Finding An Endless Inner Light

findinganendlessinnerlight

You know that feeling where something is just gnawing at your guts?

That feeling that won’t take spiritual niceties for an answer?

The kind of feeling that won’t settle for pseudo peace, or half-arsed happiness?

Well that discomfort, my friend, is an inner gift you’ve been nurturing, and it’s grown too big for your belly.

In this post I want to share how NPA helped me listen to that gnawing, let go of a lifetime of invalidation and find a genuine connection to an endless inner light.

I also want to offer you TWO powerful exercises to help you connect more with your core.

So, let’s get to the guts of it…

A Gnawing In My Guts

Almost a month had passed since the police had intervened in the harassment case and I was pretty sure the episode was over. All seemed quiet on the Ex front, and still…

I was aware that the defamatory posts were still out there in the public domain and I’d remained silent. Every time someone in the know would ask me if I felt clear and glad it was over, I would hear myself tell them “yes”… but the word, in my ears, was hollow.

In late September, my colleagues from The Inner Journey Clinic and I had our regular Skype chat. We meet for supervision and mutual support, so I took it to them to explore what the heck was still here with me.

At first it was suggested that I look at it through the eyes of radical self-responsibility. “How had I hurt her in an equivalent way?”

I really looked, but couldn’t find it. I could acknowledge that maybe indirectly there were rubbish things I’d done in the past with different people, or perhaps to her in previous lives..?

Big Fat No

But, to be honest, it really didn’t resonate, and I was getting a big inner red flag. Of course I checked myself to make sure it wasn’t just resistance… it wasn’t.

Something much deeper and truer was simply saying no.

When wise people you respect, with the kindest of intentions, say rationale things that you know generally have a truth to them… it can be a challenge to disagree. But I knew that all spiritual, self-help and therapeutic concepts have a context where they are relevant, and times when they are not. So I held a strong boundary.

But something they said did hit a chord.

“You might want to look at the victim energy Joel”

Ouch!

That’s always gonna be a tough one to hear… The last thing that victim energy wants is to be, is called out… But, as I said in my post about the willingness to be an inconvenience, healing and awakening often start only when you acknowledge some ugly truths about yourself.

This time the ‘red flag’ was really a resistant ‘ouch’ and when I got truly honest with myself there was some truth to it.

I put it in my energetic escrow to look that one in the eye…

Finnish Angel

The very next day I had a pre-arrange catch up with my great Finnish friend, and certified NPA Teacher, Marja Koivisto.

She’s a great facilitator and has always had a knack for pinning me on my stuff.

She noticed my energy and physiology immediately… I was kind of crumpled over the table and pretty low.

“What’s going on Joel?” she asked, in her lyrical Scandinavian accent and a tone that clearly meant (to use the NPA vernacular) “Spew Mr Young!”

Just in case you don’t know, a ‘spew’ in NPA terms is an invitation to just let your mouth run on a subject. The NPA facilitator meanwhile listens for the key words or phrases that have an ‘animation’ about them and can then be used in The NPA Process.

I spewed…

At first I went through the yada yada of the updates on the case, but then I found myself describing an old memory:

I’m about 6 years old, in the car with my Mum, Aunt, sisters and cousins. It’s mid-summer and we’re setting off for a camping trip.

I’m the youngest, and my cousin Micky is the oldest. He’s being horrible to me, as usual. Teasing with a nasty edge.

I appeal to my Mum and my sisters, but no-one sticks up for me. They treat me like I’m being over-sensitive… and then I burst into tears.

Micky delights in this opportunity to mock me further. He mimics my wails and goads me: “Sing Joel, sing!” and, to my shock, it seemed like everyone laughed along!

Distraught and desperate I plead through my tears to my mother:
“He’s being horrible! Make him stop!”

“Oh c’mob” says my Mum, “He’s not that bad”

 

Shut Down

My experience is completely invalidated… Negated… I simply shut down.

As I continued to spew, I realised how this experience had completely killed my ability to acknowledge genuine mistreatment of me. It also became obvious that this experience was reflected in much of the abuse I’d experience through my life, including the latest online abuse from my Ex.

The energy was still alive in me. This time as: “She’s not that bad”

With my Ex in mind, Marja lead me through The NPA Process using that phrase.

A LOT of emotion,
a LOT of physical shaking,
and a LOT of energy release ensued…

As the waves died down, the inner validation and acknowledgement found its voice, and I spoke the words:

“She IS that f*&#ing bad”

Marja encouraged me to NPA that phrase as well, and I felt it link back not only to my recent Ex, but beyond… Back to the many other situations that I had made “Not that bad”… the domestic abuser, the sexual abuser and, of course, my teasing cousin.

Something Deep Inside Cracked Open

It was as if I could finally acknowledge my experience.

I was WILLING to experience it.

Something deep inside cracked open.

With my direct experience being honoured, validated and expressed, it was healed. Any victim energy that had been hanging out in that space just kind of resolved itself. It left.

And what I experienced next was profound…

I described it to Marja as best I could,

“It’s an energy… a feeling… a distinct presence… It’s like one of those quantum power generators, that once switched on provides power for eternity, simply by tapping into the quantum field. It feels like an eternally running engine inside my belly”

I was having a visceral experience of something I’d heard about so many times but had never truly connected to personally:

“My cup runneth over”

I’d so often heard this talked about in terms of love. “Love yourself first, fill up your cup with love” etc etc.

Word Magic
(A little heads up for the exercise to come)

word magicOne of the things I love most about NPA, is that it’s great for going beyond generalised words and terms.

You know the sort which sound good but don’t truly connect?

Words are magical, and each word we use activates neural pathways in our brain, firing off signals, sparking chemical reactions and influencing feelings, thought streams and physiology.

A common and misleading simplification, is the idea that each word has a distinct meaning that we all share. While superficially this may be true… underneath the surface, we all have unique responses to each word we hear.

Each word activates our huge database of experience of the word. Which sections of that data surface is influenced by the context and the emotional tone. The possible variations in any given moment are mind-bogglingly huge.

A dog is a dog, but the dog you picture and the experience you have when reading that word is almost certainly very different to mine. It will be influenced by where you are (or have recently been), your current emotional state, any direct impactful experiences you’ve had with a dog and so much more…

• Language was born as an expression of the energy.
• Generalised agreed labels, which point to an experience or thing and enables us to conveniently relate and communicate.
• Then we started believing that the words were the thing.
• So now, most of the time, we impose language on our experience.
• And connection gets lost in translation.

 

‘My cup runneth over’ is an example of this for me. The words point to an experience. Those words worked for someone. Maybe they work for lots of people. Not for me.
The words don’t elicit the experience… there’s no magic in them.

But what if we allow our words, once more, to arise as expressions of the energy?

There’s an NPA technique I call an ‘Energy Read’ which does exactly that and Marja spotted that this was a beautiful time to use it…

The language… the fully connected label… the ’name’ which popped out of me for this experience was “Self Sustaining Aggression”.

It may seem like an odd, or unspiritual word, but to me it was perfect.

For me, it embodies a power source which could run all my boundary keeping, my willingness to be an inconvenience, my courage to face the uglier truths…

AND… to take care of myself, stand up in ways I hadn’t before, independent of any external source.

The words pointed to an endless inner light.

And just to reassure any spiritual sensitivities…

Aggression in this context is like the aggression a bloom requires to crack open the bud, the aggression that water expresses to carve through rock, the aggression a wolf unabashedly expression to feed and protect her cubs…

It’s a force of nature…. it’s alive in me now… and it’s made all the difference.

2 Powerful Exercises To Get You More Connected To Your Core…

I share these experiences with you, not to be cheered on or applauded or even to simply entertain… I share them with you to let you know that if you’re on this path you’re not alone, and by my experience I can help guide you on YOUR journey.

With that in mind I have a map in the form of some tasks I’m going to encourage you to do. Because if you want to actually find your endless inner light and not just massage the grey matter, then roll your sleeves up and have a crack at these exercises…

Exercise 1: Healing Invalidation/Denial
(resolving any related victim energies).

This exercise will help you un-block shut down that has occurred from invalidation.

Ask yourself:

• Are you muting how you really feel?
• Are you denying the severity of a painful experience… current or in the past?
• Were you ever told that things “weren’t that bad” or “are not as bad as you make out” or “to make lemonade from lemons” in some form? (and it didn’t feel good)

 

While these sentiments have their place, if at the time, it just didn’t ring true for you, it’s time to get real and acknowledge your own experience.

  1. Let yourself Spew about a specific time where you experienced this.
    You can do it on paper or as a voice recording, and be open to whatever aspect of the experience you naturally want to spew about
  2. Listen for the animated key-word cookie cutters.
  3. NPA the cookie cutter(s) and see where it takes you.

It may be that this exercise simply provides a powerful clearing for you – which would be fantastic – right!?

And there could be more…

Learn How You Can Make Rapid Positive Shifts…

NPA Basic Training - Start Here“This video programme will walk you step by step through the core training of The NPA Process and give you what you need to get started making a difference in your life right away with NPA.”

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

 

Exercise 2: Finding Your Natural Expression

It’s very possible that what comes out of exercise 1 is a connection to some powerful core energy. A fully connected label or name for the experience might be right there – in which case, please let it be that simple.

However, if there seems to be no words for the experience, or the standard words that might describe it don’t quite resonate for you, then you can use this exercise to really nail it…

The key here is to let go of the standard words (if you have them) and fall into the direct experience.
Then allow words to arise which naturally connect you to the direct experience.
When you have them, the bridge between your inner and outer expression will be established.

Here’s the steps:

  1. Get viscerally in touch with the experience of the core energy… the feeling, the energy, the physical sensation etc.
  2. If some words had come which didn’t quite do it for you, let go of them completely and allow yourself to fall into your direct experience.
  3. In any case, slip into a space of wonder…Say out loud “If there were words to describe this experience, I wonder what my they might be?It is not something you can go searching for with you mind or any expectation… Just let the answer bubble up naturally… let the word(s) find you…For example, yesterday, what arose for a client to describe her direct experience was “Inner Waterfall of Sparkling Energy” It was right in her core, and truly connecting with it released her from a life long painful survival mechanism.
  4. When YOUR words arrive, again get viscerally in touch with the experience…Feel the words and how they connect you strongly to the feeling. Give yourself some time with the experience and notice what happens. You may experience some release, realisations, feelings or an opening.Big and bold, or subtle and simple… no matter, trust your own experience and the process.
  5. You can come back to these words repeatedly to access the experience.
  6. You can also try running it through The NPA Process.

I’d love to hear what you experience from these exercises in the comments.

I hope this article inspires you to heal the invalidation in your life and start honouring your direct experience.

I also hope you can see how NPA can help you with that, as at its very core NPA is about finding words and expressions that are TRULY connected to your experience.

It’s because of that connectedness that such a seemingly simple set of words has such a profound impact for those that choose to use it to the fullest.

Exercises are great, but if you really want to bring anything into your life and embody it, it takes practice over time. This is very true of non-personal awareness.

Practice over time leads to mastery, and mastery leads to effortless magical expression. The NPA Process, NPA Advanced Techniques and Non-Personal Philosophies bring a tremendous fluidity into your life and train you to live a life authentically connected to what truly matters to you.

Learn How You Can Make Rapid Positive Shifts…

NPA Basic Training - Start Here“This video programme will walk you step by step through the core training of The NPA Process and give you what you need to get started making a difference in your life right away with NPA.”

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

If you haven’t already, I highly recommend you get the NPA: Basic Training online video course. It will definitely help you make the most of the exercises I’ve given you here, but more importantly bring a powerful transformational energy into your life (even if you’ve done a lot of work on yourself already) and get you on the path to mastering a life that reflects what truly matters to you.

Love & Blessings

Joel x

[JY-General-Bio]

Pleasure & Abundance

pleasure-abundance

For a while there I was putting the cart before the horse.

The cart being money.

The horse being my natural connection to abundance.

I see so many people doing this, and in my experience it’s a real abundance killer.

I want to tell you about how that has really shifted for me this year and offer you some ways you can apply it to you, but first let me give you a little background…

I’m an experiential learner. Always have been.

Sometimes being an experiential learner means you need to walk into a few walls before you find the door…

Experiential Learning

NPA Popped out of me on Feb 5th 2007. I started teaching it to groups in 2009.

It took off like a rocket.

For two years it grew and grew.

By the end of 2010, I was more abundant than I had ever been on every level, including money.

Money, of course, was in the equation for consideration, but it certainly wasn’t front of mind.

I was having a blast and NPA and I were thriving.

Inevitably, when you grow, you hit an edge.

The Edge

Technically, I’d been self employed for many years. But as a 1:1 practitioner the mechanics of a business had been relatively simple, especially as I was, for the most part, under the wings of an international seminar company. I taught their work all over the world, to rooms filled with 100’s of people. My practice filled effortlessly.

The events marketing was handled for me. The business visioning, staff issues, infrastructure, systems, on-site logistics… all taken care of by the company.

Running my own seminar company, was new territory.

And as it grew, I hit challenges I had no idea what to do with. I’d grown enormously in the areas of emotional fluency, spirituality, facilitation skills, human understanding etc. But the skill of running a business was an unexplored area of myself.

I was very much at that beginner stage. I was a newbie, a stumbler, a mistake maker, a rabbit in the headlights at times.

The folk around me were selling the prescribed business mindset hard; the idea that “You need to focus on the bottom line… That’s if you want to have a ‘proper’ business and ‘take it seriously’. You need to grow, and plan and forecast.”

Spreadsheets, balance sheets, profit margins and pension provisioning, apparently were the order of the day…

Karmic Time in the Cycle of Frustration

wigglywormSomething in me, the unknowing self, saw the juicy wiggly worm and not the hook… I bit…

Things plateaued in 2011, and in 2012 took a dive.

My response?

Work harder.
Check the numbers.
Watch the balance sheet.
Mitigate the risks.

I did karmic time in the cycle of frustration…

I was frustrated because over the years I’d done a shit load of work on abundance issues – digging up the emotional dirt and getting to the root of it all – yada yada…

And of course, I was doing NPA on this and that when it was animated to do so. NPA had caused miracles in so many areas of my life, so c’mon – wtf?

Well I often teach that one way NPA works is to show you the next step… after all the Soul sometimes has an agreement that you’ll go slow and squeeze every evolutionary drop out of the experience.

But I was about to get an enormous ‘aha!’

An Enormous Aha

One of the core philosophical principals of Non-Personal Awareness is that all experience is relational.

What’s more, our current relating models suck.

NPA provides powerful new perspectives and ways to approach relationships which can radically shift your personal experience of them. Even as relationships change – be that a growing together or moving apart – you are empowered to experience your wholeness.

My epiphany hit me on a rainy June afternoon in 2014, on the towpath of the Grand Union canal, right behind Tescos in Leighton Buzzard. Proving that God does’t just show up in glamorous locations 😉

This is what hit me:

I was in a relationship with money.

And a shitty one at that.

I’d been looking entirely at myself… but what needed work was the relationship.

Then it came to me:

In NPA I had created amazing ways to work with relational energy.

What if I applied them to my relationship with money?

So that’s what I did, and I invited a small group of people to join me on a course that I called The August Abundance Assembly.

On the course we discovered our natural abundance, cleared our yucky projections around money, addressed the issues in our money marriage and re-kindled the spark we’d lost.

We each came away with 4 unique foundational keys to a stable and productive money marriage, and a clear connection to the essential purpose of our relationship with money this life time.

It was like a divining rod, a compass, a guiding light that could keep us connected to our natural abundance and help our money marriage stay healthy going forward.

Pleasure

Undergoing the course work myself, I discovered that the foundational key to my natural abundance was pleasure.

But I had grown up associating money with a LOT of pain.

Just to clarify something – what pleasure means to me, may be different to what it means to you. People on the course each went through a detailed process to find a ‘cookie cutter’ for their Natural Abundance. Like all cookie cutters, it’s a personal label which points to an energy, and it’s the energy that does the magic.

Once I put pleasure (my horse) in front of my cart (money) some foundational shifts began to occur.

• My relationship with money softened, I got clearer about what mattered to me.. what was MY natural way.
• It re-affirmed that I had what it took if I trusted my natural abundance.
• It sparked off that urge to grow and acknowledge how pleasure wanted to express itself.
• I discovered that my values in this matter were very different to my girlfriend and I realise now that this was a fundamental aspect of our parting.

Once she and I went our separate ways and I was out of the energy of that dynamic, I felt liberated to explore.

A Conscious Shift of Attention

This year I have very consciously put pleasure at the forefront of my decision making. Especially around my work.

As I pointed out in my blog on the 6 stages of the dark night of the soul, as you come out of it, there is a discovery stage. A stage where the best thing is to give yourself permission to run with the new and see what happens.

This process requires you to roll with the changes, and continually let go of the forms, structures and habits that were part of the old self. And over time, things clarify and solidify.

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Basically, I got off the work hard, money focus hamster wheel and just did what felt good.

Of course I made plans, but noticed that pleasure’s plan didn’t really pay much heed to them. The balance sheet that needed attention was the balance sheet of pleasure… and it needed some major income!

So I’ve given myself a LOT of pleasure this year.

And, you’ll likely not be surprised to hear, that money, clients and opportunities started coming out of nowhere. In fact this year I have been more financially abundant than I had been in any of the last five years.

Part of my ‘cacooning’, in a sense has been me taking ‘time off’ to do things that bring me pleasure. Letting myself off the hook of have-to’s that were fuelled by the mis-aligned money-focus lack.

But my decision to truly put pleasure, my natural abundance, at the forefront has been a liberation, a revelation and a real confirmation of the power of that course.

Powerful Contemplations For You

I hope that by you hearing about my experience, you’ve already had some insights.

And I thought I’d lay out some contemplations that will help you bring it back to your situation and begin the process of shifting you to a more wholesome state of abundance.

The act of contemplating the notion that you are in a relationship with money is a powerful thing, so I invite you to start there.

 

It’s also worth taking time to consider the ‘state’ of that relationship, and if it’s not fabulous, what is the impact of that on your life?

 

Ponder what a wholesome relationship with money might be like? And imagine if you had that wholesome relationship, what it might bring to your life? What it might bring to your experience of money and abundance?

Take a little while for these contemplations.  You’ll likely find, it’s a great investment of your time.

Some Specific Questions & A Request

I’ve laid out some specific questions that you can answer in the form of a survey.

To be completely transparent with you, after my experience of the power of the course this year, I’ve been thinking about running it again, with a few updates.

I created the survey because I want to get a sense of where you are and where you want to be in relation to money. And, if there’s a demand, I can create a course that delivers what really matters to you.

That being said, I wanted to do it in a way that gives you a real space for some self-inquiry on the topic. So by filling out the survey you will get some direct insight on YOUR relationship with money.

So, if you’re potentially interested in a course that gets you in touch with your natural abundance, dramatically improves your relationship with money, and gives you a powerful foundation for abundance going forward… or if you’d simply like to undergo the simple inquiry questions, you can click the link below and take the survey.

You’d also be doing me a favour – Just click the big blue button below 🙂

NPA Survey Button

One Final Thing

If you’re having a major aha like I did, and are looking back at what you’ve been doing in your money relationship with darkened eyes… please make some space for self forgiveness right now.

For me, in the time that the cart was before the horse, I actually did learn a lot. And not just in terms of spirituality or life lessons. I learned a huge amount on a practical business level – about marketing, online courses, Facebook advertising, project management, hiring people, firing people etc etc…

So give yourself a break and know that there will have been gains from what has been… and simply start from here…

And you can always do the survey: Just click here.

[JY-General-Bio]

Strong Boundaries & Self Love

strong-boundaries-self-love

This has been the toughest post I’ve ever had to write.

It seems I came here this life time to deal with and heal various forms of abuse.

Sexual abuse when I was 7.

Domestic violence in my 30’s.

And this year, public and private attack via social media.

This year I reached my “NO MORE!”

Crippled By Civility

In the first two cases I had been crippled by civility, reasonableness and a general unwillingness to admit to myself the hideousness of the behaviour of the perpetrator. So I wasn’t free ‘in the moment’ to stand up for myself, say no and get help.

With sexual abuse there is an incredibly confusing mix of pain and pleasure… after all, the physical pleasure centres are being stimulated even as there is terror and pain. But that pleasure brings shame and causes you to doubt yourself at the deepest level and keep it quiet. Anyone who has experienced this understands.

With domestic abuse, when you are a man, there’s a particular confusion… The story goes: “You’re a man, she’s a woman… it’s different when a woman hits a man, you’re stronger… so what’s your problem? Be a man about it!…” (You might be surprised to know that I heard this from women more than men at the time). And the inner response to that goes: “If you complain, perhaps you’re weak, perhaps you’re not really a man” Again, pulling deep on a fundamental identity, causing you to doubt yourself and keep it quiet.

And now with social media abuse, well… you know the line: “It’s just not very civilised, mature, spiritual or enlightened to make any public mention of it… It just gets into public battles, fuels gossip, makes YOU look petty… so better hold the higher ground and say nothing”… which is kinda like “Grin and bear it little boy” or “Be a man”…

Silence Protects The Perpetrator

If unchallenged and kept in the dark, abuses remain in shadow. We have seen it recently in the UK with many TV personalities who committed child abuse for years, finally brought to task. But the ‘civilised’ brush under the carpet approach had kept their behaviour alive for years.

Unchallenged, untruths and slanders broadcast on social media… Those poisonous thoughts, plausibly presented, that stick in people’s minds and influence their perspective… tend to remain and DO have an impact. It’s abusive, plain and simple.

There’s a strange and damaging phenomenon that commonly occurs in abuse cases: By heeding the advice and succumbing to the pressure to ‘not make a fuss’ and ‘keep quiet’, the person on the receiving end, ends up actually protecting the perpetrator by their silence.

For me, one of the biggest lessons throughout, and especially this year, has been that holding strong boundaries is a HUGE act of self love…

In the interests of ‘not keeping quiet’, I’m going to share a little of what happened this year and how I ‘held my boundary’.

But first, I want to address the damaging civility, especially as I have seen it show up in the spiritual and personal growth realms, that may prevent you from holding strong boundaries at times… So let’s take a clear look at boundaries:

Boundaries

“The river needs a boundary to find itself, and flow”

The river is not its banks, yet it requires them to be what it is.

In the same way, we are not our boundaries and yet our boundaries define who we are in the world of experience.

In spiritual growth there’s a lot of focus on connecting with your boundless ‘true’ nature, and that can be a wonderful thing.

The Non-Personal perspective, however, reminds you that there are many aspects of Self that go to make up our human experience. Including boundlessness AND the experience of everyday humanity.

It encourages you to receive the gift of wholeness which comes from noticing and honouring all their expressions.

A human life is full of contrasting experience. And boundaries can become a very important part of self care.

Historically I had no sense of personal boundaries. More of a puddle than a river. This was an expression of my identification with the idea that I didn’t matter. To assert boundaries would be an inconvenience to others.

I had a long spell of personal healing and deep emotional work, which did me a lot of good, but was underpinned with a philosophy that strongly identified Self with boundlessness… “I” still didn’t matter, after all “I” wasn’t real anyway… Just the illusion. So I still ran into all sorts of painful ‘boundary’ issues in my personal life.

Today, after 9 years of NPA, after 9 years of re-membering my WHOLE self… I am very clear on my boundaries. I’m very clear that I matter.

I am willing to be an inconvenience to the rock as I carve the valley, and leave my mark on the landscape.

The river of my life experience is clear and cherished and honoured for the path it takes.

The Universe, it seems, likes a test… and what happened this year certainly called me to back up those words with real-world action.

A Huge Act Of Self Love

No More!

As I said at the beginning, I reached my “NO MORE”… And this email is part of that… part of my prayer to the Universe that says I’m not going to be civilised, protective of the abuser or deny my instinctual need to roar… It’s the inconvenient truth, I’m finally willing to say.

I could go into to every sordid detail of what has happened. I’ve certainly written it all out a number of ways while composing this email, which while good therapy for me, does’t really serve you.

So I’m going to give you the bare-bones version and move onto how I chose to hold my boundary. Then I’ll share the key lesson I learned along the way, as best I understand it now, given that, in terms of the Anatomy of the Dark Night, I feel I’m still in stage 5 (Rebirth) and not quite fully in Stage 6 (Understanding).

So here goes… This is my “not keeping it quiet”… This is my NO MORE….

In the period from the end of December last year (2015), through to August this year (2016), my Ex engaged in behaviour that the police later described to me as “Very high on our own scale of harassment”

In a nutshell, she posted publicly on Facebook claiming I had “run off with another woman”, who she named… rallying a lot of support and bad feeling in my direction. What her Facebook friends (including 500 mutual friends, clients and customers) weren’t told, was that in the background she was sending streams of abusive, character assassinating texts and emails to me, and on several occasions sent unbelievably offensive emails direct to the person she considered ‘the other woman’.

The public posts happened after I had repeatedly asked her to stop, and when she hadn’t, I myself stopped responding… finally blocking her on every medium I could 8 months after it started. I guess she felt the public posts were her only route to continue her striking out.

In the end it has taken police intervention to bring it to a stop. And as you can probably guess, the police don’t get involved for just a few angry post-split interactions, which seem to be a normal, or at least common, part of the break up process in the digital age.

For the record, my Ex’s claim is not true, and she herself has told me face to face that she’s well aware that it is not.

The simple truth is, I left because of fundamental issues in our relationships with nobody else involved… I felt I had to leave because we had different dreams, different values and an unresolvable gap between the things that truly mattered to us.

Her justification, even to the police, was that she was hurt.

Feeling hurt when your partner of 6 years ends the relationship is very understandable. But we all have choices about what we do with those feelings.

And I had a very clear boundary around that:

While she is absolutely entitled to her feelings, she is definitely not entitled to slander or hurl abuse at me or anyone else she makes assumptions about.

I consider my life choices AFTER we split to be very much my choices to make. Very much my business and we were blocked from seeing each other others posts on all social media platforms from very early on… people block each other when they split, precisely to give each other space to move on… even so, it seems she saw them (there are always ways if you look hard enough) and took offence, as my posts were often the trigger.

I had repeatedly asked her to stop and she hadn’t. It just escalated. Which is why I felt compelled to go to the police for support.

Holding my boundary, even though it was repeatedly ignored was a huge act of self love for me. My urges to sacrifice myself in the name of being ‘loving’, ‘nice’ or ‘spiritually compassionate’ frequently vied to take the reigns. But I held my boundary.

Going to the police and actually asking for support was a huge act of self love. It took a LOT of focused, active self love, in spite of my mind demons telling me how pathetic it was of me, to go get backup and have my boundary honoured.

And sharing it now… here with you, is a huge act of self love, as I have learned the pain of silence in these matters, have a deep commitment to doing things differently, and again I have been faced with fears of your judgement…

But this time I have NPA…. Speaking of which…

What About Not Taking It Personally?

It’s a very fair question, given all that I teach, so let me explain:

NPA is definitely not about deleting all challenging life experiences, or the lessons and growth they bring. It’s certainly true that there are times when it will be within the Souls remit to simply have NPA end the suffering and for life to move on. However, there are also times when the Soul has a lesson plan and there’s be no avoiding it. In these cases I often see that NPA facilitates a clearer, suffering-reduced and often surprising route through the terrain.

The NPA I have done around this has enabled me to not take anybody’s response to me expressing this personally… so rather than being gagged, I can say what needs to be said in a way which is healing for me and hopefully offers some insight to you. NPA has enabled me to say what needs to be said regardless of what anyone else might make of it, regardless of any scary consequences that my mind would have me believe and in spite of my previous history.

As you are probably aware, these hugely significant life experiences can continue to be your teacher through life. Exposing ever deeper aspects of your shadow, and ultimately revealing ever brighter expressions of your light. That’s certainly been my experience.

Key Lesson

The key lesson for me is that sometimes holding a boundary meets huge resistance both internal and external. Holding the boundary regardless may rattle your world, but brings a deep inner resting, scatters the demons that have kept you small and builds a stable inner confidence that only comes from a bedrock of huge self love.

If you’re in a challenging boundary issue, the circumstances may be asking you:

• Do you love yourself enough to maintain your boundary in the face of the resistance?
• Are you willing to meet the fears and external pressures and still honour you?
• Are you willing to be an inconvenience?
• Are you ready to step openly into the world, as by holding a boundary you become very visible…
• Are you ready for the change that will bring?

I know there were two things I HAD to do before I could share all this. Firstly, I had to meet the ‘victim’ energy in me (I’ll cover this in a later post), and I had to NPA the heck out of all the responses I feared.

Just to be crystal clear, I’m not sharing this to illicit any kind of sympathy. I feel very empowered in relation to it now… though I couldn’t have said that in the midst of the dark night… I’m sharing it to honour myself, walk my talk and make a difference in the world.

And as ever I truly hope this inspires you to hold stronger boundaries, the willingness to speak up and ultimately continue to step more fully into beautiful you – especially should you experience any kind of abusive behaviour.

Get 1:1 support with Joel…

Kazy-Vincent Janes, a client from the UK said:

“A brilliant session and just perfect – thank you for amazing ability to hone and tune and hold and guide so superbly and uniquely for me”

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

 

An Offer Of Support:

As is often the way with therapists, facilitators and coaches I have helped countless clients who have experienced abusive situations find peace in their Souls, freedom from their past and a deep forgiveness they never thought possible. I also work with many people who suffer from the “I don’t matter syndrome” who tell me they come into a truly empowered place of loving and honouring themselves.

If YOU find you have difficulty with boundaries, you’re probably stuck in a rut and going nowhere… Maybe feeling worthless or trapped… Maybe finding you feel abused in some way…

If that’s your experience at all, I have to tell you, it is one of my passions to help people remember they matter.

And I’d love to help you uncover and honour your boundaries, discover your path and find your flow. Get you to a place where you’re carving your own valley and leaving YOUR mark on the landscape of your life.

Jx

PS If you find yourself judging what I have written as petty, unconscious, bitter or any such… Please ask yourself if you’ve ever DIRECTLY experienced this situation or are you coming from a conceptual notion of how you think someone OUGHT to deal with this, without any ACTUAL life experience of the situation? And if you think it’s ‘mean’ of me to ‘out’ my Ex in this way, I refer you back to how we are culturally pre-disposed to protect the abuser.

PPS. I’m aware that this blog is pretty raw, and may bring stuff up for you. So please know I am very open to feedback in the comments.

[JY-General-Bio]

 

Anatomy of The Soul’s Dark Night

anatomy-of-souls-the-dark-night

I have a deep Soul prayer for growth.

One of the biggest reasons I ended my 6 year relationship, was because of it.

I could feel that prayer like a low growl…

I imagine it like the kind of sound a flower might make, just as it prepares to crack open the bud.

I did all I felt I could to encourage the relationship to grow… to come with me… but it became clear to me that that wasn’t a possibility… not in the way that my growth was calling me.

Be Careful What You Wish For

There’s a saying: “Be careful what you wish for”… but I knew that.

The life of a growth seeking being is not about maintaining stability. It’s not about settling for ‘normal’. It’s rarely about security, striving for or subscribing to the known.

While these things things are welcomed as passing phases, growth requires chaos, destruction, dissolving, profound not-knowing.

A tree get’s its rings from seasonal growth cycles… In spring and summer it expands, which create its thick light rings. The thin dark rings come from autumn and winter, where the leaves have fallen and all appears dead. The energy of the tree comes inward, the growth appears to slow, and deep inner preparations are made for the coming spring.

I was under no illusion, that looking for growth would take me to my edges. After all, it’s only by going beyond your edges that you enter new territory.

Growth, of course, happens all the time. But sometimes a deep Soul prayer will take you into a deep dark night, and I have seen that there are specific qualities in that process which I would like to share with you here.

I must give credit to my colleague at The Inner Journey Clinic, Marion Young (no relation) who earlier this year helped me realise I was experiencing a dark night. It’s her framework (for the most part) I’m borrowing here… with my own twist and experience too.

So let’s look at the anatomy of the Soul’s dark night…

The 6 Stages of The Dark Night of The Soul

STAGE 1: A DEEP BREATH IN
Preceding the dark night, can be a spiritual high. A sense of completion, a break-through that appears to settle things. This could last for a while like a plateau of Graceful yumminess. But inevitably the Soul gets restless… And life usually presents a significant event which begins stage 2…

My Advice for Stage 1: Make the most of this time. On some level you’ve earned it – it’s blossoming time. Be available to the signs of winter coming if they do, but be present to the joy of now.

 

STAGE 2: THE FALL
The Fall is a crazy time. It can feel as if the rug has been pulled from under you. It’s a time where what has been known falls to pieces and there’s nothing to cling onto. Any attempts to maintain what has been can cause a great deal of pain and suffering… still it seems to be a natural human urge for us to try.

My Advice for Stage 2: As much as you can, embrace the fall. NPA can really help smooth the road here, as you let things go. In the same way that NPA has enabled some women to have swift and (in some cases) pain free child bird experiences, it can help you NOT cling and hold on as much – which is where the excess suffering can occur in this stage.

 

Learn How You Can Make Rapid Positive Shifts…

NPA Basic Training - Start Here“This video programme will walk you step by step through the core training of The NPA Process and give you what you need to get started making a difference in your life right away with NPA.”

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

STAGE 3: THE VOID
There comes a point where you realise there is nothing you can do. You are in the deepest darkness. During this stage there can be a loss of hope and trust, a sense of disillusionment. It’s a time where you (at a personality level) are choicelessly experiencing the deepest pain… the shadow. Feelings of shame, unworthiness, hatred (directed both inward and outward) can surface. And no matter what technique or approach you throw at it… any attempt to ‘fix’ it fails. This is a time of pure experience. Living through it is the only option.

My Advice for Stage 3: Give yourself FULL permission to be in it. Experience IS the point of this phase. You are literally LIVING the ‘stuff’ out. Reframing, processing, digging etc. can actually ADD suffering to the equation here. It IS really helpful however to get support from someone who can remind you to just be. A lot of times in my practice, my job is to remind people to stop and just be, rather than charging in with analysis and process work.

 

STAGE 4: DAWN BREAKS
At some point, seemingly by itself, the illusion collapses. Mercy steps in and cracks of light appear. This can happen without us immediately realising it, in the way that day can break while you’re still asleep. While there is a lightening, through this stage there remains exhaustion in the aftermath

My Advice for Stage 4: Engage in LOTS of self care and rest. The support of family and friends can be very important at this time. But come out slowly… don’t force your pace. A wise lizard knows not to go running straight out into the desert when its skin has shed. It waits for the expansion and some solidity in its new skin before venturing out.

 

STAGE 5: REBIRTH
Suddenly it IS time to emerge! An inner shift happens and your energy returns and it’s time to experience yourself anew in the world. It’s a time of discovery, where the impact of what has taken place can be determined and understood.

My Advice for Stage 5: This is very much another experiential stage, so again give yourself full permission to just live it. To make the most of this discovery stage, stay open. Resist the urge to label what you have become prematurely, as those labels can become limits. Give yourself space to ‘grow into it’

 

STAGE 6: UNDERSTANDING
Only once you have ‘lived’ the new you do you really understand the whole process. This is when you can begin to celebrate the process and truly appreciate the purpose and benefit of the experience.

My Advice for Stage 6: Let this understanding land in it’s own time. One of the things I see a lot with folk in the personal growth world is a rush to see the lesson in it all. In the dark night, necessarily, the earlier stages keep you ‘blind’ to the lesson, so give it time to ripen, and let it fall from the tree in its own time.

 

The Dark Night can be a tough time, full of confusion and lostness. You are meeting a fundamental aspect of your shadow, which ultimately grows you into something much greater.

I hope by laying out this map of the journey it helps you recognise if you (or someone you love) are in the process of the Dark Night of the Soul and you can move through it as resistance free as possible.

And, of course, I’m available for some 1:1 support…

Get 1:1 support with Joel…

Kazy-Vincent Janes, a client from the UK said:

“A brilliant session and just perfect – thank you for amazing ability to hone and tune and hold and guide so superbly and uniquely for me”

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

[JY-General-Bio]

Are You Willing To Be An Inconvenience?

are-you-willing-to-be-an-inconvenience

A huge part of awakening and healing is facing the uglier truths in yourself.

It’s not pretty.

It’s rarely neat & tidy.

But it’s a necessary part of the process.

The good news is, that when you really face some part of the shadow, the light of your awareness generally dispels it quickly. Certainly quicker than your mind would have you believe.

It’s the bursting of the abscess that stings, yet releases the poison and the pressure and allows the natural healing to begin…

Really Crap Dad

It’s June. The rain is pounding on the conservatory. I’m looking at a text from my daughter and feeling like a really crap Dad.

She feels hurt, and understandably so. She’s finished her 1st year university exams and I haven’t been in contact to ask her how they went.

“It’s not like you Dad” she says…

But if I’m honest with myself, since she went to University I’ve hardly initiated contact… “What the hell is that about?” I’m asking myself.

A very close friend is staying with me. She’s the kind of friend who says it straight. She has kids herself, so on this matter she’s got cred in my eyes. Seeing me looking distraught, she asks what’s going on.

I spew… and what comes out is how “I feel like an inconvenience”…

Reasons & Justifications

I have my reasons and justifications of course – all stories do… I’m estranged from her Mum, there’s been all sorts of challenges around access and visitations… and those have often been reflected in my daughter’s responses to my requests to see her… Now she’s at University and her Dad asking to see her is just gonna be an additional pressure on her… yada yada…

My friend calls it: “She’s your daughter for f*#ks sake! You’re her Dad. You’ve a right to be ‘an inconvenience’ if that’s what you are to her (which I doubt), and anyway, just call her and ask!”

BOOM!

I call my daughter. We have a real and emotional conversation. Things get sorted. We’ve been in a lot more contact since.

Revelations

“You’ve a right to be an inconvenience”

My friend’s words ring in my ear and I decide to do some NPA around it. “This I feel like an inconvenience, This energy of I feel like an inconvenience…”

I run through the process… and the realisations tumble out of me…

My whole life I’ve felt like an inconvenience.
Me showing up is an inconvenience.
Me asserting myself, standing up for myself, pushing myself forward… all an inconvenience.

And being an inconvenience has definitely NOT been OK in my world… In fact, the fear and avoidance of being an inconvenience has threaded its way through every aspect of my life…

It’s limited me in my relationships, my career, my willingness to go for it in life.

Just to be clear, at this point I was no wall flower. Years of work on clearing my avoidance of confrontation, discovering that I matter, building my self confidence had made me a changed man from the shut down boy I had been… So it wasn’t that…

The Peculiar Nuance

It was the peculiar nuance of being an ‘inconvenience’… a subtle extra layer, that could ever so slightly (and yet ever so impact-fully) skew my behaviour… keep me ’not toooo big’… ‘Not toooo much’… ‘Not toooo me’.

It’s one of the wonderful things about NPA: In finding the animated cookie cutters, you are finding the highly leveraged expressions, which uniquely connect you to the energy that needs to shift… They’re the small hinges that open huge doors… In a few minutes, a core issue had simply left…

NPA lets in the yummy stuff as well as letting out the yucky stuff, and it was natural for me to follow up by NPA’ing “I’m willing to be an inconvenience”… and moments later, I knew there’d been a foundational shift in my world.

I felt strong, whole and free.

As it happened, the Universe was about to give me an opportunity to test drive the new me… I’ll tell you about that when we come to “Boundaries & Self Love” in the email after next… But for now let me offer you some more good questions to ask yourself…

Good Questions To Ask Yourself

• Do you ever hold back from asking for what you want? If so when? With whom?
• Do you ever avoid difficult conversations? If so when? With whom?
• Do you find yourself backing down when you’re making your point? If so when? With whom?
• Are you willing to be an inconvenience? If not, when? With whom?

If you recognise any of these as part of your experience then you can do some NPA to move things through and shift your reality.

For me the word ‘inconvenience’ was really animated… it really connected for me. There may be a different word or phrase, that points to this energy/behaviour for you, so be open to that too.

Start Making Foundational Shifts In Your World With The Core NPA Training…

NPA Basic Training - Start Here“This video programme will walk you step by step through the core training of The NPA Process and give you what you need to get started making a difference in your life right away with NPA.”

CLICK HERE TO GET STARTED NOW

This was one of those times where my background shifted… My relationship to myself was fundamentally changed in a deeply impactful way. I AM willing to be an inconvenience, and my invitation to you (if you’re not there yet) is to find that willingness in you.

Love & Blessings

Jx

[JY-General-Bio]

Squashed Tomatoes & Speedy Transitions

SQUASHED TOMATOES & SPEEDY TRANSITIONS

Don’t apologise for using personal development tools, or the rapid shifts they bring…

This may seem like a strange thing to say, but here’s the thing…

I say all the time that NPA allows you to move through the challenges of life with tremendous speed and with relative ease.

This can be a challenge for people around you, if it doesn’t fit their expectations for what a ‘normal’ timescale is for such things.

Back in December of 2015, my 6 year relationship came to an end. This is a BIG deal in anyone’s life. There are cultural and habituated expectations about ‘taking time to heal’, ‘moving through the grief process’ and genuinely dealing with the pain of breakup.

But I did a LOT of NPA-ing

Using The Tools

I NPA’d around the grief, the lost dreams, the stories I had about what I wished she had been able to be, what I thought I should have been… Everywhere where there was pain lingering… Everywhere where my identity was tied to the relationship… Everywhere I felt conflicted, in spite of the clear truth that the decision was the right one.
I NPA’d my fears, my sadness AND what I wanted going forward.

It was amazing that after just a couple of weeks I felt incredibly clear, incredibly free and incredibly whole. I was ready to step out and discover myself anew.

What I didn’t expect was a backlash for doing just that.

Being happy, whole and vibrant ‘too soon’, it seemed was a crime.

Into the stocks with me, squashed tomatoes at the ready…

‘Insensitive’, ‘Unreal’, ‘Escapist’… these accusations came from various mutual friends of my X and mine.

Pause For Thought

I even got an unsolicited private message from a business coach who told me that my social media output, being ’too upbeat’ at this time was ‘Bad for business’! “People will see you as uncaring”, she said, “That could negatively effect your brand”. Now, I get that from her perspective, this was well intentioned… never-the-less, it really gave me pause for thought.

On one hand, she has a point.

As I’ve said, people can have a hard time if you step out of the box. It challenges their reality and they’d often much rather you get back in there. And if you don’t? They’ll likely find a way to put you back in… in their minds at least… labelled ‘uncaring’ for example. That can seem much easier to them than getting curious about a new possibility… and potentially rocking their world.

That may sound like I’m judging it, but actually I’m just stating an unfortunate truth about our society and culture in general today. The very one that the business coach was pointing to.

A Potent Question

But I asked myself a very potent question: “Do I want to align my energy with that thinking?”

The answer was a clear “No”

I replied to her that I taught tools that facilitated rapid change. More rapid than was normal. That that WAS my ‘brand’. I call myself a “21st Century Heretic” precisely because NPA challenges many of the modern day ’norms’.

What example would I be if I muted my living testament to that?
What integrity would I have?
What would I be teaching to those who decide to take full advantage of the tools I offer? That you can use them, but keep the results secret? Set yourself free with speed and ease, but hide the fact that you have?

It made no sense to do that.
It didn’t feel true.

It’s not that I’m devoid of compassion for other peoples pace, or that their perception and stories might cause them pain – quite the contrary. It’s just rare for anyone to leave their mark on the world and not offend anyone, right? And the best way to show the world a new possibility is to BE THAT, unashamedly.

Good Questions To Ask Yourself

So, here’s some good questions to ask yourself…

  • Do you limit your enthusiasm, your happiness or your wholeness to make those around you feel more comfortable?
  • Do you hide away the inner work you do, for fear of ridicule or change?
  • Do you shy away from inner work, or resist its impact because it might challenge the status quo?
  • Do you choose to align with limited ideas and possibilities, when inside you’re crying to step into your power?

If you do any of these, then start with some self-forgiveness… there’s a LOT of social pressure in there, and courage takes practice. Then you can look at, and shift, whatever is holding the pattern in place.

One great way to use NPA in this situation, is took look at what you fear other people might say? And what resistances and challenging emotions come up in you? Find some Cookie Cutters and NPA them… The revolutionary road could be smoother than you think.

Learn How You Can Make Rapid Positive Shifts…

NPA Basic Training - Start Here“This video programme will walk you step by step through the core training of The NPA Process and give you what you need to get started making a difference in your life right away with NPA.”

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

I was tempted by the resistance to mute myself, but I got the lesson.

Make No Apology

I make no apology for the fact that I am committed to using the tools I have.
I make no apology for the fact that NPA moved me through the pain of the break up faster than seemed ‘normal’ to some people.

I heartily encourage you to make no apology for your wonderful growth either. Stand in the glory of beautiful, exceptional you and you will be showing the world there’s a kinder, freer path available.

Life is short.
Who does it serve to play down your wholeness?
If you can save yourself months, even years, of suffering then why wouldn’t you?

[JY-General-Bio]

Be Your Beautiful Human Self

Be Your Beautiful Human Self

Let’s not limit life my awakened friend.

Even to a high ideal like enlightenment or purity or the quest for eternal health, wealth and happiness.

Let’s embrace all of those and still welcome the shadows that are cast by the light…

The lows, the confusion, the pains of separation and loss…

The dumb things we do and our unfixable blindness.

Let’s be fragile fools and kind kindred spirits together.

Let’s play and indulge our whims and our pleasures, and laugh at the divine ridiculous-ness of our existence.

Let’s embrace ALL our wonderful-mess and know our wholeness through it.

For life is amazing and rich through its contrast.

Its diversity is its gift and when you welcome it all you’re truly free to be your beautiful human self.

Love from my heart to yours,
Jx

[JY-General-Bio]

Where Is The Love? (Black Eyed Peas & The World, 2016)

Where Is The Love

Open your heart to this return from The Black Eyed Peas, re-imagining their song “Where is the love”…

AND remember that letting your Soul and heart be true and filled with love in service to yourself and all of humanity…

• DOESN’T mean being passive…
• DOESN’T mean using the spiritual concept of ‘boundless love’ as an avoidance of the raw truth of your humanity in the 21st century and
• DOESN’T mean plastering over your shadow with false positivity and denying your darker emotions

And it absolutely…

• DOES include speaking up and making your voice heard in the things that matter to you (this video is a great example of that… viva the love-revolution!)
• DOES include maintaining healthy boundaries for you… Standing behind your beautiful self with love and strength when they are transgressed and getting help if needs be
• DOES include loving you in all your wonderful-mess and doing whatever you can to acknowledge and face those darker emotions in you… dealing with them as self-responsibly as you can… and again, getting help if needs be

 

 

This song can remind us of the surge of connection so many felt when it first came out… AND how, right now, it seems like the love is far away when you look at the world stage…

BUT we have grown… we ARE growing collectively and meeting the shadows of human consciousness at a deeper level… it comes to the surface ‘out there’ and ‘in here’ so each of us can play our part, and remember our wholeness as an even greater expression of love.

Hugs, Jx <3

 

[JY-General-Bio]

Finding Gratitude When You Feel Anything But Grateful

Finding Gratitude When You Feel Anything

When I feel locked up with stress, one of my go-to fast tracks to release and relief is gratitude. Gratitude (for even the tiniest of things) opens doors to the energy of love. In fact, consciously bringing your attention to gratitude is in itself an act of self love.

But, it’s not lost on me that there are times it feels like there’s no freakin’ way you can access gratitude in the midst of life’s challenges. So I want to share with you, a surprising yet magical way to ‘bridge’ from the deepest doo doo, to gratitude and self love…

This One Tip Might Shock You, But It Could Be The Epiphany That Sets You Free:

Here’s the tip…

Gratitude can F**k off

This might seem kinda weird, seeing as I’m advocating gratitude but I’m even more an advocate for starting where you are.

If the thought you should be, could be or would be better off being grateful comes in the midst of you having a low-vibe moment AND it’s met with fierce internal resistance… Then please, for the love of God, honour your authentic experience in the moment.

Be fully present to the resistance and give it an outlet. Let it move!

For you it might not be the words “Gratitude can F off”… But let the resistance have its voice in some form.

The amazing thing about doing this is that you step into a space of ‘not resisting the resistance’… In other words you move surprisingly effortlessly into non-resistance.

The thing is, if an inspiration to gratitude has come knocking on your door, then it’s already hanging around in your energy… It’s right there, even if the resistance has been blocking the doorway to you experiencing it.

Once you honour the resistance and let it move, there will be space…

You’ll feel it… You’ll feel things move…

Perhaps you’ll chuckle as you tell gratitude where to go?
Perhaps there’ll be a sense of immediate relief, which you feel physically, emotionally or mentally?
Or maybe those tears you’ve been needing to shed will finally come?

 

The beauty of this is that once things move, the door will be clear and open and gratitude can just slip quietly in… kind of all by itself…

And perhaps you’ll discover you’re grateful that you honoured YOU and gave yourself permission to tell gratitude to F off… And gratitude for THAT is suddenly oh so welcome…

Here’s to the ongoing flow of your beautiful, human, authentic self…

Gratitude,

Jx

[JY-General-Bio]

Are You On The Enlightenment Hamster Wheel? (Discover the biggest myth of the Spiritual search)

Enlightenment Hampster Wheel

 

Have you ever spent time striving vigilantly to experience the ‘real’ you?

Has it ever felt like you’re trying to towel yourself dry in a rain storm?

I’m going to tell you how you can stop and get off the enlightenment hamster wheel, but first, let’s look at the problem…

I recently saw a picture quote that someone shared by Eckhart Tolle. It said,

“Boredom, anger, sadness or fear are not ‘yours’, not personal. They are conditions of the human mind. They come and go. Nothing that comes and goes is you”

 

Of course I agree that these states are not personal. However, the danger of pointing to a ‘you’, in terms of that which doesn’t change, is that you then seek a ‘you’ that is constant.

The thing is, even experiences of some apparently constant backdrop; Experiences of ‘consciousness’, ‘Being’, ‘pure awareness’, ‘oneness’ etc… Experiences which are so often labelled as the ‘real you’… These too are ultimately experiential states which come and go. Even these, fundamentally, are not personal.

So the search for some constant, ‘real’ you can bring about a lot of confusion, disillusionment and lostness

“So who the heck am I then?” You may well ask?

Well…

  • What if you could let go of the either/or… Either I’m this or that?

  • What if you stopped limiting your sense of ‘who you really are’ to a single, or small set of labels which negate, deny or implicitly judge a vast spectrum of human experience?

  • What if you even dropped the whole spiritual ideal of a real vs unreal you?

And…

  • What if you accepted that all you have as a human being is your personal experience of the non-personal?

  • What if you embraced the notion that the self is a fluid thing; a community of dancing energies ‘pulling shapes’ in your own style, in time to the Universal pulse?

  • What if you ended the war with your personality/ego… And everyone else’s for that matter..?

Take a moment, and let those sink in…

Non-Personal Awareness invites you to let go of any spiritual judgements and welcome the dynamic wholeness of your beautiful self.

Why?

Because those that do, say they experience:

  • A tremendous amount of relief on all levels…

  • An ease of being which picks up the flow of life in all its multi-faceted expression…

  • A real-world passion re-igniting in their bodies and hearts…

  • A longed for depth of connection with their fellow humans, finally has space to land…

  • And of course, the healing & wellbeing benefits of deeply realising that none of it is personal…

How?

Well perhaps just me offering this perspective permanently shifts yours in some profound way?

That would be wonderful!

The cultural conditioning to search for, or try to be, some idealised spiritual ‘self’ runs deep.

So for most people, even if they’ve done a lot of work on themselves, to come full-bodied into the freedom and ease of the non-personal perspective takes practice over time. But it’s not an arduous practice and comes with a LOT of secondary benefits…

It starts with The NPA Process… A simple, six line, spoken word process that allows you to let go of the yukky stuff and let in the yummy stuff of life. It allows you quickly and simply, to truly GET that stuff like anger, depression, illness, relationship struggles, a sense of lack and so many other struggles are not ‘yours’. And in that realisation those states can leave, kind of all by themselves…

It sounds incredible, but I’ve got stacks of testimonials from people all over the world who have experienced this.

Over time, as you work on this or that struggle, the wider understanding that nothing, fundamentally, is personal begins to establish itself as a core awareness within your psyche. And THAT’s when you’re world becomes very free, very connected, very vibrant and deeply delicious.

You need the Basic Training to really get started on this journey and there’s an online video course here:

THE NPA PROCESS: BASIC TRAINING…

NPA Basic Training - Start Here“This video programme will walk you step by step through the core training of The NPA Process and give you what you need to get started making a difference in your life right away with NPA.”

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

Takeaway

But if you take anything away from this article, let it be this:

If you want to get off the spiritual hamster wheel of searching for (or trying to be) some idealised ‘Self’. Then embrace the notion that who you are is a fluid, dynamic thing and that the wonder of life is to discover who or what that is in each moment.

Love & Blessings,

Joel x

[JY-General-Bio]