come from a wider awareness. Plus, this way, at least you stay with yourself.
6. Ask Yourself: Is It Kind To Me?
This inner inquiry came to me in the middle of a drawn out domestic some years ago.
Kindness has always been important to me and the question I used to ask was focused very much in the outward direction. “What’s the kind thing for me to do†would be translated as “how can I express kindness towards them“.
What I realised though is that sometimes, my attempts at kindness would be very painful for me, and would often backfire and cause greater stress in my beloved at the time.
The thing is, I was excluding myself completely from the kindness equation.
So, on this occasion I was laying next to my wife at the time, both of us worn out from the long fight. I knew she was still mad at me and very much unresolved… and the truth is, so was I.
Then arose my usual urge to make peace… To open my heart and reconnect and I began to reach out my hand to touch her softly and comfort her… Suddenly the words rang loudly in my head: “Is it kind to YOU Joel?â€
My hand stopped in it’s tracks as the realisation dawned. “No, it bloody well isn’t kind to me†and then, I realised, it wouldn’t really have been kind to her either.
It would have been a false move, borne from my agenda to stop the discomfort I felt with the conflict! It would have been a lie to her and a lie to myself.
My hand withdrew and I lay in the truth, and let her be – free to lay in hers. Something in me softened.
So my suggestion is: before you act to appease, to agree, to shout, to run – whatever – ask yourself “Is it kind to me?â€. If it is? Chances are it’s the kindest thing you can do all round.
OK, this one is real simple. You’re gonna cock it up on numbers 1-6 at some point (and numbers 8-10 for that matter!). You just are – that’s your humanity.
So give yourself a break.
Sometimes, what is, is just gonna be: “I’m fed up with the unconscious negativity of the miserable bugger. Why won’t they just think differently like I tell ’em AND I’ve been as kind to them as I can possibly be in spite of their mood! What about me!!!!???†lol
Give yourself a break. There’s another breath coming.
8. Remove Yourself From The Situation
Sometimes you’ve just gotta get out. Get away from it. This links right back to listening to and being kind to you. There are times when it’s time to stay and work it through, and times when something inside says it’s time to go.
This is true in a small temporary way – where you just need to take yourself off for a walk, a bike ride, for a coffee or whatever… AND it can also be true in a bigger way, where it’s time to leave the relationship altogether.
When you listen in and pay close attention, and are willing to be kind to you, the thousand-and-one rational thoughts that would keep you in the painful crap longer than is ‘true’ won’t get a look in.
9. Affirm Your Willingness To Be There When They’re Ready
In relational dynamics, especially if it’s that time to go take a breather (and it’s not the grand finale), I’ve found that it’s kinder all round if you can offer some sense of reassurance as you step away.
It may seem that the other person can neither hear you nor cares, but something inside them is listening.
So saying things like “I’m here when you’re ready, I know we can work this out, and I need to go right now†tend to tear less at the bonds between you.
This isn’t only a sound approach at the times when you need to walk away for a bit, but all throughout communications at these heated times.
The more you can offer statements of intent to work it out together, to hear them, to be there: it’s all good (as long as it’s kind to you).
But really – don’t under estimate the value of another perspective in these kind of situations. We all need a helping hand sometimes <3
One More thing…
What if YOU are the source of ‘intense negativity’?
In that case, watch this video again and see if you can recognise how there’s a part of you that needs to ‘re-think the label’, ‘drop the agenda’ etc etc – give yourself a break and Do some NPA!!
Give It Some Love
So… Perhaps you have ideas I’ve never even thought of? Maybe one of these 10 suggestions has given you an aha moment or helped you in some specific way? Maybe you have a strong opinion about one or all of these?
Please let me and others know in the comments and why not share this if you’ve found it helpful
Also go visit my website: NonPersonalAwareness.com where you’ll find the free and simple exercise called ‘Don’t Take Them Personally’. Remember, it will show you exactly how to use The NPA Process in these situations and I highly recommend you get it.
[or use the link in the box below]
GET THE “DON’T TAKE THEM PERSONALLY†EXERCISE
Learn how you can feel clear and centred around the people in your life who say or do things that cause you stress
How do we resolve the paradox of eternal presentness and the construct of time, in our ever-so-spiritually aware world? It’s been a conundrum to be sure.
One of the things I found after NPA became intricately enmeshed with my world, was that many apparent spiritual paradoxes faded into smiles as the non-personal perspective came alive in me. So I thought I would offer the non-personal perspective into this debate, as it’s one that has caused confusion and consternation in many an awakened Soul.
Now is Good. Future is Bad.
This cheeky little subtitle references George Orwell’s Animal Farm, where the sheep chant the pigs decree: “Four legs good, two legs bad”…
Well, it’s a popular view in modern spirituality, that experiencing the ‘now’ is good, whilst entertaining the future (or past for that matter) is somehow less enlightened. For those who approach spirituality as a goal oriented sport (obviously not you, but you probably know someone who does) this is high octane fuel for your seeker missiles. Eternal presents, a fine target to aim for…
The thing is, you are in the present moment anyway. How could you be anything else?
The mechanism of experience is the same regardless of time constructs.
The Present is the touch point of, and cornerstone reference for, our human experience.
There’s nothing YOU have to DO to be present.
And even the EXPERIENCE of the present is a construct.
This, my friend, is the realisation that you ARE what you are seeking… there is nothing for YOU to DO…
In that, all constructs are free to come and go. Past, Future, Present… the dream… the experience…
We are, quite simply, witnessing and experiencing a stream of translations in the matrix of infinite possibility. The stream unfolds as it does, and sometimes future flavoured translations float by…
So, I encourage you to enjoy the game of future events, and watch the unfolding of reality in the present.
Namaste, eternal time travellers 😉
[JY-General-Bio]
Tweetables:
“You are in the present moment anyway. How could you be anything else?” via @JoelYoungNPA
“The Present is the touch point of, and cornerstone reference for, our human experience” via @JoelYoungNPA
“There’s nothing YOU have to DO to be present” via @JoelYoungNPA
“We are witnessing & experiencing a stream of translations in the matrix of infinite possibility” via @JoelYoungNPA
“I encourage you to enjoy the game of future events, and watch the unfolding of reality in the present” via @JoelYoungNPA
In this Musing on NPA & Life, I’m going to let you know why the story that we need to re-write our personal history in order to heal isn’t necessarily true, and how NPA can help you find your natural path to healing; whatever that may be.
The Definitive Position
There are lots of ‘stories’ flying around in the world of human transformation, positive thinking and healing that are presented as ‘the definite position’. One of the reasons I sometimes refer to myself as a ’21st Century Heretic’ is that I like to examine this new doctrine, with an intention of promoting a perspective of unlimited possibility, co-creation and ongoing evolution.
Most of these ‘definitive positions’ are taken because of an experience of things working that way. So there IS an element of truth to them.
THE Way To Heal
Let’s take our topic-du-jour – healing. It would be true to say that many people have had tremendous success in healing by addressing their issues through following this idea:
“It took root as the result of something in my past, so if I can access whatever set things up this way and change the settings to something better, then I will heal”
The journey to your past can be fun. It can give the mind a recognisable, reason based and understandable story about what caused things to be as they are. It can also help relax the mind about the changes that are be-coming. It can be juicy and it scratches the itch of ‘why?’
This can be a great thing and certainly, in some cases, it’s A good way. But the leap from A WAY to THE WAY can be a trip to limitation and, perhaps even denial of an altogether simpler way.
The reality is that people all over the world are experiencing healing in a million different ways, with most of them not necessarily linking their healing to their past, or changing their thoughts, feelings or beliefs about their ‘history’ in any way.
I like to think that this demonstrates the kindness and flexibility of The Universe in how it answers our prayers – not just for healing, but for the journey of healing that will suit us best.
NPA is just a few simple words; six simple lines. Sometimes you don’t feel a thing. Sometimes you do.
It doesn’t lead you to some place ‘not here’ that you need to get to, in order to meet an idea of what it takes to heal. For example, you are not required to go to the past if that’s not where you’re hanging out naturally. You’re not required to determine ‘how that makes you feel’ if your natural expression is not emotional. You are not required to figure out what you would have to believe in order to feel this way if you ARE experiencing emotions! NPA simply meets you where you are.
NPA has shown me time and again that spontaneous healings can just sort of happen.
And what I have seen much more often with NPA is that it works with our humanity. It honours our longing for the story of our lives. It respects our minds’ childlike need for understanding and opens the way for the most appropriate mechanism to show itself.
You could say that NPA turns on the landing lights for your dreams and prayers. It makes the path that suits you best really clear, and facilitates a nice soft landing.
Life Has Space To Answer
That might be a spontaneous healing. Or it might be that you suddenly feel inspired to have a session in another healing modality – one that uses physical touch, or one that works with your thoughts or emotions – or perhaps even one that addresses the past!
Whatever it is, I often hear that the path is made clear, automatic even and that it runs smooth. Life has space to answer, and to answer in ways that work easily, naturally & sustainably for you.
With all these conflicting definitive positions flying around which tell you with conviction what is required for you to heal can get confusing. So, it’s a wonderful thing to have NPA as A way to help your most natural healing path show itself to you. :0)
[JY-General-Bio]
More Tweetables:
“NPA has shown me time & again that spontaneous healings can just sort of happen” via @JoelYoungNPA
“It’s a wonderful thing to have NPA as A way to help your most natural healing path show itself to you” via @JoelYoungNPA
In this Musing on NPA & Life, I am inviting you to contemplate some non-personal notions & see where that takes you…
The thing about simply contemplating, and meeting any perspective as a notion (and folks – all we have are notions about the mystery) is that it invites an opening without agenda.
Agendaless-ness is at the heart of NPA and its a beautiful paradox that so much power becomes available as you loosen the grip of knowing and control, and allow the discovery to begin.
So contemplate these 7 notions i.e. read one, take a deep breath & close your eyes, ponder it, try it on for size and see what arises…
Just 1 minute on each will have a profound impact on your vibe… (longer would be awesome!) – it’s your gift to yourself ♥
CONTEMPLATION 1: THIS IS WHAT PERFECTION LOOKS LIKE
Perfection is not about Happy Clappy LaLa land in permanent stasis, it’s about Divine Order – everything in the Universe exactly where it’s meant to be, which is where it is, in each moment – “Reality”, as Byron Katie puts it.
For you and your experience, that may be up, it may be down; a co-ordinate within the constant motion of Life.
In any case, I invite you to contemplate the notion that this (whatever you are experiencing right now) is what perfection looks like.
CONTEMPLATION 2: STUCKNESS IS IMPOSSIBLE
Everything is Energy. Energy exists in waves. Waves are in constant motion… constant motion is not stuck-ness, even though it can appear to be so…
So contemplate the notion that: “At a quantum level, everything is in constant motion. Stuckness, fundamentally, is impossible”
CONTEMPLATION 3: YOU ARE NOT THE ACTIVE FORCE
If you follow any thought, impulse or inspiration back to it’s source you will very quickly get beyond the self. In may ways that Del Amitri song ‘Always The Last To Know’ speaks a profound truth of our personal experience.
We like to think we are in charge, in control, the decider, but there are stupendous, enormous beyond comprehension, out of this world crazy big creative forces at work. The possibility matrix accounts for the sum of the Totality of experience across the multiverses and the bottom line in each moment gets expressed through you via thought/impulse/inspiration/decision.
As Ramesh S Balsekar, one of my fave Enlightened Master’s says: “Always a happening, never a doerâ€
At first this notion can seem disempowering and devastating to our inner control freak (we all have one), however this non-personal perspective soon reveals itself to be a liberation. Also, when you’re done contemplating, you can check my previous post called Bad News For Control Freaks
So, I invite you to contemplate the notion:
“You are being moved, being breathed, being ‘doneÂ’. You are not the active force; rather the receiver and expression of it.â€
Learn How You Can Make Rapid Positive Shifts…
“This video programme will walk you step by step through the core training of The NPA Process and give you what you need to get started making a difference in your life right away with NPA.”
Sit with this one, especially if your road to healing, or path to awakening finds you judging, belittling, labelling as ‘less Spiritual’ or attempting to ‘rid’ yourself of any particular experience or aspect of yourself…
Contemplate notion 4: “Your Ego & your Soul are sibling children of God, loved equally and unconditionally”
CONTEMPLATION 5: IF YOU PARENT YOURSELF…
In my many years of self-healing and working with countless clients, I noticed that most painful behaviours were born from ‘child’ consciousness’ or young identities looking for something… Love, protection, acknowledgement, understanding etc etc…
The child energy seeks parental energy… And yet we tend to “personalise” parental energy, and therefore limit it’s origin, to our parents and carers.
So if the flow of parental energy through these fine people is shaped in a way that didn’t connect with our various child energies, an unmet need is generated.
The good news is that parental energy is non-personal and can joyfully flow through you to your child energies in exquisitely precise ways.
Through this notion I was liberated from my personal history, so I invite you to contemplate…
“If you parent yourself in all the ways you wish you had been parented, then Love will run amok in your heart, where need once did”
There’s also a more in depth blog on this subject HERE
CONTEMPLATION 6: YOUR MIND JUST OPENED…
Aligning with the forceless force that animates all experience is only a contemplation away. And the forceless force is EXPANDING the entire Universe – at a physical and quantum level, so I invite you to align with it as you contemplate the notion…
“Your mind just opened a little bit wider, your breath just got a little bit deeper & a quiet ease just crept silently into your Soul…”
CONTEMPLATION 7: BEING YOU IS THE GIFT
As we come to the end of this series of contemplations, let’s contemplate a little deeper…
Notion 7 is: “Being You is the greatest gift you can offer the Earth”
So what is ‘You’?
Who are ‘You’?
What does Being You look like?
There are lot’s of ‘standard’ spiritual answers to these questions… I am everything, I am nothing, I am a spiritual being in a human body… yada yada…
And I would invite you to contemplate the notion WITHOUT the baggage of Spiritual knowledge…
“Being YOU is the greatest gift you can offer the Earth”
Contemplate… Ponder… Wonder…
And enjoy the presence of discovery….
——-
I hope these notions have stirred you, moved you, touched you or awakened something in you – even if it’s confirmation of your own perspective… And if they have please pay it forward and share this blog <3
[JY-General-Bio]
Tweetables
Contemplate the question ‘Who am I?’Â WITHOUTÂ the baggage of Spiritual knowledge (via @JoelYoungNPA)
Contemplate, Ponder, Wonder… and enjoy the presence of discovery…. (via @JoelYoungNPA)
“Being YOU is the greatest gift you can offer the Earth” @JoelYoungNPA #quote
“Aligning with the forceless force that animates all experience is only a contemplation away” @JoelYoungNPA #quote
A forceless force is EXPANDING the entire Universe at a physical and quantum level; I invite you to align with it (via @JoelYoungNPA)
“Most painful behaviours are born from ‘child’ consciousness’ or young identities looking for something” @JoelYoungNPA #quote
“The child energy seeks parental energy. But we personalise the energy & limit it’s origin to our parents and carers” @JoelYoungNPA #quote
“Your Ego & your Soul are sibling children of God, loved equally and unconditionally” @JoelYoungNPA #quote
In may ways that Del Amitri song ‘Always The Last To Know’ speaks a profound truth of our personal experience :0) (via @JoelYoungNPA)
We like to think we are in charge, in control, the decider, but grand energies prior to consciousness are more causal than our personal choices
“The possibility matrix accounts for the sum of the Totality of experience & expresses it as impulse/inspiration/decision” via @JoelYoungNPA
“Always a happening, never a doerâ€Â Ramesh S Balsekar (via @JoelYoungNPA)
“At a quantum level, everything is in constant motion. Stuckness, fundamentally, is impossible” @JoelYoungNPA #quote
“Perfection is not about Happy Clappy LaLa Land in a permanent positively biased stasis, it’s about Divine Order” @JoelYoungNPA #quote
“Meeting any perspective as a notion (& all we have are notions about the mystery) invites an opening without agenda” @JoelYoungNPA #quote
“So much power becomes available as you loosen the grip of knowing and control” @JoelYoungNPA #quote #wisdom
This post looks deeper at the thorny area of wealth, money and abundance. It hopes to help you hack through the prickly undergrowth and awaken the sleeping beauty within…
Inspiration
I’m always grateful for comments. I find they inspire me, and my responses are as much a discovery for me as I hope they are for the commenter! My recent post “Want Wealth? Get Connected To What Truly Matters” elicited a comment from Sara that held questions. As I commented back it took me deeper into the topic. I realised there was a LOT to say and that this response actually merited a post all it’s own.You could think of this post as a ‘Part 2’ and I strongly recommend youread the previous post as a ‘Part 1’as it will give you a context for what comes below.
Sara’s Comment & Questions
“I’m confused. Are you talking about wealth as a connection to/with abundance or to/with monetary wealth? Both ‘matter’ for more or less everyone yet, as you clearly state, the lack of the later (money) might show us that we don’t value it as much as other aspects of our lives. How so? Given that the vast majority of people live such monetised lives, how come materialising monetary wealth is so darn difficult? Thanks for a thought/comment-provoking read.”
My Response
Hi Sara, Thanks so much for your comment and questions. I LOVE that you found it thought provoking and boy, is it easy to get confused on this one. I’ll give it a shot and answer your questions as best I can from my perspective…
Q: “Are you talking about wealth as a connection to/with abundance or to/with monetary wealth?”
I would say I am inviting people to investigate. Firstly their relationship between them, and then if their story meets the reality, which naturally leads to your second question…
Q: “Given that the vast majority of people live such monetised lives, how come materialising monetary wealth is so darn difficult?”
Monetary Wealth: Easy Peasy or Herculean Effort?
Here’s what I’ve noticed…
For some people, monetary wealth is easy peasy. It has nothing to do with ‘their work being their passion’, ‘them following their dream’ etc etc – it’s just that for them it shows up.
For others, they can do all the ‘right things’, follow their dream etc etc. but when they look at their balance sheet and tell themselves ‘I have to make money’ it all starts to feel like a total grind. Their Herculean efforts in pursuit of the money are largely ineffective. The fact is, when their focus shifts to the money, somewhere inside they die a little… OK, I’m being melodramatic here, but sometimes that’s how it feels, right?
So if you’re in situation 1, money truly matters to you! You love it without issue; without conflict. It’s not necessarily attached to a particular task, purpose or feeling (though it could be); it’s just the neutral truth. In NPA terms we would say that money is a primary active energy within your field of awareness. In simple terms, money truly matters to you so it materialises for you readily.
If you’re more in the realm of situation 2, the neutral truth is that, on balance, money doesn’t truly matter to you. Money is NOT a primary active energy within your field of awareness. Perhaps it’s secondary or tertiary, but it’s not the first point of materialisation and not directly connected to your natural stream of abundance.
But that switch of focus from what truly matters to you, to ‘money’ is where the suffering, stalling and struggle begins. It’s like driving a train alongside the railway track rather than on it; it’s highly inefficient, bumpy, fraught with danger and not very clever.
The difficulty for you in this case, is that the modern cultural mythology and the structures built around that, bathe you daily in the idea that money matters most, or at least more than it actually does to you. Your tendancy is probably to buy into that perspective, and disconnect from your local experience and perspective.
The challenge then is to buck the mythology and trust that money matters enough that it will materialise in support of what truly matters, where money is required to facilitate that.
My invitation is to get your train back on the tracks, and here’s how:
STEP 1: Get real about what truly matters, discover the huge wealth of it that you already have and appreciate your natural abundance.
STEP 2: Come to peace with your relationship to monetary wealth as it truly is right now and understand where it sits in the landscape of who you experience yourself to be.
STEP 3: Allow these relationships to evolve in a way that keeps you as connected as possible to; your point of materialisation, your sense of abundance and any newly clarified intentions, in a sustainable way going forward.
Help!!
So now I’ve written all this, I realise two things.
Firstly, that a lot of people could probably use help with those three steps.
Secondly that I can’t fully claim to have it all down myself. BUT what I DO know, is what truly matters to me. And what matters to me is finding creative ways to help myself and others live a kinder, easier and more fulfilling life. I find this effortless and there’s a wealth of it in my life. Furthermore, I realise that NPA, it’s perspectives and the creative ways I’ve come to use it is a perfect vehicle through which these inquiries can be explored.
Wanna Take A Ride?
With that in mind I’ve decided to create a month long experiential tele-seminar called The August Abundance Assembly and invite you to join me! That way, together we can travel through the 3 evolutionary steps to connected wealth alignment that I outlined above.
So, if you’re interested in getting back on the tracks of abundance that have been Gracefully laid out for you in this lifetime, and taking a joyful ride on the true-wealth train with me, thenhop on over to this page where you can sign up for more info about The August Abundance Assembly, with me & Non-Personal Awareness – and be the first to know when the booking goes live!
The air is alive with World Cup fever this month. It’s something that comes around like clockwork, fills the participant nations with high emotion and has the potential to deliver the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.
How, thought I, could I possibly relate this footie-phenomena to the joys of a non-personal perspective in a personal world?
Well, if you’ll pardon the pun, it turns out that it offers us a golden opportunity for self reflection and a shot at deeper freedom…
Identity Crisis
The other day I caught one of those ‘count down’ TV programmes, the World Cup Top 100 something-or-others, and what I noticed is that we hold distinct national ‘identities’, which directly relate to ‘what we are like’ in the World Cup.
For example – England are rubbish at penalties, Irish fans expect nothing but have the best time, Cameroon are likeable rogues, Germany are efficient and effective; always in contention etc etc.
It’s intriguing that the identification each nation has taken on in relation to their World Cup experience, seems to play itself out again and again. The thing is, the same mechanism is operating in our individual lives; we each have our own ‘World Cup’ event, we have assumed an identity in relation to it, and we play out this identification as our habituated track through the event. With a sigh we are left wondering why it happened pretty much the way it always does.
Of course, if you’re a Brazil, an Argentina or a Germany in relation to your personal World Cup, then chances are you feel pretty happy with how things pan out.
However if you’re an England and find yourself constantly disappointed and longing for the glory days; or if you’re a USA who’s only really interested when you’re winning and dismissive of the whole thing when you’re not; or if you’re a Scotland that ends up with the opportunity to play much less than you feel you deserve and often end up on the sidelines gaining hollow satisfaction from seeing your ‘only slightly more talented’ sibling country falling flat on their faces again… well then, perhaps, it’s time to break the pattern and have a different experience..?
The Road To Your World Cup Heaven
So, here’s your chance for some self-inquiry. I could call it steps 1-4, but it’s oh-so-much more fun to continue the metaphor:
You’ve gotta be in it to win it, so firstly you’ll have to get through the qualifying stages. For that you’re going to need to ask yourself what your ‘World Cup’ situation is? Then to survive the group stages you’ll need to know who you are being in relation to that situation?
Next it’s knock-out time and it’ll take some fancy footwork to uncover which key aspects you’ll need to leverage, to bring more freedom and ease to the situation. Pull all of this off, and you’ll make The Final, where you can use a little NPA (the ‘Pele’ of tools for this kind of thing) and score the winning goal that can reset who you know yourself to be!
Defining Your ‘World Cup’ Situation
To help get you qualified for the main event, here’s some qualities that define the World Cup and which you can use metaphorically to look at the defining your personal World Cup event:
World Cup Aspects Defined:
It’s a sport, so there are winners and losers, with a series of events and a distinct outcome that defines that (add drama to taste)!
It is noteworthy on the ‘sporting’ calendar!
It happens regularly and repeatedly
There’s a heavy investment of National identity in it. Lots of fire, passion and potential misery! (even though it’s ‘only’ a sport)
So, to find the World Cup in your life, contemplate those aspects and ponder where this kind of pattern plays out in your life. If you want to sit back and be lead by the hand on this, skip to the bonus resources section and share the blog – then you’ll have access to a handy bendy audio that will help find your personal World Cup.
Who Are You In Relation To That Situation?
Once you’ve got a specific situation in mind it’s time to take an objective look at how it plays out. Imagine that it’s not you, not your family, not your life – just a TV drama. Ask yourself:
How does it usually play out?
What role does my character play throughout? (Think in terms of archetype, stereotypes or symbolically)
What role does my character end up in?
What judgements are my character making?
Is there a clear emotional pathway and/or a switch point? (eg. a give up point, an explosion point, an impatience-leads-to-carelessness point)
Just watch the movie and contemplate these questions, getting a general sense of the role you play and how that pattern shows up.
A Couple Of Examples
Here’s a couple of examples to give you the idea…
The Children’s Clear Up Challenge
Your ‘World Cup’ event might be asking your kids to tidy their rooms? You notice you leave the asking for as long as possible – perhaps its a 4 week cycle. You seem uncharacteristically het up about it and the kids throw all kind of strops. You want to be ‘strong Mum/Dad’ but the tears and tantrums always seem to take the juice from the legs. You hit the crossbar, miss the goal – it never quite seems to go the way you want it. When it comes to this – you just seem to play out the role of the ‘ineffective parent’, and you feel disproportionately crushed.
The Financial Ex-Factor
It’s that time again when you need to ask your ex-husband for more money for the kids. It’s always more of a drama than other conversations you have with him. You find yourself getting nervous before you call him, distrustful thoughts enter your mind, then angry thoughts – you know you play your best game when you’re centred, but you can’t help feeling meek. You fight the feeling and get angry with yourself – you know you’ve a perfect right to ask. Then you call. Sometimes he’s just fine and agrees and what a huge relief. But sometimes there’s a slight hesitation from him, a hint of resistance and you explode – you accuse him of sleight of hand with the finances, you’ve slipped into the role of ‘hysterical ex-wife’, a ‘victim’ – Â it’s an own goal – you’re devastated and bewildered… you don’t even think that stuff… ouch.
And fella’s on the other side of this one – you know there’s equally complex emotions and identities at play here for you too! ♥
Shifting Identities with NPA
NPA is awesome for shifting identities. The NPA vernacular for them is ‘cookie cutters’ and they come in all shapes and sizes. Simply having an awareness of what you’re up to and the roles you fall into in your personal World Cup is an empowering thing and awareness alone for sure can get things moving. However, super charging with non-personal awareness has a way of releasing these traditionally sticky identities at the speed of light!
So now you’ve got the situation nicely defined, you can apply some NPA, and here’s some simple ways to do that:
4 Steps For Experienced NPA-ers:
1) Use a spew from the set up questions and contemplations in section 1 (the qualifying stage) to get a situational cookie cutter. Self elicit in your preferred way and choose the most animated cookie cutter. 2) Ask yourself: In relation to [Situational CC], who or what are you being? 3) Spew and elicit the most animated cookie cutter(s) 4) Run those cookie cutters through the NPA Process.
Simple Instructions For Newbies & Beginner NPA-ers:
Simply share this article via the bonus box and you will get access to a 6 min video that will take you through how to do the process. There will also be an outline of the NPA Process words themselves. There’s a ‘gap’ in the process where you insert the cookie cutter you are using.
If you’re a newbie simply use whatever role or roles you came up with that you play as your ‘cookie cutter’.
So in the examples I gave above, the cookie cutter to use for The Children’s Clear Up Challenge would be [ineffective parent]. And for The Financial Ex-Factor, there are two: [hysterical ex-wife] & [victim], requiring two processes. Obviously, it’s going to be whatever role you are seeing yourself in, not the examples. Just put that in the process, say the 6 lines, including those words out loud and see what happens.
If you want to understand all those ‘Experienced NPA-ers’ terms and do really graceful NPA, you’ll need to get some training via our comprehensive audio programmeNPA: The Bridgeor by attending anEvent. You can also get direct assistance from me, and make a huge difference in your lifeHERE.
Bonus Resources For Sharing
I’d love you to share this article on your social networks, and doing so will give you instant access to the NPA Basic Training video, The NPA Process words AND a guided elicitation to help you through steps 1 & 2 described above.
NPA Basic Training
Words For The NPA Process
The NPA Process (c) Joel Young 2007 onwards
Â
Your Guided Elicitation
Hit play and enjoy!
Transcript:
Hi, this is Joel Young, the creator & custodian of NPA. Thanks for sharing the blog. This audio will give you a helping hand to define a situation in life which is your personal world cup. Make sure you’re in a safe place to do this – neither driving nor using heavy machinery. So let’s begin.
Get yourself comfortable and take a deep breath, sigh it out… and as you relax, and allow yourself to contemplate the movie of your day to day life, knowing that the answer will find you, you might wonder what situation, or set of events seems to happen over and over in the same way?
The situation that pops effortlessly into your conscious awareness now, will be one that stands out as somehow important to you. Even though it might seem trivial in the scheme of things, the outcome in this situation inspires a lot of passion – it matters somehow – even if you don’t know why? And it might be something you get very heated about?
Perhaps you notice, that if or when the outcome goes your way – you feel elated. However – if or when the outcome doesn’t go your way – you feel incredibly deflated, or perhaps even furious! You may have noticed that each time this situation occurs, it plays out in much the same way, with perhaps a few minor deviations from the norm?
So, as you relax and allow yourself to contemplate the movie of your day to day life – what situation is coming into your awareness? Be light and open – it’s not an exact science, and doesn’t have to tick every box – just trust that you can work with whatever situation is showing up, or the one you simply decide to pick… When you’re ready, make a note of the situation, a simple reference.
OK, so let’s take it to the next step…
With that specific situation in mind you can now take an objective look at how it plays out. Watch it play out on a screen. Imagine that it’s not you, not your family, not your life – just a TV drama and as it plays out, contemplate what role your character plays throughout. Let the label for the role find you – it can just pop into your mind. It might come as an archetype, like victim, martyr or rebel. It might come as a stereotype like geek, bread winner, drama queen, bully or perhaps as a judgement like dork, big kid, idiot, pathetic person… just be open and trust whatever pops in. Write it down – for newbies – that’s your cookie cutter!
Once you’ve run it through the process, let me know what you experience in the comments and be sure to visit our main site at NonPersonalAwareness.com
[JY-General-Bio]
Artist credit: World Cup Selfie by Emma Allen – http://www.emmaallen.org/gallery/
Tweetables:
We hold distinct national ‘identities’, which directly relate to ‘what we are like’ in the World Cup. via @JoelYoungNPA
It’s intriguing that the identification that nations take on in relation to the World Cup, play themselves out repeatedly. via @JoelYoungNPA
In our individual lives; we each have our own ‘World Cup’ event. via @JoelYoungNPA
NPA is The ‘Pele’ of transformational tools :0) Â via @JoelYoungNPA
Score the winning goal that can reset who you know yourself to be! via @JoelYoungNPA
NPA is awesome for shifting identities. via @JoelYoungNPA
Having an awareness of what you’re up to and the roles you fall into is an empowering thing. via @JoelYoungNPA
Non-personal awareness has a way of releasing these traditionally sticky identities at the speed of light! via @JoelYoungNPA
Trust that you can work with whatever situation is showing up. via @JoelYoungNPA
In this Musing on NPA & Life I’m going to suggest that you notice a place in you where you have no need of life to acquiesce to your childish demands for more than you have.
In plain English that means I’m going to ask you to stop pandering to (or fighting) your inner brat. After all, s/he’s a brat.
So, let’s get this out of the way. We all have one.
It wants more. More than you have, more than you need, more…. just because more is better, and even if it isn’t better, at least it’s more, More, MORE!!!
So how does one handle this often incessant demand without suppressing or invalidating this part of you?
A Little Clarity Please…
Just to be clear – I am NOT saying ‘have no childish demands’. Childish demands come and go, as do all the colours of human experience.
My suggestion is that you have no NEED of LIFE to acquiesce to them, no matter how diligently you pray, affirm, clear out blocks, work your ass off, vision board etc etc… you get the gist.
This is, of course, only if you are interested in Truth and Peace.
And, just to be clear again – I am NOT saying don’t pray, affirm, clear out blocks, work your ass off, vision board etc etc… what you are moved to do is always perfection in the widest context.
What I AM pointing to here is a discernment of Truth, from a Spiritual perspective, and a further re-alignment of ‘Being’ from ‘Dualistic Struggle’ to ‘Wholeness’
The History Of The Conscious Brat
In the latter part of last century, especially in the awakening movement, we nurtured the demanding child of our psyches and drilled ourselves on the belief in personal power.
To a degree this may have been the quenching of a natural thirst to re-integrate the personal perspective into the Whole – a pendulum swing from outer focused authoritarianism and the exclusion of self-motivation. In the context of balance and integration, clearly this was an authentic act of kindness to The Human.
However, as one foot falls and has it’s moment of relevancy on the path, the other foot inevitably comes into consideration.
How To Love Your Inner Brat Wholesomely
Non-Personal Awareness on many levels is a vehicle through which you can engage in a simple inquiry to the source of ‘you’ and the experience of Self. Many are surprised at what they find; the realisation of Self as effect rather than cause. But ultimately there is relief, a resting and a natural willingness to Be.
From the highest personal perspective, it’s a matter of discernment. Part of mastering the NPA Process, and understanding Non-Personal Awareness is about becoming highly skilled at noticing ‘animation’.
Animation is my word for ‘what is already being moved by God/Grace/The Universe. It’s the ‘Energy of the moment’ and as you come to know this, you are able to let go of formulas and discern the ‘highest & best’ in the context of the present.
Practice
As you practice non-personal awareness, the personality relaxes it’s game of control and rests Gracefully in the chaotic, ordered, intelligent, beauty of Life. An invitation to notice the longings, wants and childish demands. To notice actions happening that appear to support those longings, wants and childish demands. To notice actions happening that appear to NOT support those longings, wants and childish demands. And to notice that, in any case, Life is what it is.
I have what I have. I will always have what I have. And I have no need of life to acquiesce to my childish demands for more than I have.
And just to leave your personality with a little reassurance right now; that tends to feel freakin’ awesome 😀
[JY-General-Bio]
Tweetables…
Childish demands come and go, as do all the colours of human experience. via @JoelYoungNPA
what you are moved to do is always perfection in the widest context. via @JoelYoungNPA
As one foot falls and has it’s moment of relevancy on the path, the other foot inevitably comes into consideration. via @JoelYoungNPA
engage in a simple inquiry to the source of ‘you’ and the experience of Self. via @JoelYoungNPA
 let go of formulas and discern the ‘highest & best’ in the context of the present. via @JoelYoungNPA
As you practice non-personal awareness, the personality relaxes it’s game of control. via @JoelYoungNPA
Notice that, in any case, Life is what it is. via @JoelYoungNPA
I have what I have. I will always have what I have. via @JoelYoungNPA
I have no need of life to acquiesce to my childish demands for more than I have. via @JoelYoungNPA
I was working with a client last week and got into some interesting territory around cravings she was experiencing. Inevitably, we looked at it through the lens of non-personal awareness. One of the hall marks of the non-personal perspective is to switch from a personalised view point to a relational one.
Have you ever been in a situation where the people around you are in an absolute stink? A prolonged state of ‘negativity’ where it seems like nothing you say or do, no matter how well intentioned, can encouraged them to come back into their heart?
So, here’s your chance for some self-inquiry. I could call it steps 1-4, but it’s oh-so-much more fun to continue the metaphor:
