This post looks deeper at the thorny area of wealth, money and abundance. It hopes to help you hack through the prickly undergrowth and awaken the sleeping beauty within…
I’m always grateful for comments. I find they inspire me, and my responses are as much a discovery for me as I hope they are for the commenter! My recent post “Want Wealth? Get Connected To What Truly Matters” elicited a comment from Sara that held questions. As I commented back it took me deeper into the topic. I realised there was a LOT to say and that this response actually merited a post all it’s own.You could think of this post as a ‘Part 2’ and I strongly recommend youread the previous post as a ‘Part 1’as it will give you a context for what comes below.
Sara’s Comment & Questions
“Iâ€™m confused. Are you talking about wealth as a connection to/with abundance or to/with monetary wealth? Both â€˜matterâ€™ for more or less everyone yet, as you clearly state, the lack of the later (money) might show us that we donâ€™t value it as much as other aspects of our lives. How so? Given that the vast majority of people live such monetised lives, how come materialising monetary wealth is so darn difficult? Thanks for a thought/comment-provoking read.”
Hi Sara, Thanks so much for your comment and questions. I LOVE that you found it thought provoking and boy, is it easy to get confused on this one. I’ll give it a shot and answer your questions as best I can from my perspective…
Q: “Are you talking about wealth as a connection to/with abundance or to/with monetary wealth?”
I would say I am inviting people to investigate. Firstly their relationship between them, and then if their story meets the reality, which naturally leads to your second question…
Q: “Given that the vast majority of people live such monetised lives, how come materialising monetary wealth is so darn difficult?”
Monetary Wealth: Easy Peasy or Herculean Effort?
Here’s what I’ve noticed…
For some people, monetary wealth is easy peasy. It has nothing to do with ‘their work being their passion’, ‘them following their dream’ etc etc – it’s just that for them it shows up.
For others, they can do all the ‘right things’, follow their dream etc etc. but when they look at their balance sheet and tell themselves ‘I have to make money’ it all starts to feel like a total grind. Their Herculean efforts in pursuit of the money are largely ineffective. The fact is, when their focus shifts to the money, somewhere inside they die a little… OK, I’m being melodramatic here, but sometimes that’s how it feels, right?
So if you’re in situation 1, money truly matters to you! You love it without issue; without conflict. It’s not necessarily attached to a particular task, purpose or feeling (though it could be); it’s just the neutral truth. In NPA terms we would say that money is a primary active energy within your field of awareness. In simple terms, money truly matters to you so it materialises for you readily.
If you’re more in the realm of situation 2, the neutral truth is that, on balance, money doesn’t truly matter to you. Money is NOT a primary active energy within your field of awareness. Perhaps it’s secondary or tertiary, but it’s not the first point of materialisation and not directly connected to your natural stream of abundance.
But that switch of focus from what truly matters to you, to ‘money’ is where the suffering, stalling and struggle begins. It’s like driving a train alongside the railway track rather than on it; it’s highly inefficient, bumpy, fraught with danger and not very clever.
The difficulty for you in this case, is that the modern cultural mythology and the structures built around that, bathe you daily in the idea that money matters most, or at least more than it actually does to you. Your tendancy is probably to buy into that perspective, and disconnect from your local experience and perspective.
The challenge then is to buck the mythology and trust that money matters enough that it will materialise in support of what truly matters, where money is required to facilitate that.
My invitation is to get your train back on the tracks, and here’s how:
STEP 1: Get real about what truly matters, discover the huge wealth of it that you already have and appreciate your natural abundance.
STEP 2: Come to peace with your relationship to monetary wealth as it truly is right now and understand where it sits in the landscape of who you experience yourself to be.
STEP 3: Allow these relationships to evolve in a way that keeps you as connected as possible to; your point of materialisation, your sense of abundance and any newly clarified intentions, in a sustainable way going forward.
So now I’ve written all this, I realise two things.
Firstly, that a lot of people could probably use help with those three steps.
Secondly that I can’t fully claim to have it all down myself. BUT what I DO know, is what truly matters to me. And what matters to me is finding creative ways to help myself and others live a kinder, easier and more fulfilling life. I find this effortless and there’s a wealth of it in my life. Furthermore, I realise that NPA, it’s perspectives and the creative ways I’ve come to use it is a perfect vehicle through which these inquiries can be explored.
Wanna Take A Ride?
With that in mind I’ve decided to create a month longÂ experiential tele-seminar called The August Abundance Assembly and invite you to join me! That way, together we can travel through the 3 evolutionary steps to connected wealth alignment that I outlined above.
So, if you’re interested in getting back on the tracks of abundance that have been Gracefully laid out for you in this lifetime, and taking a joyful ride on the true-wealth train with me, thenhop on over to this page where you can sign up for more info about The August Abundance Assembly, with me & Non-Personal Awareness – and be the first to know when the booking goes live!
The air is alive with World Cup fever this month. It’s something that comes around like clockwork, fills the participant nations with high emotion and has the potential to deliver the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.
How, thought I, could I possibly relate this footie-phenomena to the joys of a non-personal perspective in a personal world?
Well, if you’ll pardon the pun, it turns out that it offers us a golden opportunity for self reflection and a shot at deeper freedom…
The other day I caught one of those ‘count down’ TV programmes, the World Cup Top 100 something-or-others, and what I noticed is that we hold distinct national ‘identities’, which directly relate to ‘what we are like’ in the World Cup.
For example – England are rubbish at penalties, Irish fans expect nothing but have the best time, Cameroon are likeable rogues, Germany are efficient and effective; always in contention etc etc.
It’sÂ intriguing that the identification each nation has taken on in relation to their World Cup experience, seems to play itself out again and again. The thing is, the same mechanism is operating in our individual lives; we each have our own ‘World Cup’ event, we have assumed an identity in relation to it, and we play out this identification as our habituated track through the event. With a sigh we are left wondering why it happened pretty much the way it always does.
Of course, if you’re a Brazil, an Argentina or a Germany in relation to your personal World Cup, then chances are you feel pretty happy with how things pan out.
However if you’re an England and find yourself constantly disappointed and longing for the glory days; or if you’re a USA who’s only really interested when you’re winning and dismissive of the whole thing when you’re not; or if you’re a Scotland thatÂ ends up with the opportunity to play much less than you feel you deserve and often end up on the sidelines gaining hollow satisfaction from seeing your ‘only slightly more talented’ sibling country falling flat on their faces again… well then, perhaps, it’s time to break the pattern and have a different experience..?
The Road To Your World Cup Heaven
So, here’s your chance for some self-inquiry. I could call it steps 1-4, but it’s oh-so-much more fun to continue the metaphor:
You’ve gotta be in it to win it, so firstly you’ll haveÂ to get through the qualifying stages. For that you’re going to need to ask yourself what your ‘World Cup’ situation is? Then to survive the group stages you’ll need to knowÂ who you are being in relation to that situation?
Next it’s knock-out time and it’ll take some fancy footwork toÂ uncover which key aspects you’ll need to leverage, to bring more freedom and ease to the situation. Pull all of this off, and you’ll make The Final, where you can use a little NPA (the ‘Pele’ of tools for this kind of thing) and score the winning goal that canÂ reset who you know yourself to be!
Defining Your â€˜World Cupâ€™ Situation
To help get you qualified for the main event, here’s some qualities that define the World Cup and which you can use metaphorically to look at the defining your personal World Cup event:
World Cup Aspects Defined:
Itâ€™s a sport, so there are winners and losers, with a series of events and a distinct outcome that defines that (add drama to taste)!
It is noteworthy on the â€˜sportingâ€™ calendar!
It happens regularly and repeatedly
Thereâ€™s a heavy investment of National identity in it. Lots of fire, passion and potential misery! (even though itâ€™s â€˜onlyâ€™ a sport)
So, to find the World Cup in your life, contemplate those aspects and ponder where this kind of pattern plays out in your life. If you want to sit back and be lead by the hand on this, skip to the bonus resources section and share the blog – then you’ll have access to a handy bendy audio that will help find your personal World Cup.
Who Are You In Relation To That Situation?
Once you’ve got a specific situation in mind it’s time to take an objective look at how it plays out. Imagine that it’s not you, not your family, not your life – just a TV drama. Ask yourself:
How does it usually play out?
What role does my character play throughout? (Think in terms of archetype, stereotypes or symbolically)
What role does my character end up in?
What judgements are my character making?
Is there a clear emotional pathway and/or a switch point? (eg. a give up point, an explosion point, an impatience-leads-to-carelessness point)
Just watch the movie and contemplate these questions, getting a general sense of the role you play and how that pattern shows up.
A Couple Of Examples
Here’s a couple of examples to give you the idea…
The Children’s Clear Up Challenge
Your ‘World Cup’ event might be asking your kids to tidy their rooms? You notice you leave the asking for as long as possible – perhaps its a 4 week cycle. You seem uncharacteristically het up about it and the kids throw all kind of strops. You want to be ‘strong Mum/Dad’ but the tears and tantrums always seem to take the juice from the legs. You hit the crossbar, miss the goal – it never quite seems to go the way you want it. When it comes to this – you just seem to play out the role of the ‘ineffective parent’, and you feel disproportionately crushed.
The Financial Ex-Factor
It’s that time again when you need to ask your ex-husband for more money for the kids. It’s always more of a drama than other conversations you have with him. You find yourself getting nervous before you call him, distrustful thoughts enter your mind, then angry thoughts – you know you play your best game when you’re centred, but you can’t help feeling meek. You fight the feeling and get angry with yourself – you know you’ve a perfect right to ask. Then you call. Sometimes he’s just fine and agrees and what a huge relief. But sometimes there’s a slight hesitation from him, a hint of resistance and you explode – you accuse him of sleight of hand with the finances, you’ve slipped into the role of ‘hysterical ex-wife’, a ‘victim’ – Â it’s an own goal – you’re devastated and bewildered… you don’t even think that stuff… ouch.
And fella’s on the other side of this one – you know there’s equally complex emotions and identities at play here for you too! â™¥
Shifting Identities with NPA
NPA is awesome for shifting identities. The NPA vernacular for them is ‘cookie cutters’ and they come in all shapes and sizes. Simply having an awareness of what you’re up to and the roles you fall into in your personal World Cup is an empowering thing and awareness alone for sure can get things moving. However, super charging with non-personal awareness has a way of releasing these traditionally sticky identities at the speed of light!
So now you’ve got the situation nicely defined, you can apply some NPA, and here’s some simple ways to do that:
4 Steps For Experienced NPA-ers:
1) Use a spew from the set up questions and contemplations in section 1 (the qualifying stage) to get a situational cookie cutter. Self elicit in your preferred way and chooseÂ the most animated cookie cutter. 2) Ask yourself: In relation to [Situational CC], who or what are you being? 3) Spew and elicit the most animated cookie cutter(s) 4) Run those cookie cutters through the NPA Process.
Simple Instructions For Newbies & Beginner NPA-ers:
Simply share this article via the bonus box and you will get access to a 6 min video that will take you through how to do the process. There will also be an outline of the NPA Process words themselves. There’s a ‘gap’ in the process where you insert the cookie cutter you are using.
If you’re a newbie simply use whatever role or roles you came up with that you play as your ‘cookie cutter’.
So in the examples I gave above, the cookie cutter to use for The Children’s Clear Up Challenge would be [ineffective parent]. And for The Financial Ex-Factor, there are two: [hysterical ex-wife] & [victim], requiring two processes. Obviously, it’s going to be whatever role you are seeing yourself in, not the examples. Just put that in the process, say the 6 lines, including those words out loud and see what happens.
If you want to understand all those ‘Experienced NPA-ers’ terms and do really graceful NPA, you’ll need to get some training via our comprehensive audio programmeNPA: The Bridgeor by attending anEvent. You can also get direct assistance from me, and make a huge difference in your lifeHERE.
Bonus Resources For Sharing
I’d love you to share this article on your social networks, and doing so will give you instant access to the NPA Basic Training video, The NPA Process words AND a guided elicitation to help you through steps 1 & 2 described above.
NPA Basic Training
Words For The NPA Process
The NPA Process (c) Joel Young 2007 onwards
Your Guided Elicitation
Hit play and enjoy!
Hi, this is Joel Young, the creator & custodian of NPA. Thanks for sharing the blog. This audio will give you a helping hand to define aÂ situation in life which is your personal world cup. Make sure you’re in a safe place to do this – neither driving nor using heavy machinery. So let’s begin.
Get yourself comfortable and take a deep breath, sigh it out… and as you relax, and allow yourself to contemplate the movie of your day to day life, knowing that the answer will find you, you might wonder what situation, or set of events seems to happen over and over in the same way?
The situation that pops effortlessly into your conscious awareness now, will be one that stands out as somehow important to you. Even though it might seem trivial in the scheme of things, the outcome in this situation inspires a lot of passion â€“ it matters somehow â€“ even if you donâ€™t know why? And it might be something you get very heated about?
Perhaps you notice, that if or when the outcome goes your way â€“ you feel elated. However – if or when the outcome doesn’t go your way â€“ you feel incredibly deflated, or perhaps even furious! You may have noticed that each time this situation occurs, it plays out in much the same way, with perhaps a few minor deviations from the norm?
So, as you relax and allow yourself to contemplate the movie of your day to day life â€“ what situation is coming into your awareness? Be light and open – it’s not an exact science, and doesn’t have to tick every box – just trust that you can work with whatever situation is showing up, or the one you simply decide to pick… When you’re ready, make a note of the situation, a simple reference.
OK, so let’s take it to the next step…
With that specific situation in mind you can now take an objective look at how it plays out. Watch it play out on a screen. Imagine that it’s not you, not your family, not your life – just a TV drama and as it plays out, contemplate what role your character plays throughout. Let the label for the role find you – it can just pop into your mind. It might come as anÂ archetype, like victim, martyr or rebel. It might come as a stereotype like geek, bread winner, drama queen, bully or perhaps as a judgement like dork, big kid, idiot, pathetic person… just be open and trust whatever pops in. Write it down – for newbies – that’s your cookie cutter!
Once you’ve run it through the process, let me know what you experience in the comments and be sure to visit our main site at NonPersonalAwareness.com
Artist credit: World Cup Selfie by Emma Allen – http://www.emmaallen.org/gallery/
We hold distinct national ‘identities’, which directly relate to ‘what we are like’ in the World Cup. via @JoelYoungNPA
It’s intriguing that the identification that nations take on in relation to the World Cup, play themselves out repeatedly. via @JoelYoungNPA
In our individual lives; we each have our own ‘World Cup’ event.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
NPA is The ‘Pele’ of transformational tools :0) Â via @JoelYoungNPA
Score the winning goal that can reset who you know yourself to be! via @JoelYoungNPA
NPA is awesome for shifting identities. via @JoelYoungNPA
Having an awareness of what you’re up to and the roles you fall into is an empowering thing. via @JoelYoungNPA
Non-personal awareness has a way of releasing these traditionally sticky identities at the speed of light! via @JoelYoungNPA
Trust that you can work with whatever situation is showing up. via @JoelYoungNPA
In this Musing on NPA & Life I’m going to suggest that you noticeÂ a place in you where you have no need of life to acquiesce to your childish demands for more than you have.
In plain English that means I’m going to ask you to stop pandering to (or fighting) your inner brat. After all, s/he’s a brat.
So, let’s get this out of the way. We all have one.
It wants more. More than you have, more than you need, more…. just because more is better, and even if it isn’t better, at least it’s more, More, MORE!!!
So how does one handle this often incessant demand without suppressing or invalidating this part of you?
A Little Clarity Please…
Just to be clear – I am NOT saying ‘have no childish demands’. Childish demands come and go, as do all the colours of human experience.
My suggestion is that you have no NEED of LIFE to acquiesce to them, no matter how diligently you pray, affirm, clear out blocks, work your ass off, vision board etc etc… you get the gist.
This is, of course, only if you are interested in Truth and Peace.
And, just to be clear again – I am NOT saying donâ€™t pray, affirm, clear out blocks, work your ass off, vision board etc etc… what you are moved to do is always perfection in the widest context.
What I AM pointing to here is a discernment of Truth, from a Spiritual perspective, and a further re-alignment of ‘Being’ from ‘Dualistic Struggle’ to ‘Wholeness’
The History Of TheÂ ConsciousÂ Brat
In the latter part of last century, especially in the awakening movement, we nurtured the demanding child of our psyches and drilled ourselves on the belief in personal power.
To a degree this may have been the quenching of a natural thirst to re-integrate the personal perspective into the Whole â€“ a pendulum swing from outer focused authoritarianism and the exclusion of self-motivation. In the context of balance and integration, clearly this was an authentic act of kindness to The Human.
However, as one foot falls and has it’s moment of relevancy on the path, the other foot inevitably comes into consideration.
How To Love Your Inner Brat Wholesomely
Non-Personal Awareness on many levels is a vehicle through which you can engage in a simple inquiry to the source of â€˜youâ€™ and the experience of Self. Many are surprised at what they find; the realisation of Self as effect rather than cause. But ultimately there is relief, a resting and a natural willingness to Be.
From the highest personal perspective, it’s a matter of discernment. Part of mastering the NPA Process, and understanding Non-Personal Awareness is about becoming highly skilled at noticing ‘animation’.
Animation is my word for ‘what is already being moved by God/Grace/The Universe. It’s the ‘Energy of the moment’ and as you come to know this, you are able to let go of formulas and discern the ‘highest & best’ in the context of the present.
As you practice non-personal awareness, the personality relaxes it’s game of control and rests Gracefully in the chaotic, ordered, intelligent, beauty of Life. An invitation to notice the longings, wants and childish demands. To notice actions happening that appear to support those longings, wants and childish demands. To notice actions happening that appear to NOT support those longings, wants and childish demands. And to notice that, in any case, Life is what it is.
I have what I have. I will always have what I have. And I have no need of life to acquiesce to my childish demands for more than I have.
And just to leave your personality with a little reassurance right now; that tends to feel freakin’ awesome 😀
Childish demands come and go, as do all the colours of human experience. via @JoelYoungNPA
what you are moved to do is always perfection in the widest context.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
As one foot falls and has it’s moment of relevancy on the path, the other foot inevitably comes into consideration.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
engage in a simple inquiry to the source of â€˜youâ€™ and the experience of Self.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
Â let go of formulas and discern the ‘highest & best’ in the context of the present.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
As you practice non-personal awareness, the personality relaxes it’s game of control.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
Notice that, in any case, Life is what it is.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
I have what I have. I will always have what I have.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
I have no need of life to acquiesce to my childish demands for more than I have.Â via @JoelYoungNPA
NPA embraces and expresses one of my favourite paradoxes in the realm of healing, transformation, consciousness and love.
In this Musing on NPA & Life I want to lay it out for you, and give you an insight into, what I have come to understand is, THE biggest gift you can bring to any healing or facilitation situation.
“I’m Very Grateful”
This week I received an email from a client who wanted to express the gratitude she felt for the sessions we have been having, and offer a testimonial to share with others what she felt she experienced with me and how it has helped her.
The clue to the ‘secret ingredient’ is in here, so have a read and I’ll break it down for you after…
“WorkingÂ with Joel I have been surprised by, and so appreciated, the tender compassion and acceptanceÂ that he has brought to each session.Â He offered a genuine loving space withÂ no judgement; even of feelings I had previously felt sooo ashamed of.
In the pastÂ I have experiencedÂ aÂ certainÂ level ofÂ acceptance with facilitatorsÂ butÂ when changeÂ hasn’t come or stuckness hasÂ shown up,Â the focus on ‘moving on’ or changing has taken over.
Joel’s approach has the flavour of open-handed compassion and shows a level of acceptance which feels as if it comes very naturally from him. For me though, it was a very new experience and I feel that those qualities have been key to me moving on as I have.Â Those more tender/”dark”/”stuck” feelings, having beenÂ offered all theÂ time and space they neededÂ to feel safe and relax, let down their defences and change of their own accord.
Here I am a few months later finding myselfÂ inÂ a more peaceful and happy place! Feeling more able to deal with life, with more space and compassion now coming from within me! yeah!! I’m very grateful.”
Jane Griffin, Leicester, UK
The Secret Ingredient
SoÂ what was Jane experiencing ‘coming naturally from me’? She states; compassion, acceptance, genuine loving space, no judgement. These are qualities which naturally arise from the secret ingredient but are not the secret ingredient itself.
The thing I love most about NPA; the thing that practising it has trained into me, into my approach to working with clients and into my life in general is it’s agenda-less-ness. OK, so that’s not, strictly speaking, a real word but it points to the fact that NPA, in it’s pure form, comes with no agenda. And having NO agenda IS the secret ingredient.
AndÂ there-in lies the paradox, and the challenge for many a would-be power-user of NPA, and many a fine transformational practitioner. The question goes: “Surely if someone is paying me money to get some kind of outcome or result – shouldn’t I be doing everything in my power to get them there? Or at least to help them getthemselvesthere!!??”
The trouble is, all that “I, me, them, their, there” stuff is based on personal power. Personal power requires a person. Persons come with an agenda. Agenda’s come with timelines, outcomes, comparisons, judgements, intentions… that leads to right ways and wrong ways both overt and covert… that leads to dogma and dogma leads to blindness… I think you get the idea.
NPA invites you to:
Express yourself in your natural way.
To say a few simple lines.
To notice what happens (if anything).
That’s it. No agenda.
So How Does That Consistently Facilitate Healing?
Let’s break it down
The problem with agendas – even ones with positive intent, even subtle energetic easily self-deniable ones – is that they apply pressure towards the intended outcome or route. Pressure tends to invoke resistance, resistance leads to persistence and before you know it you’re in a world of friction and potential stuckness. That can lead to further pressure in support of the agenda and so begins an un-helpful loop.
Jane illustrates it when she says, “In the pastÂ I have experiencedÂ aÂ certainÂ level ofÂ acceptance with facilitators” – in other words, there was an agenda with the facilitator, and she goes on to say how the agenda kicks up a gear, “butÂ when changeÂ hasn’t come or stuckness hasÂ shown up,Â the focus on ‘moving on’ or changing has taken over.”
As you train more in the art of using NPA, you’ll begin to appreciate the importance and power of it’s agenda-less-ness. The power in NPA is NON-personal; as you get out of the way (drop the agenda) things begin to resolve all by themselves… in wonderful, effortless and sometimes miraculous ways.
Working agenda-less-ly with Jane meant that we met in a state of mutual, gentle discovery. It was like watching a flower blossom… and how personally are you involved in that process?
As Jane put it, “Those more tender/”dark”/”stuck” feelings, having beenÂ offered all theÂ time and space they neededÂ to feel safe and relax, let down their defences and change of their own accord.”
They(the feelings) let down theirdefences and changed of their own accord… And THAT is how having no agenda consistently facilitates healing, transformation, evolutions in consciousness and love.
Let It Come Alive
I have found that people who bathe themselves in the non-personal perspective at The NPA Expansive Weekend and beyond, find that it naturally comes alive in them, and with that dogma’s and agenda’s fall away. They still, of course, are available to passing intentions, outcome notions and the like, but rather than wearing them as uniform, they are passing fancy dress outfits that serve to raise a smile, warm the heart, lift a weight, disarm or arm; they come, and are used when useful and kind, and are discarded effortlessly as the truth of the moment dictates.
In the end it comes down to this, “Less ‘you-who-knows’ and more ‘Life-will-show’, invites the magic moment”
“Having NO agenda IS the secret ingredient”Â via @JoelYoungNPAÂ
“Dogma leads to blindness”Â via @JoelYoungNPAÂ
“NPA invites you to express yourself in your natural way”Â via @JoelYoungNPAÂ
“The problem with agendas is that they apply pressureÂ towardsÂ the intended outcome or route”Â via @JoelYoungNPA
“As YOUÂ get out of the way, things begin to resolve all by themselves”Â via @JoelYoungNPA
“We met in a state of mutual, gentle discovery. It was like watching a flower blossom…” via @JoelYoungNPA
“Having no agenda consistently facilitates healing, transformation, evolutions in consciousness and love”Â via @JoelYoungNPA
“Less ‘you-who-knows’ and more ‘Life-will-show’, invites the magic moment”Â via @JoelYoungNPA
This Easter musing on NPA & Life takes a good look at the idea of â€˜Thy Will be doneâ€™. From a Christian-centric Easter perspective and the story of Jesus in The Garden of Gethsemane – the events that lead to The Passion of Christ – through to a very non-personal perspective on the idea of â€˜handing it over to Godâ€™.
So letâ€™s crack open this sweet egg, and take a ride down the Easter Bunny holeâ€¦
The Garden of Gethsemane, Jerusalem, 2008
In 2008 I had the privilege of teaching the first ever Journey Intensive Weekend for Brandon Bays in Israel. During that trip I had the opportunity to visit Jerusalem â€“ an opportunity I was NOT going to miss.
I was raised Christian, my Grandpa was a Vicar; I went to Sunday school and sang with the church choir. I didn’t really relate to all that bible stuff, but no doubt itâ€™s in my blood. Later as I walked the path of awakening, I was re-introduced to the core spiritual ideas that appear in Christianity, but also within the other main religious texts. In my â€˜conversations with Godâ€™ over the years, Jesus has regularly been a â€˜formâ€™ through which the Divine has spoken to me. And often when Christ was around there was a good deal of talk about the nature of surrender and Divine Will.
So, on reflection, it is no surprise to me that of all the places I visited in Jerusalem, it was the Garden of Gethsemane that touched me most deeply.
The Garden of Gethsemane, Jerusalem, Circa AD 33
What took place in the garden marks Maundy Thursday and begins the Passion of Christ and all the Christian events associated with the Easter Festival. While much of the Easter attention falls on the crucifixion and the resurrection, in my mind ALL of that is cradled in the teaching of surrender that was reached through Jesusâ€™ very human conversation with God; often known as his anguished prayer.
In case you donâ€™t know, The Bible tells how after the last supper, in full awareness of Judasâ€™ imminent betrayal, Jesus takes his disciples to their usual hangout, the garden of Gethsemane. As he waits there he goes off to pray, beseeching God to spare him. He basically says: â€œGod, I know all things are possible to You, so please show me if there is another way? In fact, if there IS another way please, please, please do that!â€, and yet with full authenticity he finishes his prayer with â€œand always, Thy Will be doneâ€
The lesson here is not one of personal power, it is one of non-personal awareness. Jesus does NOTÂ set a personal goal of living without suffering and make that happen, glorifying in his awesomeness when he hits his goal or entering a self-blame/critique/lesson scenario if he misses.
Rather, he shows us that you can be fully present and acknowledge the human expression (the experience of the frightened personality in this case) and still be fully connected to the true source of all decision, consequence & experience: The Infinite, The Origin, God.
You see, often â€˜Thy Will be doneâ€™ is interpreted as a personal doing. In other words, â€œItâ€™s my personal responsibility to hand it over to Godâ€.
A non-personal interpretation would be that if, like Jesus, you become fully awake to the realisation that there is no personal causality, and every perceived reality is, in fact, at consequence only to God (or ‘The Field’ if you prefer) – then you will understand that the fundamental spiritual dictate: ‘Hand it over to God’ is not an instruction for ‘you’ to ‘do’ the handing over. Rather, itâ€™s an invitation to simply realise the True source of all experience, inspiration and action.
So, Jesus understood that no matter what personal action he undertook, God was in charge. In the end; Thy Will be done. Byron Katie (author of Loving What Is), whoâ€™s term for God is â€˜realityâ€™ puts it nicely, saying â€œWhen you argue with reality you lose, but only 100% of the timeâ€.
So, this Easter, I invite you to entertain the notion that Thy Will is being done. I encourage you to notice how you are being moved, being breathed, being â€˜doneâ€™. I also invite you to honour your personal experiences and wishes in that, and be with them as kindly as possible. The Morning Prayer which I share on my Heaven & Earth CD (http://www.shop.npacentral.com/other-products/), provides a format which fully embraces these ideas, so that could be a great resource for you if youâ€™d like a little support with that.
OK. So that might seem like an odd question to ask you, but here’s the thing:
Forcing your personal growth or Spiritual evolution is like pumping chickens full of growth hormones…
If you don’t believe in pumping chickens full of growth hormones or farming vegetables through artificial growth processes, and yet find yourself cracking the whip on yourself in the name of healing, personal growth or spiritual progress then I invite you to take a gentle look at the energetic environment you’re hanging out in.
Disregard For Natural Order
It’sÂ the same consciousness that engages that behaviour in both situations. It comes from the belief that pushing hard and forcing things beyond their natural pace pays dividends. And perhaps also the fear that NOT pushing means no growth at all.
In both cases it can seem to achieve what you want in the short term and yet, the unkindness and disregard for natural order inevitably makes it unsustainable. At some point a backlash needs to happen. To put that another way… Nature asserts itself eventually.
Plus, chances are, the road of Force is a hard and fun-less journey for all involved!
Let Yourself Be
Let yourself be, and you’ll begin to connect to the natural rhythm of life, which offers smooth steady evolution AND exciting effortless growth spurts, all in joyful harmony.
I’d love to get your comments and have you share this blog. And if you do share, then you’ll unlock some extra content: “Cluck or Yuk -Â Six Choice Checks for Spiritual Chicks” (Including man-chicks. I’m going with aliteration over gender vernacular and demographic accuracy)
Have a Natural Day – Joel x
Cluck OR Yuk! Six Choice Checks for Spiritual Chicks
If you tend to rationalise the crap out of feeling alone, well I understand.
Especially on â€˜Saint bloody Valentines dayâ€™…
Maybe you question why you haven’t got thatspecial someone with you and berate yourself with some bugger’s reason why you should have.
Perhaps you rage at the vulgarity of Valentines commercialism and scorn the couple’s who fell for it; displaying their loved up life on Facebook like a badge of honour. Perhaps you quietly, secretly, wish them a nasty break up.
Perhaps you hide your heart in the Haagen-Dazs pot â€“ cookies and silent scream.
These are culturally acceptable strategies for dealing with feeling alone. They are seriously rubbish and usually serve to make you feel worse.
Hereâ€™s the thing. You need a hug.
(And, by the way, the same goes for Christmas, New Years, Birthday’s and all those traditionally ‘social’ occasions…)
You Need A Hug
And Iâ€™m not talking about one of those civilized, love & light, bromance kinda hugs you see happening everywhere these days â€“ although Iâ€™ve gotta say Iâ€™m all for them over a hand shake, an air kiss or an awkward stand-off.
No, Iâ€™m talking about one of those uncompromising, unhindered, full out, full on, â€˜Iâ€™m totally f***ing here â€“ this moment is. my. everything.â€™ kinda hugs. A hug that says everything you ever wanted to hear without a single word being said. A hug that has exactly nothing to do with sex or orgasms and yet gives every cell in your body the deepest permission to sing and cry and laugh and scream in one dizzy, crazy, out-of-control yet safely held moment. A hug that says yes to everything you are, everything youâ€™ve been and everything you long to become.
THAT, dear reader, is the hug Iâ€™m talking about.
The Big Question
And hereâ€™s the big question: Can you feel it? As you read the description of the hug â€“ did you feel it? Can you go there? Can you LET yourself touch into it?
Because, while itâ€™s flippinâ€™ wonderful to get that from someone else, the truth is there are parts of you that are looking for THAT kind of hug from you, and only you. In the same way that sometimes toddlers just need their Mum, and no one else will do â€“ not even Daddy. This can be true whether you are in a wonderful relationship, a crappy relationship or no relationship. Sometimes youâ€™ve just gotta get in there and hug yourself!
A Deep, Out-Of-Control, Yet Safely Held Moment
This week I worked with a client in his 30â€™s who had undergone a very traumatic event when he was 18. Out of the experience a great deal of positive inner searching, personal and spiritual growth had come and yet he, his 18 year old traumatised consciousness, was still somehow alone and locked down. For all the work heâ€™d done and help heâ€™d got, this inner kid needed to feel it. He needed to down-to-his-bones know: he wasnâ€™t alone anymore. He needed THAT kind of hug.
And no, I didnâ€™t give him that hug. I simply helped him to realise the man heâ€™d become was the one that his 18 year old self was looking for. And helped him to realise that the man heâ€™d become was ready; that all that heâ€™d been through, all that heâ€™d been inspired to learned and all the ways that heâ€™d grown meant he could finally meet his younger self, hold him and give him THAT kind of hug.
It was indeed a deep, out-of-control yet safely held moment. And although he hardly moved a muscle â€“ it was a deeply physical experience and the key that unlocked his long held defences and set him on the road to outward fulfilment.
So, if youâ€™re alone this Valentines, or at any time â€“ whether youâ€™re single or in a relationship but not getting that hug â€“ perhaps itâ€™s you youâ€™re looking for – and you wont settle for less. If you can even begin to connect emotionally with my description of â€˜THAT kind of hugâ€™ or it points you to your own description that you can connect with then youâ€™ve gone a long way to finding the perfect love today.
If you wanna go for it, then…
I invite you to imagine thereâ€™s a younger self thatâ€™s looking for THAT kind of hug today. It doesnâ€™t matter how old she or he is â€“ whatever age â€˜youâ€™, shows up in your sense or imagination is perfect. And if there are many â€“ form a queue â€“ thereâ€™s plenty of hugs to go around, and just pick one for now.
Once you have a sense of them, just feel, sense or see yourself go over to them and connect. Youâ€™re ready, so just take them in your arms and give them THAT kind of hug. If it helps to re-read my description â€“ great, do that. Or simply feel your way through it organically â€“ you know what they need. You know what you need. Hug it out.
Remembering to not take things personally is a very freeing perspective.
However, in the stressy moments where you could most benefit from this awareness, it can be a challenge to truly connect to it. This, of course, is one of the areas where using The NPA Process can really help you! :0)
That being said, as the busy festive season presents intense opportunities to take things personally and stress out, I thought I’d make a list of some common situations where you might be tempted to make it personal.
The list is written as a set of invitations to remember that it’s NOT personal. Having this thought ‘pre-loaded’ in your awareness will help you feel much freer, easier and able to entertain a genuine smile. Think of it as preventative medicine as you read them and drink in the notion that you can easily remember that it’s not personal should any of these situations occur.
Get Set For A Christmas without Taking Things Personally…
“This video programme gives you the core training for The NPA Process so you can start taking yourself from triggered states and stress to centred-ness and peace in as little as 45 seconds…”
1. When you’re jostled in the supermarket aisle, remember: It’s Not Personal 2. Shopping frenzy is in the air… remember: It’s Not Personal 3. If someone sends harsh words your way, remember that fundamentally It’s Not Personal ♥ 4. If you didn’t get a snog at the Christmas party, remember: It’s Not Personal ;0) 5. If you get a headache, remember: It’s Not Personal 6. If you’re hit with a bug or the flu this Christmas, remember: It’s Not Personal ♥
7. If the kids don’t express eternal gratitude remember: It’s Not Personal ;0) 8. If you don’t feel very well on the big day, remember: It’s Not Personal ♥ 9. When your mother makes one of her remarks, remember: It’s Not Personal 10. If you don’t win any of the cracker pull-offs… remember It’s Not Personal ;0) 11. When your family get fractious over Christmas, remember: It’s Not Personal
12. If they forgot to call you, remember: It’s Not Personal ♥ 13. As you nurse a hangover, remember: It’s Not Personal ;0) 14. If you’re stuck in Boxing Day traffic, remember: It’s Not Personal
Have a Merry Christmas – and remember: It’s Not Personal!
Of course, as a positive thinker, I’m aware that you’re going to be cosmically ordering the perfect Christmas – more than likely online.
You know the perfect Christmas I’m talking about right..?Â The one that goes according to your plans…?
Well, just in case the cosmos has an ‘Amazon on a bad day’ moment; the stuffing hits the proverbial fan and – in spite of your many years of meditation -Â you slip out of ‘enlightened mode’ for a split second…
I thought I’d offer you some questions you can ask yourself to help you set the baubles straight on your aura… 😉
TOP TIP: While these questions are focused on resolving potential Turkey drama, they can also be powerful allies in all manor of Christmas Crises…
Question 1: What would Jesus do?
This would be my first response – it is Christmas after all! I actually don’t think there’s ever a time where channelling a bit of The Divine Christ Consciousness won’t perk you up.
Of course if you’ve “so done the Judeo Christian thing” then feel free to channel your latest fave Divine Being – I’m sure they’ll have a wise word or two on your blackened fowl.
Question 2: What was the intended consequence ofÂ serving perfect turkey and how else might I still experience that?
If you’re the practical or creative sort, this is the question for you!
I’m a great believer in the adage that an intention doesn’t put all it’s eggs in one basket. There’s going to be another way to make ’em smile with merry cheer – if that was your intention.
Like an eager understudy the alternative means to your end is right there in the wings; waiting for the signal that it’s going to have it’s moment.Â It’s as keen to be seen as you are to see it and when you completely let go of your idea of how it should be, the understudy will make it’s entrance on the fleet foot of inspiration.
Question 3: What if this is what perfection looks like?
For all you hard core awakened Souls: sometimes you just gotta go Eckhart Tolle, on it’s ass!
The eternal bliss of embracing ‘The Power of Now’ will surely help you see the innate perfection of the moment…
Here’s your quick guide:
Don your best tank top, take a few minutes in silence, empty your mind and breeeaaathe… Look your ‘Pain Body’ in the eye and give it your best Beavis & Butthead chuckle. Let that joker know that you see through the its game and that IT is the only thing that won’t end up being fed this Christmas.
Bliss, peace and enlightenment is assured… namaste
Question 4: How would Billy Connolly tell this story?
OK, so let’s not get too fixated on Billy. If you haven’t heard of him, google him (he’s a British comedian) and consider it a pre-emptive self-preservation manoeuvre. And, if Billy’s not your scene…? C’mon, really? Well you can use your favourite comedian…
As Al Murray, The Pub Landlord (another Brit comedian) says, “The point is this…” – Looking at the funny side can be the best balm when you’ve burnt your bird.
Get Set For A Christmas without Taking Things Personally…
“This video programme gives you the core training for The NPA Process so you can start taking yourself from triggered states and stress to centred-ness and peace in as little as 45 seconds…”
OK, so it might not be the veggie thing, but whatever’s come unplanned may be giving you a signal? Perhaps there’s something better than what you expected on it’s way right now? You just have to have the eyes to see it, and an open heart to let it in (everybody say ‘Awww’)
Not the quickest of fixes this one, but good for the Soul.
Question 6: What am I experiencing that I would like to allow to pass?
Did you see what I did there?
Yes, that’s Q1 from The NPA Process – and if you’ve done any NPA then this question will put you into unfettered express mode – or as I like to call it – a spew.
A spew without judgement or holding back, by itself, can be a great relief and instantly avoid PTPS (positive thinking pressure syndrome)! PLUS you get to find a cookie cutter, NPA it, stop taking it personally and (with a smile) stumble forward gracefully in whatever wholesome way works best for you!
Now, if you don’t know your spew from your cookie cutter or what the NPA I’m talking about…
a) You lucky thing, you – you’ve just happened across the simplest way I know to stop taking things personally! The NPA Process has been described as a ’45 Second Miracle’ which can help you let go of the ‘yucky stuff’ and let in the ‘yummy stuff’ of life. It’s transforming lives in over 18 countries as people realise that using this practice sets them free from the fear and effect of other peoples opinions, negative criticism and projections. It’s helping people totally shift their sense of self at the highest level and in the everyday world of 21st century human experience – bringing lightness, laughter and ease to both the mundane and major challenges of life.
b) With a little basic training you can get up and running with the practice fast, and start feeling the release and peace around your burning issues (that so many people report) in short order.Â There’s definitely an ‘art’ to getting the most from it and accessing the deepest transformations it brings over time… so…
c) You better buy yourself THIS for Christmas… And remember: NPA (and what it gives you) is for life, not just for Christmas!Â 😉
In any case, DO have a lovely Christmas – whatever happens!