I was working with a client last week and got into some interesting territory around cravings she was experiencing. Inevitably, we looked at it through the lens of non-personal awareness. One of the hall marks of the non-personal perspective is to switch from a personalised view point to a relational one.
It was very powerful for her to take the following steps when the cravings came calling.
But, first off, it bears saying that some cravings are just natural hunger, and some are telling you that you’re deficient in some nutrient, so not all of them are ‘unhealthy’. This approach is for those cravings you know to be unhealthy…
THE 5 STEPS
1) Align with the personalised truth of the moment…
When a craving hits you, it’s been embodied, so you have personalised the energy. To put that another way, you have claimed the craving as yours and made it part of yourself. I often espouse the value of ‘Starting where you are’, it ground you into the current reality and means your movement from there is more connected and so, more impactful. You can do this with a simple statement: “I have a craving”
2) Step into the non-personal, relational perspective…
You are not, in fact, the craving. That might seem like an obvious statement but it’s so automatic to personalise these independent energies, that we often miss the blindingly obvious. A simple statement will help you move from the personalised, to the non-personalised perspective: “There is a craving”
3) Understand that an unhealthy craving is driven by pain…
This is true of any imbalanced behaviour – underlying it is some form of pain, driving a misdirected behavioural response, which is what marks it as ‘unhealthy’. So now you have untangled yourself from the energy of the craving in step two, you can begin to see this more clearly. A statement will help you align with this perspective: “The craving is in pain”
4) Align yourself with compassion for the craving…
This is not about figuring out what the pain is, analysing it or fixing it. Simply allowing yourself to acknowledge that the craving is a distinct energy and it is in pain generally elicits your natural human response of compassion, and compassion is an empowering perspective for you personally. There’s no statement as such here, but if compassion isn’t coming naturally, try imagining the craving as a little puppy in pain… that usually does the trick 😉
5) Open the possibility of another action or behavioural response…
An unhealthy craving is fixated on a particular behaviour or action as the antidote to it’s pain – be that eating, smoking or whatever. When you ‘give in to’ or are ‘taken over by’ it, when you personally identify with it, you are subject to that belief and behaviour. Now that you have untangled from it and are in a space of compassion, you’re in a much stronger place to open the doors of possibility. Again this is not about figuring out what that is – in the non-personal the ‘mechanisms’ are given space to find you. The point is to align you, and the relational space between you and the craving, with the energy of option rather than a singular and unhealthy route. In other words, it puts possibility in the pot. A simple statement will do this: “There is another way”
As I said, my client found this incredibly helpful, so I thought I would share it with you and hope that it makes a difference to your life experience. I’d love to hear what you experience, so please share in the comments below… and share it on social media if you feel your friends and those in your network could benefit from it.
Have you ever been in a situation where the people around you are in an absolute stink? A prolonged state of ‘negativity’ where it seems like nothing you say or do, no matter how well intentioned, can encouraged them to come back into their heart?
My name is Joel Young and I’m the creator
of The NPA Process, a beautifully simple way to stop taking things personally.
This video addresses the issue of dealing with intense negativity in terms of basic human interaction. It comes in the understanding that human relations are often where our deepest crap hits the proverbial fan, rarely stopping to consider the sanitised suggestions proffered by our more enlightened aspects.
I’ve experienced this many many times in my life and I’ve learned some valuable lessons along the way.
I’m not generally big on formulas, but it IS nice to have some options.
So here’s a list of 10 things I’d like to share with you, that I’ve found helpful when I’m dealing with intense negativity. If you can assimilate even one of them in the heat of the moment, you’ll be doing yourself (and the other person) a big favour.
So let’s get started…
1. Re-Think The Label ‘Negativity’
When you label someones expressions as ‘negative’ you enter dangerous territory.
Now, It’s not that I’m saying there’s anything intrinsically bad or wrong with the term negativity, I’m simply suggesting you examine what you are really saying when you use it, and how that impacts your experience: your thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
I could say a LOT about this, but the main point I want to highlight is that in the context of heated interactions: Watch out for the tendency to fall into the trap of using the term ‘negativity’ as one of the following: a judgement, a defence, an attack from a position of superior enlightenment, to assert yourself as a victim, to negate their perspective or deny their experience.
All of those will cause YOU pain and I’m encouraging you to be as aware as possible about how YOUR label for THEIR experience impacts YOUR experience.
When we’re uncomfortable with someone else’s expression, it’s very easy to believe the notion that they ought to be different than they are – after all, YOU can see that they would be much happier if they only followed your helpful advice and, of course, it would certainly be easier for you!
Again, I’m not saying that your helpful insights aren’t awesome, and if they did do what’s bleedin’ obvious to you, perhaps they would feel a whole lot better!
The slippery slope here is when you become attached to your way and then suddenly you have an agenda.
Agenda’s limit possibilities. They can make you go deaf & blind to the other person, to yourself and tend to create strong undercurrents of pressure to have themselves fulfilled.
Pressure and heat is exactly what you need for an explosion – just sayin’
The truth is that they need to be where they are right now – at least for now. And as humans we tend to resist when our natural pace is forced.
There’ll be time for suggestions or for offering a perspective or for finding a way through that works for them (whether you agree with it or not) – and that time might not be now.
When you drop your agenda, you’ll be more available to notice that moment when it arises.
3. Don’t Take It Personally
Well, of course, this list would not be complete without a reference to NPA would it?
So… Lots of wise sages have advised people not to take these things personally – and trust me it’s good advice!
I have dedicated nearly a decade of my life to sharing the multifaceted and fundamentally non-personal nature of reality… And sometimes, especially in these situations, it comes down to this: It’s just not about you!
Of course, when someone’s deepest doo doo is being flung in your face, it can be easier said than done to not take it personally, but fortunately the human race now has The NPA Process which gives us a simple and effective way to cut through the sh*t (pun intended) and come up smelling of roses (I may have overdone and/or mixed my metaphors – but you get the point!).
I’ve experienced it myself AND had amazing feedback from so many other people who have stepped out of a heated situation, taken themselves through an NPA Process and found they really CAN stop taking it personally and become freer to act from a wholesome place.
On my website (see below) you’ll find a free and simple exercise called ‘Don’t Take Them Personally’. It will show you exactly how to use The NPA Process in these situations and I highly recommend you get it.
GET THE “DON’T TAKE THEM PERSONALLY†EXERCISE
Learn how you can feel clear and centred around the people in your life who say or do things that cause you stress
This suggestion may seem hard to swallow, and it often requires us to be able to genuinely get the hang of suggestions 1, 2 & 3 – so: drop the label of negativity, drop the agenda and not take it personally – before we’re able to really listen. But when you DO really listen, magic can happen.
There can be lots of ‘faux’ listening going on, especially where an agenda is running in the background – and in fact, that is not listening.
Truly listening can be miraculous, but listening in order to get a miracle – well, we’re back to agenda again :p
Listening without an agenda is just that. Listening. Nothing added. You might be amazed what gets said when they realise you’re really listening.
5. Listen To You
There’s a saying that ‘misery loves company’ which points to our very natural human longing for agreement. In the heat of their deepest pain people often seek agreement from those around them.
And when I say seek, as you know, it often comes out as demand right?
Now, Our culture is full of mixed messages in this arena.
We’re taught, for example: “It is kind and loving to sympathise and support someone in their painful storiesâ€
This is something many would agree with, and it’s my opinion that there IS a place for this in the bish bosh of day to day human bonding. Validation can be an important part of dialogue.
Conversely we are told “where attention goes energy flowsâ€, which in this context is kind of a rebranding of “don’t throw fuel on the fireâ€. In other words, if you give their negativity attention it will just get worse.
Then there’s the old chestnut: “If I don’t put ’em straight they’ll never learn  And sometimes a strong alternative perspective is exactly what’s needed…
The reality is, there’s no ONE approach that will be right for all situations, and you can’t truly know how the other person will respond whichever path you choose. To sympathise, to challenge, to ignore, to confront…? What to do? What to do?
All you can do is listen to you as best you can, and follow those inner prompts, knowing that they, ultimately, come from a wider awareness. Plus, this way, at least you stay with yourself.
6. Ask Yourself: Is It Kind To Me?
This inner inquiry came to me in the middle of a drawn out domestic some years ago.
Kindness has always been important to me and the question I used to ask was focused very much in the outward direction. “What’s the kind thing for me to do†would be translated as “how can I express kindness towards them“.
What I realised though is that sometimes, my attempts at kindness would be very painful for me, and would often backfire and cause greater stress in my beloved at the time.
The thing is, I was excluding myself completely from the kindness equation.
So, on this occasion I was laying next to my wife at the time, both of us worn out from the long fight. I knew she was still mad at me and very much unresolved… and the truth is, so was I.
Then arose my usual urge to make peace… To open my heart and reconnect and I began to reach out my hand to touch her softly and comfort her… Suddenly the words rang loudly in my head: “Is it kind to YOU Joel?â€
My hand stopped in it’s tracks as the realisation dawned. “No, it bloody well isn’t kind to me†and then, I realised, it wouldn’t really have been kind to her either.
It would have been a false move, borne from my agenda to stop the discomfort I felt with the conflict! It would have been a lie to her and a lie to myself.
My hand withdrew and I lay in the truth, and let her be – free to lay in hers. Something in me softened.
So my suggestion is: before you act to appease, to agree, to shout, to run – whatever – ask yourself “Is it kind to me?â€. If it is? Chances are it’s the kindest thing you can do all round.
OK, this one is real simple. You’re gonna cock it up on numbers 1-6 at some point (and numbers 8-10 for that matter!). You just are – that’s your humanity.
So give yourself a break.
Sometimes, what is, is just gonna be: “I’m fed up with the unconscious negativity of the miserable bugger. Why won’t they just think differently like I tell ’em AND I’ve been as kind to them as I can possibly be in spite of their mood! What about me!!!!???†lol
Give yourself a break. There’s another breath coming.
8. Remove Yourself From The Situation
Sometimes you’ve just gotta get out. Get away from it. This links right back to listening to and being kind to you. There are times when it’s time to stay and work it through, and times when something inside says it’s time to go.
This is true in a small temporary way – where you just need to take yourself off for a walk, a bike ride, for a coffee or whatever… AND it can also be true in a bigger way, where it’s time to leave the relationship altogether.
When you listen in and pay close attention, and are willing to be kind to you, the thousand-and-one rational thoughts that would keep you in the painful crap longer than is ‘true’ won’t get a look in.
9. Affirm Your Willingness To Be There When They’re Ready
In relational dynamics, especially if it’s that time to go take a breather (and it’s not the grand finale), I’ve found that it’s kinder all round if you can offer some sense of reassurance as you step away.
It may seem that the other person can neither hear you nor cares, but something inside them is listening.
So saying things like “I’m here when you’re ready, I know we can work this out, and I need to go right now†tend to tear less at the bonds between you.
This isn’t only a sound approach at the times when you need to walk away for a bit, but all throughout communications at these heated times.
The more you can offer statements of intent to work it out together, to hear them, to be there: it’s all good (as long as it’s kind to you).
But really – don’t under estimate the value of another perspective in these kind of situations. We all need a helping hand sometimes <3
One More thing…
What if YOU are the source of ‘intense negativity’?
In that case, watch this video again and see if you can recognise how there’s a part of you that needs to ‘re-think the label’, ‘drop the agenda’ etc etc – give yourself a break and Do some NPA!!
Give It Some Love
So… Perhaps you have ideas I’ve never even thought of? Maybe one of these 10 suggestions has given you an aha moment or helped you in some specific way? Maybe you have a strong opinion about one or all of these?
Please let me and others know in the comments and why not share this if you’ve found it helpful
Also go visit my website: NonPersonalAwareness.com where you’ll find the free and simple exercise called ‘Don’t Take Them Personally’. Remember, it will show you exactly how to use The NPA Process in these situations and I highly recommend you get it.
[or use the link in the box below]
GET THE “DON’T TAKE THEM PERSONALLY†EXERCISE
Learn how you can feel clear and centred around the people in your life who say or do things that cause you stress
How do we resolve the paradox of eternal presentness and the construct of time, in our ever-so-spiritually aware world? It’s been a conundrum to be sure.
One of the things I found after NPA became intricately enmeshed with my world, was that many apparent spiritual paradoxes faded into smiles as the non-personal perspective came alive in me. So I thought I would offer the non-personal perspective into this debate, as it’s one that has caused confusion and consternation in many an awakened Soul.
Now is Good. Future is Bad.
This cheeky little subtitle references George Orwell’s Animal Farm, where the sheep chant the pigs decree: “Four legs good, two legs bad”…
Well, it’s a popular view in modern spirituality, that experiencing the ‘now’ is good, whilst entertaining the future (or past for that matter) is somehow less enlightened. For those who approach spirituality as a goal oriented sport (obviously not you, but you probably know someone who does) this is high octane fuel for your seeker missiles. Eternal presents, a fine target to aim for…
The thing is, you are in the present moment anyway. How could you be anything else?
The mechanism of experience is the same regardless of time constructs.
The Present is the touch point of, and cornerstone reference for, our human experience.
There’s nothing YOU have to DO to be present.
And even the EXPERIENCE of the present is a construct.
This, my friend, is the realisation that you ARE what you are seeking… there is nothing for YOU to DO…
In that, all constructs are free to come and go. Past, Future, Present… the dream… the experience…
We are, quite simply, witnessing and experiencing a stream of translations in the matrix of infinite possibility. The stream unfolds as it does, and sometimes future flavoured translations float by…
So, I encourage you to enjoy the game of future events, and watch the unfolding of reality in the present.
Namaste, eternal time travellers 😉
[JY-General-Bio]
Tweetables:
“You are in the present moment anyway. How could you be anything else?” via @JoelYoungNPA
“The Present is the touch point of, and cornerstone reference for, our human experience” via @JoelYoungNPA
“There’s nothing YOU have to DO to be present” via @JoelYoungNPA
“We are witnessing & experiencing a stream of translations in the matrix of infinite possibility” via @JoelYoungNPA
“I encourage you to enjoy the game of future events, and watch the unfolding of reality in the present” via @JoelYoungNPA
In this Musing on NPA & Life, I’m going to let you know why the story that we need to re-write our personal history in order to heal isn’t necessarily true, and how NPA can help you find your natural path to healing; whatever that may be.
The Definitive Position
There are lots of ‘stories’ flying around in the world of human transformation, positive thinking and healing that are presented as ‘the definite position’. One of the reasons I sometimes refer to myself as a ’21st Century Heretic’ is that I like to examine this new doctrine, with an intention of promoting a perspective of unlimited possibility, co-creation and ongoing evolution.
Most of these ‘definitive positions’ are taken because of an experience of things working that way. So there IS an element of truth to them.
THE Way To Heal
Let’s take our topic-du-jour – healing. It would be true to say that many people have had tremendous success in healing by addressing their issues through following this idea:
“It took root as the result of something in my past, so if I can access whatever set things up this way and change the settings to something better, then I will heal”
The journey to your past can be fun. It can give the mind a recognisable, reason based and understandable story about what caused things to be as they are. It can also help relax the mind about the changes that are be-coming. It can be juicy and it scratches the itch of ‘why?’
This can be a great thing and certainly, in some cases, it’s A good way. But the leap from A WAY to THE WAY can be a trip to limitation and, perhaps even denial of an altogether simpler way.
The reality is that people all over the world are experiencing healing in a million different ways, with most of them not necessarily linking their healing to their past, or changing their thoughts, feelings or beliefs about their ‘history’ in any way.
I like to think that this demonstrates the kindness and flexibility of The Universe in how it answers our prayers – not just for healing, but for the journey of healing that will suit us best.
NPA is just a few simple words; six simple lines. Sometimes you don’t feel a thing. Sometimes you do.
It doesn’t lead you to some place ‘not here’ that you need to get to, in order to meet an idea of what it takes to heal. For example, you are not required to go to the past if that’s not where you’re hanging out naturally. You’re not required to determine ‘how that makes you feel’ if your natural expression is not emotional. You are not required to figure out what you would have to believe in order to feel this way if you ARE experiencing emotions! NPA simply meets you where you are.
NPA has shown me time and again that spontaneous healings can just sort of happen.
And what I have seen much more often with NPA is that it works with our humanity. It honours our longing for the story of our lives. It respects our minds’ childlike need for understanding and opens the way for the most appropriate mechanism to show itself.
You could say that NPA turns on the landing lights for your dreams and prayers. It makes the path that suits you best really clear, and facilitates a nice soft landing.
Life Has Space To Answer
That might be a spontaneous healing. Or it might be that you suddenly feel inspired to have a session in another healing modality – one that uses physical touch, or one that works with your thoughts or emotions – or perhaps even one that addresses the past!
Whatever it is, I often hear that the path is made clear, automatic even and that it runs smooth. Life has space to answer, and to answer in ways that work easily, naturally & sustainably for you.
With all these conflicting definitive positions flying around which tell you with conviction what is required for you to heal can get confusing. So, it’s a wonderful thing to have NPA as A way to help your most natural healing path show itself to you. :0)
[JY-General-Bio]
More Tweetables:
“NPA has shown me time & again that spontaneous healings can just sort of happen” via @JoelYoungNPA
“It’s a wonderful thing to have NPA as A way to help your most natural healing path show itself to you” via @JoelYoungNPA
In this Musing on NPA & Life, I am inviting you to contemplate some non-personal notions & see where that takes you…
The thing about simply contemplating, and meeting any perspective as a notion (and folks – all we have are notions about the mystery) is that it invites an opening without agenda.
Agendaless-ness is at the heart of NPA and its a beautiful paradox that so much power becomes available as you loosen the grip of knowing and control, and allow the discovery to begin.
So contemplate these 7 notions i.e. read one, take a deep breath & close your eyes, ponder it, try it on for size and see what arises…
Just 1 minute on each will have a profound impact on your vibe… (longer would be awesome!) – it’s your gift to yourself ♥
CONTEMPLATION 1: THIS IS WHAT PERFECTION LOOKS LIKE
Perfection is not about Happy Clappy LaLa land in permanent stasis, it’s about Divine Order – everything in the Universe exactly where it’s meant to be, which is where it is, in each moment – “Reality”, as Byron Katie puts it.
For you and your experience, that may be up, it may be down; a co-ordinate within the constant motion of Life.
In any case, I invite you to contemplate the notion that this (whatever you are experiencing right now) is what perfection looks like.
CONTEMPLATION 2: STUCKNESS IS IMPOSSIBLE
Everything is Energy. Energy exists in waves. Waves are in constant motion… constant motion is not stuck-ness, even though it can appear to be so…
So contemplate the notion that: “At a quantum level, everything is in constant motion. Stuckness, fundamentally, is impossible”
CONTEMPLATION 3: YOU ARE NOT THE ACTIVE FORCE
If you follow any thought, impulse or inspiration back to it’s source you will very quickly get beyond the self. In may ways that Del Amitri song ‘Always The Last To Know’ speaks a profound truth of our personal experience.
We like to think we are in charge, in control, the decider, but there are stupendous, enormous beyond comprehension, out of this world crazy big creative forces at work. The possibility matrix accounts for the sum of the Totality of experience across the multiverses and the bottom line in each moment gets expressed through you via thought/impulse/inspiration/decision.
As Ramesh S Balsekar, one of my fave Enlightened Master’s says: “Always a happening, never a doerâ€
At first this notion can seem disempowering and devastating to our inner control freak (we all have one), however this non-personal perspective soon reveals itself to be a liberation. Also, when you’re done contemplating, you can check my previous post called Bad News For Control Freaks
So, I invite you to contemplate the notion:
“You are being moved, being breathed, being ‘doneÂ’. You are not the active force; rather the receiver and expression of it.â€
Learn How You Can Make Rapid Positive Shifts…
“This video programme will walk you step by step through the core training of The NPA Process and give you what you need to get started making a difference in your life right away with NPA.”
Sit with this one, especially if your road to healing, or path to awakening finds you judging, belittling, labelling as ‘less Spiritual’ or attempting to ‘rid’ yourself of any particular experience or aspect of yourself…
Contemplate notion 4: “Your Ego & your Soul are sibling children of God, loved equally and unconditionally”
CONTEMPLATION 5: IF YOU PARENT YOURSELF…
In my many years of self-healing and working with countless clients, I noticed that most painful behaviours were born from ‘child’ consciousness’ or young identities looking for something… Love, protection, acknowledgement, understanding etc etc…
The child energy seeks parental energy… And yet we tend to “personalise” parental energy, and therefore limit it’s origin, to our parents and carers.
So if the flow of parental energy through these fine people is shaped in a way that didn’t connect with our various child energies, an unmet need is generated.
The good news is that parental energy is non-personal and can joyfully flow through you to your child energies in exquisitely precise ways.
Through this notion I was liberated from my personal history, so I invite you to contemplate…
“If you parent yourself in all the ways you wish you had been parented, then Love will run amok in your heart, where need once did”
There’s also a more in depth blog on this subject HERE
CONTEMPLATION 6: YOUR MIND JUST OPENED…
Aligning with the forceless force that animates all experience is only a contemplation away. And the forceless force is EXPANDING the entire Universe – at a physical and quantum level, so I invite you to align with it as you contemplate the notion…
“Your mind just opened a little bit wider, your breath just got a little bit deeper & a quiet ease just crept silently into your Soul…”
CONTEMPLATION 7: BEING YOU IS THE GIFT
As we come to the end of this series of contemplations, let’s contemplate a little deeper…
Notion 7 is: “Being You is the greatest gift you can offer the Earth”
So what is ‘You’?
Who are ‘You’?
What does Being You look like?
There are lot’s of ‘standard’ spiritual answers to these questions… I am everything, I am nothing, I am a spiritual being in a human body… yada yada…
And I would invite you to contemplate the notion WITHOUT the baggage of Spiritual knowledge…
“Being YOU is the greatest gift you can offer the Earth”
Contemplate… Ponder… Wonder…
And enjoy the presence of discovery….
——-
I hope these notions have stirred you, moved you, touched you or awakened something in you – even if it’s confirmation of your own perspective… And if they have please pay it forward and share this blog <3
[JY-General-Bio]
Tweetables
Contemplate the question ‘Who am I?’Â WITHOUTÂ the baggage of Spiritual knowledge (via @JoelYoungNPA)
Contemplate, Ponder, Wonder… and enjoy the presence of discovery…. (via @JoelYoungNPA)
“Being YOU is the greatest gift you can offer the Earth” @JoelYoungNPA #quote
“Aligning with the forceless force that animates all experience is only a contemplation away” @JoelYoungNPA #quote
A forceless force is EXPANDING the entire Universe at a physical and quantum level; I invite you to align with it (via @JoelYoungNPA)
“Most painful behaviours are born from ‘child’ consciousness’ or young identities looking for something” @JoelYoungNPA #quote
“The child energy seeks parental energy. But we personalise the energy & limit it’s origin to our parents and carers” @JoelYoungNPA #quote
“Your Ego & your Soul are sibling children of God, loved equally and unconditionally” @JoelYoungNPA #quote
In may ways that Del Amitri song ‘Always The Last To Know’ speaks a profound truth of our personal experience :0) (via @JoelYoungNPA)
We like to think we are in charge, in control, the decider, but grand energies prior to consciousness are more causal than our personal choices
“The possibility matrix accounts for the sum of the Totality of experience & expresses it as impulse/inspiration/decision” via @JoelYoungNPA
“Always a happening, never a doerâ€Â Ramesh S Balsekar (via @JoelYoungNPA)
“At a quantum level, everything is in constant motion. Stuckness, fundamentally, is impossible” @JoelYoungNPA #quote
“Perfection is not about Happy Clappy LaLa Land in a permanent positively biased stasis, it’s about Divine Order” @JoelYoungNPA #quote
“Meeting any perspective as a notion (& all we have are notions about the mystery) invites an opening without agenda” @JoelYoungNPA #quote
“So much power becomes available as you loosen the grip of knowing and control” @JoelYoungNPA #quote #wisdom
Back then, there was an urge for ME to fill the void.
Say something!
Say anything!
And if my racing, fill-the-void mind can’t find something to say, then please-oh-please can one of you get your fill-the-void mind to fill it for us!?
Then came a great relief in the realisation that the source of all experience is prior to self…Â It’s the first of 3 keys I’ve found to living (and speaking) your Divine Expression…
And I’m going to walk you through each of them here…
KEY 1: The Source Of All Experience Is Prior To Self
I suppose that could do with a little further explanation – so if you’re up for it, come down the proverbial rabbit hole with me…
“Enlightened Masters, Quantum Physicists & Brain Researchers agree that fundamentally there’s no personal causality & every perceived reality is entirely at consequence to God/The Field/The Subconscious (pick your label)”
A slightly softer way to look at this, is to say there’s a heck of a lot going on that you are simply not aware of. And this stuff has way more influence than most people ever dare contemplate.
And… if I’m really honest, using the word ‘influence’ is pulling my punches. Â
How so?
Well, if you follow any thought, impulse or inspiration back to it’s source, you’ll very quickly get beyond the self and into a much grander, more intricately connected consciousness.
For example: A simple act of ‘personal will’ like picking an ice cream flavour…
Vanilla or Chocolate? Your choice right? Let’s follow the trail…
Well it might land in your ‘actionable mental inbox’ as a preference, in the form of a thought: “I fancy chocolate today”… but where did that thought come from? What was the source of that thought..?
Now clearly there isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer to that, and you’re unlikely to truly experience the answer by chasing it with another thought.
But if you ask yourself the question “What is the source of this thought/experience?” and let the answer find you… then you’ll likely have a direct experience of something greater than your personal self.
Things I have heard when I’ve done this exercise with people include:
Sometimes it takes a few steps… like “Well I felt like it”… OK, so what is the source of that feeling? “Er… well it’s like pleasure”… Great, so what is the source of that pleasure? “Er… I don’t know”… Great so what is the source of that not knowing? “Ooh… it’s like a vastness”… you get the idea.
Some would argue that this is still the self, or even some ‘truer‘ Self.
That, unfortunately, is simply a modern re-imagining of our pre-Galileo notion that the Earth was the centre of the Universe, around which all things revolved. Â
I know it may be seen like heresy in the modern Spiritual age, and I’m inviting you to consider that both these ideas serve to keep the self safe in a bubble of (ahem) self-importance and the illusion of control.
With a little dogma-free, and sober inquiry this vast consciousness reveals itself to be beyond local/personal comprehension and control. It’s the non-personal, and as long as I exist as distinctly me – even a grand idea of me as a Soul, or God itself –  there’s a ‘me’ and the relationship I have with the unknowable beyond.
In other words, there’s a distinct ‘you’ which is only a tiny part of something much greater.
So I call it God, the Infinite Field or some other derivative, and through my relationship with it, I come to know it and myself as best I can.
So what’s all this got to do with words speaking you?
KEY 2: Shifting Your Attention From ‘The Causal I’ to ‘The Receptive I’
Once you become aware that you are part of something bigger, you can begin to make a paradigm shift in the areas of responsibility, attention & control.
It’s a process over time, but when you really get that the experience of self is at consequence to a greater force, your attention can shift dramatically from a causal I and the heavy world-on-my-shoulders responsibility that brings… to a receptive I that basks in the gifts of The Divine.
The Causal I
In causal mode, you believe you are responsible for creating all that you want. For correcting your perceived imperfections. For managing your emotions, and the emotions of those around you. The list goes on.
You must therefore KNOW what to say. You must gather knowledge and expertise. You must crack the formula. YOU must determine the action to take and take it. It’s an almighty effort to be sure…
You get to assume the credit, but of course you also risk the blame – for you perceive yourself to be personally responsible.
In the silence, someone has to take up the slack; find the words that will fill the void and keep the self alive.
Rarely do the words that come from the formulaic causal I truly inspire. They can seem shiny and good but are, most likely, hollow and powerless in any real way. Kind of the ‘fake tan’ end of the ‘power of the word’ spectrum.
The Receptive I
In receptive mode the self becomes effortlessly attentive to the subtle movements within the non-personal as they coincide with the personal. (Take a breath, I’ll explain that later)
The self becomes attuned to the rhythm of The Divine, and discerns its presence amongst the noise.
In this way the dance becomes synchronous, harmonious, in time, responsive. The self surrenders to the rhythm and is moved. The pattern of Graceful genius becomes expressed through the receptive I.
In the silence, the self is cradled by The Divine; feeling it’s innate support, feeling it’s innate power; buoyed by the waves.
The experience is akin to that feeling against your back when the car you are in sets off. It’s a feeling of being moved, and the words speak.
Living in the realm of the receptive I requires you to surrender the habitual causal I and nurture an active ability to notice what is ‘moving’. The term I use for ‘what is moving’ is animation…
In case you don’t know, NPA stands for Non-Personal Awareness and The NPA Process is a very simple and very effective tool for letting go of the yukky stuff and letting in the yummy stuff of life. Most people know it as a beautifully simple way to stop taking stuff personally… and it’s much more than that.
Because The NPA Process seems so simple (it’s just 6 lines long!), people often cheat themselves of the greater opportunity it brings them. To put it bluntly, they think that once they have the lines that’s it… they’ve got it and need go no further.
That’s like putting a dusty old painting from your attic in a boot sale; never realising you sold a Rembrandt original for a fiver.Â
There is an art to using The NPA Process…
And those that choose to do the further trainings will tell you that something amazing happens once they have mastered this ‘art’.
What they quickly realise, is that they have gained a powerful skill whose benefits go WAY beyond just using The NPA Process. It’s a skill which allows you to master your alignment with your moment-by-moment Divine Expression.
It’s the skill of spotting the ‘animation’ in any given moment.
Animation is one of several unique terms we use within the NPA toolkit. To quote the Non-Personal Terminology Handbook, spotting animation is the skill of:
“Becoming effortlessly attentive to the subtle movements within the non-personal as they coincide with the personal”.
That’s a very technical and precise description, and I promised to explain it earlier…
So, in simple terms, you could say it’s the skill of listening to (and receiving) The Divine. And, by the way, this is something which can only happen in the realm of the Receptive I.
In both the NPA: Basic Training video programme, and my NPA: The Bridge audio programme, I go to great lengths to help you understand how key the skill of spotting animation is to experiencing Graceful and powerful NPA processes.Â
So as you practice and become skilled with The NPA Process, not only do you make a positive difference to the small and big stuff in your life, but you also move yourself firmly into the Divine realm of The Receptive I.
I can’t emphasise it enough: This is an incredible life skill!
When you start effortlessly listening to The Divine, your life becomes magical.
You experience alignment, clarity and flow.  An effortless grace infuses your life experience. The words begin to speak you, life begins to carry you and silence ceases to be scary. In fact silence, and the whole backdrop of your life, transforms into a source of inspired potential.
THE NPA PROCESS: BASIC TRAINING…
“This video programme will walk you step by step through the core training of The NPA Process and give you what you need to get started making a difference in your life right away with NPA.”
These days, I am un-phased by silence and have no need to fill it. I speak when words speak me. I am quiet when they don’t.
And I invite you to join me here…
For when words speak you, they carry the rhythm and power of The Divine. The pattern of Graceful genius as expressed through YOUÂ can begin to emerge… For your joy, and the benefit of all.
As always, I welcome your comments, and am grateful if you choose to share this musing. The best place to start your journey to a magical animation led life is HERE ♥
This Easter musing on NPA & Life takes a good look at the idea of ‘Thy Will be done’. From a Christian-centric Easter perspective and the story of Jesus in The Garden of Gethsemane – the events that lead to The Passion of Christ – through to a very non-personal perspective on the idea of ‘handing it over to God’.
So let’s crack open this sweet egg, and take a ride down the Easter Bunny hole…
The Garden of Gethsemane, Jerusalem, 2008
In 2008 I had the privilege of teaching the first ever Journey Intensive Weekend for Brandon Bays in Israel. During that trip I had the opportunity to visit Jerusalem – an opportunity I was NOT going to miss.
I was raised Christian, my Grandpa was a Vicar; I went to Sunday school and sang with the church choir. I didn’t really relate to all that bible stuff, but no doubt it’s in my blood. Later as I walked the path of awakening, I was re-introduced to the core spiritual ideas that appear in Christianity, but also within the other main religious texts. In my ‘conversations with God’ over the years, Jesus has regularly been a ‘form’ through which the Divine has spoken to me. And often when Christ was around there was a good deal of talk about the nature of surrender and Divine Will.
So, on reflection, it is no surprise to me that of all the places I visited in Jerusalem, it was the Garden of Gethsemane that touched me most deeply.
The Garden of Gethsemane, Jerusalem, Circa AD 33
What took place in the garden marks Maundy Thursday and begins the Passion of Christ and all the Christian events associated with the Easter Festival. While much of the Easter attention falls on the crucifixion and the resurrection, in my mind ALL of that is cradled in the teaching of surrender that was reached through Jesus’ very human conversation with God; often known as his anguished prayer.
In case you don’t know, The Bible tells how after the last supper, in full awareness of Judas’ imminent betrayal, Jesus takes his disciples to their usual hangout, the garden of Gethsemane. As he waits there he goes off to pray, beseeching God to spare him. He basically says: “God, I know all things are possible to You, so please show me if there is another way? In fact, if there IS another way please, please, please do that!â€, and yet with full authenticity he finishes his prayer with “and always, Thy Will be doneâ€
The lesson here is not one of personal power, it is one of non-personal awareness. Jesus does NOTÂ set a personal goal of living without suffering and make that happen, glorifying in his awesomeness when he hits his goal or entering a self-blame/critique/lesson scenario if he misses.
Rather, he shows us that you can be fully present and acknowledge the human expression (the experience of the frightened personality in this case) and still be fully connected to the true source of all decision, consequence & experience: The Infinite, The Origin, God.
Non-Personal Responsibility
You see, often ‘Thy Will be done’ is interpreted as a personal doing. In other words, “It’s my personal responsibility to hand it over to Godâ€.
A non-personal interpretation would be that if, like Jesus, you become fully awake to the realisation that there is no personal causality, and every perceived reality is, in fact, at consequence only to God (or ‘The Field’ if you prefer) – then you will understand that the fundamental spiritual dictate: ‘Hand it over to God’ is not an instruction for ‘you’ to ‘do’ the handing over. Rather, it’s an invitation to simply realise the True source of all experience, inspiration and action.
So, Jesus understood that no matter what personal action he undertook, God was in charge. In the end; Thy Will be done. Byron Katie (author of Loving What Is), who’s term for God is ‘reality’ puts it nicely, saying “When you argue with reality you lose, but only 100% of the timeâ€.
So, this Easter, I invite you to entertain the notion that Thy Will is being done. I encourage you to notice how you are being moved, being breathed, being ‘done’. I also invite you to honour your personal experiences and wishes in that, and be with them as kindly as possible. The Morning Prayer which I share on my Heaven & Earth CD (http://www.shop.npacentral.com/other-products/), provides a format which fully embraces these ideas, so that could be a great resource for you if you’d like a little support with that.
Real Silence has nothing to do with sound. There is an inner Silence that is always available, no matter what clamber and clatter surrounds you.
The Dance
I have sat with meditation “masters” who would go to great pains to control the environment, and especially noise in the room. I even remember an occasion where the teacher sent a staff member from the seminar room and out to the other side of the street. He was tasked to entreat the gentlemen who were minding their own and drilling the road, to please, in the name of Grace, shut the F*$# up… at least until we had finished meditating. As a testimony to the staff members charm and Grace, they actually DID shut the F*$# up, rather than telling him to do the same.
This dance was based on the notion that the energetics of the space are disturbed by external noise, which in turn can prohibit good meditation.
While I acknowledge that an outer reflection of silence can support ones ability to notice a true inner silence, or at least highlight the noise in your head, the association of the two can ultimately be misleading.
True Silence
True Silence is never disturbed. Not by anything, and certainly not by noise. True Silence is a backdrop of total absence, against which the noise of experience, the one song, can be perceived.
Versions of the ‘Silence Please!’ dance don’t always come as grossly caricatured as the example I gave. It’s mostly a subtle thing, an irritation or a need for such-n-such to be just-so before true bliss can be realised.
If you find your sacred meditation space invaded by noise, and these controls and avoidances (cloaked as ‘honouring’) arise, then I invite you to be still… let your meditation be to notice the Silence beyond the noise. Here you will find the secret to peace in the storm of life.
Namaste. Tick-tock. Om Shanti. Woof Woof Woof. Peace &… Nee-Noorr-Neee-Nooorr. …Love my friend 😉
OK. So that might seem like an odd question to ask you, but here’s the thing:
Forcing your personal growth or Spiritual evolution is like pumping chickens full of growth hormones…
If you don’t believe in pumping chickens full of growth hormones or farming vegetables through artificial growth processes, and yet find yourself cracking the whip on yourself in the name of healing, personal growth or spiritual progress then I invite you to take a gentle look at the energetic environment you’re hanging out in.
Disregard For Natural Order
It’s the same consciousness that engages that behaviour in both situations. It comes from the belief that pushing hard and forcing things beyond their natural pace pays dividends. And perhaps also the fear that NOT pushing means no growth at all.
In both cases it can seem to achieve what you want in the short term and yet, the unkindness and disregard for natural order inevitably makes it unsustainable. At some point a backlash needs to happen. To put that another way… Nature asserts itself eventually.
Plus, chances are, the road of Force is a hard and fun-less journey for all involved!
Let Yourself Be
Let yourself be, and you’ll begin to connect to the natural rhythm of life, which offers smooth steady evolution AND exciting effortless growth spurts, all in joyful harmony.
I’d love to get your comments and have you share this blog. And if you do share, then you’ll unlock some extra content: “Cluck or Yuk -Â Six Choice Checks for Spiritual Chicks” (Including man-chicks. I’m going with aliteration over gender vernacular and demographic accuracy)
Have a Natural Day – Joel x
Cluck OR Yuk! Six Choice Checks for Spiritual Chicks
Thought I’d get 2014 rolling with a bit of hard-core spiritual heresy, and happened across some video footage from a panel talk I did with two excellent non-personal friends in Toronto last year.
So, here’s an extract from: “An Evening of Dynamic Conversation on The New Wave of Non-Personal Development”
It’s moderated by Dave Clark (President of the publishing agency – Solutions Inc.), and I was joined by Arnold Timmerman (Author of Leadingship – Exploring the essence of leadership dynamics) and Philip Shepherd (Author of New World, New Self – Coming to our senses in the 21st century).
Arnold & I had talked many times about doing an event like this, and it happened that our schedules coincided in Canada last May. It was a great bonus to be joined by Philip and have an opportunity to offer multiple takes on the non-personal perspective, spirituality and personal development.
Show Me The Heresy…
The particular aspect of heresy we express in this clip, is on the topic of The Ego. We take a look at where the non-personal perspective on it differs from much of the popular personal growth and spiritual dogma that’s fashionable these days.
In this extract the conversation addresses topics like…
What is the nature of our authentic selves and who we think we are?
What is the impact of self inquiry on who we think are?
Does the Ego disappear when you become present?
How does the Ego relate to the human condition and Divinity?
Can you actually get rid of the ego?
What is the mechanism that creates the ego?
What is the mechanism that creates states of enlightenment?
What is the true nature of Unconditional Love?
How does conscious experiencing effect your life’s purpose?
It’s amazing what you can cover in a little over 6 minutes.
Enjoy The Video…
You Can Quote Us…
“When you start self-inquiry, you’ll find that who we are is much more fluid than we think it might be” Arnold Timmerman
“I don’t even think about ‘is my ego involved or isn’t it’ – I want to be fully present and whole” Philip Shepherd
“The minute you start making anything in your experience bad or wrong you instantly step out of the availability of your wholeness” Joel Young
I was working with a client last week and got into some interesting territory around cravings she was experiencing. Inevitably, we looked at it through the lens of non-personal awareness. One of the hall marks of the non-personal perspective is to switch from a personalised view point to a relational one.
Have you ever been in a situation where the people around you are in an absolute stink? A prolonged state of ‘negativity’ where it seems like nothing you say or do, no matter how well intentioned, can encouraged them to come back into their heart?
